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| Topic: Do you pay attention to profiles? | |
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If someone has preferences listed in their profile, do you pay attention to them, or do you hope they just won't matter?
For example, if someone has an age range preference, or a distance preference, but you think you'll hit it off, will you ignore those preferences? |
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Nope.
If they have stated a preference that rules me out, I rule them out. Period. People shouldn't have to overcome other people's prejudices. |
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I just check for nekid pictures!
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If someone has preferences listed in their profile, do you pay attention to them, or do you hope they just won't matter? For example, if someone has an age range preference, or a distance preference, but you think you'll hit it off, will you ignore those preferences? Preferences are prejudices? |
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Edited by
mssilverfox
on
Tue 10/18/11 07:01 AM
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I agree with sophiehere.. Why waste my time and theirs..
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In theory, I would pay attention to profiles. If there was ever anything in them.
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If someone has preferences listed in their profile, do you pay attention to them, or do you hope they just won't matter? For example, if someone has an age range preference, or a distance preference, but you think you'll hit it off, will you ignore those preferences? Preferences are prejudices? I see this leap of "logic" all the time. My own feeling is that a preference is simply one's own individual opinion, without attaching any particular value judgment to it. A lot of people can't distinguish between "I would like to meet someone who likes...." and "Anyone who doesn't like _______ is a horrible person." They are basically looking for something they can take offense to. I've had many many messages from women who want to give me all kinds of grief about why I hate single mothers. But I DON'T hate single mothers; I just wouldn't date one. I'm not saying single mothers are bad or evil or detrimental to the state of the society at large, I'm just saying I wouldn't date one. A lot of people can'r comprehend the difference. Preference vs. prejudice. It's all in their heads. Not my problem. |
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In theory, I would pay attention to profiles. If there was ever anything in them. Yes, that is true. There needs to be something in a profile to pay attention to. However, if there's nothing there, I'm not going to contact them to begin with unless it was just about something said in the forums. |
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If someone has preferences listed in their profile, do you pay attention to them, or do you hope they just won't matter? For example, if someone has an age range preference, or a distance preference, but you think you'll hit it off, will you ignore those preferences? Preferences are prejudices? I see this leap of "logic" all the time. My own feeling is that a preference is simply one's own individual opinion, without attaching any particular value judgment to it. A lot of people can't distinguish between "I would like to meet someone who likes...." and "Anyone who doesn't like _______ is a horrible person." They are basically looking for something they can take offense to. I've had many many messages from women who want to give me all kinds of grief about why I hate single mothers. But I DON'T hate single mothers; I just wouldn't date one. I'm not saying single mothers are bad or evil or detrimental to the state of the society at large, I'm just saying I wouldn't date one. A lot of people can'r comprehend the difference. Preference vs. prejudice. It's all in their heads. Not my problem. I agree. My preferences are just what works for me. It doesn't mean something is wrong with those who don't fit into my preferences. I'm just stating what works for me. Lots of people seem to think like soufie, though, assuming there's something negative about the preferences. I get a lot of people completely ignoring my age/distance preferences. They get mad when I don't agree that age is just a number, or when I say long distance relationships are not what I'm looking for. |
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It depends how far away I am from said preference. If I am 1 year out of the "ideal age range" for example I will ask and state that I am out of the preference.
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Yeah, I don't see one year making a big difference.
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I think it helps if they indicate whether or not there is any degree of flexibility in their preferences. I occasionally see something like "I'm really only interested in someone age ___ to age ___ but would consider someone outside that range if everything else is workable."
The problem seems to be that some people have a negative knee-jerk reaction to a profile that lets them know they are not going to be a suitable prospect. It's as if the reader thinks the exclusionary clause in the profile was directed at them, personally -- which is probably never the case, as the profile writer doesn't even know that this particular reader exists. We need to stop taking it personally, and just respect people's preferences (as we would hope they would respect ours) and move on. |
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Nope. If they have stated a preference that rules me out, I rule them out. Period. People shouldn't have to overcome other people's prejudices. pretty much . . . |
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I think it helps if they indicate whether or not there is any degree of flexibility in their preferences. I occasionally see something like "I'm really only interested in someone age ___ to age ___ but would consider someone outside that range if everything else is workable." The problem seems to be that some people have a negative knee-jerk reaction to a profile that lets them know they are not going to be a suitable prospect. It's as if the reader thinks the exclusionary clause in the profile was directed at them, personally -- which is probably never the case, as the profile writer doesn't even know that this particular reader exists. We need to stop taking it personally, and just respect people's preferences (as we would hope they would respect ours) and move on. For example, mine is late 20s - 30s. No specific age, but that's what works for me. Is that what will only work? Who knows. It will ultimately depend on the guy. But, what tends to happen is that I get men who are 10-20+ years older telling me that age is just a number. And super young guys telling me the same thing. Then they get mad when I tell them again what works best for me. You're right, though, it isn't personal. I wish more people would realize that. |
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Preferences are prejudices? Of course they are. You rule out a huge group of people, people totally unknown to you, for reasons you have decided upon. Call it what you like. It is your own set of prejudices that set your limits. You prejudge a person by ruling them out because you THINK chances are real good you won't like them, for whatever reason you have established. Nothing wrong with that. You know yourself better than anyone. You are no doubt saving some time. But it is prejudice all the same. It simply meets the definition. |
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I think it helps if they indicate whether or not there is any degree of flexibility in their preferences. I occasionally see something like "I'm really only interested in someone age ___ to age ___ but would consider someone outside that range if everything else is workable." The problem seems to be that some people have a negative knee-jerk reaction to a profile that lets them know they are not going to be a suitable prospect. It's as if the reader thinks the exclusionary clause in the profile was directed at them, personally -- which is probably never the case, as the profile writer doesn't even know that this particular reader exists. We need to stop taking it personally, and just respect people's preferences (as we would hope they would respect ours) and move on. For example, mine is late 20s - 30s. No specific age, but that's what works for me. Is that what will only work? Who knows. It will ultimately depend on the guy. But, what tends to happen is that I get men who are 10-20+ years older telling me that age is just a number. And super young guys telling me the same thing. Then they get mad when I tell them again what works best for me. You're right, though, it isn't personal. I wish more people would realize that. Apparently age is not just a number. I mean we have all these laws based on it. Retirement, driving age, drinking age, smoking, sex, etc |
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I always would respect a woman's profile preferences. One thing i will say is both men and women need to re-evaluate their stated preferences. Moral and ethical standards should always remain. However, outside of this we need to make sure we have reasonable preferences or we could cut ourselves short.
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If a person interests you then what does it hurt just to say hello the worse that could happen is you could make a friend. It's everyone's opinion if they want to pay attention to the preferences, as for me I will respect their preferences.
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I think for me I like to read who a woman is and see her likes and dislikes. If she states, "I don't do distance", or "No Southern boys with small pee pee's are acceptable", or a height requirement, then yeah...I may not pursue.
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i like to see the profile to see the likes an dislikes as well as the pictures but if they have a good profile its nice .always good to know where you stand before you talk to them. just my two cents lol
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