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| Topic: Hit and run or hit and quit..... | |
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My friend and I were discussing this concept and I would like to get some men's views on this anomaly but all are welcome.
A man (and women can do it too but for sake of this conversation I would like the mens side) spends sometimes weeks working on a woman, meetings, dinner, phone conversations, etc.... finally gets to the sex and completely disappears after..... Now he spent all that time making a connection with someone. Isn't it counter productive to burn the bridge he made? In case the sex isn't good, he can still talk to someone and not have sex with them again. So what is your take on it? I would appreciate all takes on it. |
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a man who invests time and effort to attract a woman is in it for the long haul, because he won't waste time and effort on a woman he won't stay with. if a man is out for the thrill of the chase he is not going to use a lot of time or effort per woman. i guess it could be some sort of ego boost to find woman that are willing to give so much of themselves, but once she gives everything she has to give, the thrill is gone.
personally, i have found that sex with any woman is the same, UNLESS emotions are involved. when a man loves a woman, sex becomes intimacy. i guarantee i guarantee that a man who becomes intimate with a woman is not going to hit it and quit it (bulldog double guarantee - patent pending) |
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I know I'm not a guy but if we spent the time together to get to know each other and then got to the sex and it was lousy... I always at least tell them look it has been good and your a good person but............it is just not there for me...
I don't remain friends with them afterwards as buddy buddy... If I was to run into them down the road I would be civil to them but I'm not going to keep past lovers as a best friend.... It does happen that some just disappear after sex the way I look at it, they are chicken chits for not at least letting the other know that things was not how they want it... But then some do it cause they are with someone else or just out for the sex only.... It is one answer that we will never totally understand... 
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Thanks Bulldog.
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Thanks Txs
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And too, if the sex isn't good, I always try to give it a second shot because first times are so awkward that it is usually not either persons best. Ya know?
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Edited by
kc0003
on
Sun 01/20/13 09:27 AM
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it's not counter productive if sex is the only thing he was there for in the first place.
in fact, it's the exact opposite. |
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And too, if the sex isn't good, I always try to give it a second shot because first times are so awkward that it is usually not either persons best. Ya know? Believe me only time I have only gave it one chance is when it really sucked normally go for it a second time just to make sure it was not as bad as I thought it was... But.....have found out when it is really bad it still is the second time as well...
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And too, if the sex isn't good, I always try to give it a second shot because first times are so awkward that it is usually not either persons best. Ya know? Believe me only time I have only gave it one chance is when it really sucked normally go for it a second time just to make sure it was not as bad as I thought it was... But.....have found out when it is really bad it still is the second time as well... Agreed. It is usually bad too the second time but I have had one exception and so glad that I did give it the second chance. 
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it's not counter productive if sex is the only thing he was there for in the first place. So it is just the conquest is what you are saying? Invest time and energy just for the notch in the belt? Isn't that still counterproductive though....you might get horny again and she/he might be game still??? |
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it's not counter productive if sex is the only thing he was there for in the first place. So it is just the conquest is what you are saying? Invest time and energy just for the notch in the belt? Isn't that still counterproductive though....you might get horny again and she/he might be game still??? if he is in it for just the sex and gets it, he has achieved his goal. he can walk away with little collateral damage (so to speak). if he continues with the sex he runs the risk of emotional connection, (either his or hers) which is what these type of ‘men’ most often try to avoid. |
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it's not counter productive if sex is the only thing he was there for in the first place. So it is just the conquest is what you are saying? Invest time and energy just for the notch in the belt? Isn't that still counterproductive though....you might get horny again and she/he might be game still??? if he is in it for just the sex and gets it, he has achieved his goal. he can walk away with little collateral damage (so to speak). if he continues with the sex he runs the risk of emotional connection, (either his or hers) which is what these type of ‘men’ most often try to avoid. I totally agree.... it is what it is and something that will never be understood... |
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My friend and I were discussing this concept and I would like to get some men's views on this anomaly but all are welcome. A man (and women can do it too but for sake of this conversation I would like the mens side) spends sometimes weeks working on a woman, meetings, dinner, phone conversations, etc.... finally gets to the sex and completely disappears after..... Now he spent all that time making a connection with someone. Isn't it counter productive to burn the bridge he made? In case the sex isn't good, he can still talk to someone and not have sex with them again. So what is your take on it? I would appreciate all takes on it. Well, the ending of the relationship may not be counter-productive from the man's perspective. If his goal was sexual conquest, then he may want to move on to another target after he has achieved his goal with that particular woman. |
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If I build a relationship with a woman and then have sex with her, it's too late, she's a keeper!
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If a dude knows he won't get sex right off the bat, and he truly wants to sleep with the woman, he will be patient. Now, he may only want sex. Or, he could have went in only wanting sex but found out more. In either case, unless he finds something more about her that makes him desire more with her, cutting ties won't be an issue. To be fair, there are chicks out there who do this too. But a guy will only stick around with a girl if he falls for her, or she just intrigues the hell out of him and he can't help but want to be with her.
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Now he spent all that time making a connection with someone. Isn't it counter productive to burn the bridge he made? In case the sex isn't good, he can still talk to someone and not have sex with them again. So what is your take on it? I would appreciate all takes on it. If the man is looking for a partner in "sex" then No he wouldn't want her for just a friend per say. He would probably move on til he gets the type of relationship he is really seeking. |
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a man who invests time and effort to attract a woman is in it for the long haul, because he won't waste time and effort on a woman he won't stay with. if a man is out for the thrill of the chase he is not going to use a lot of time or effort per woman. i guess it could be some sort of ego boost to find woman that are willing to give so much of themselves, but once she gives everything she has to give, the thrill is gone. personally, i have found that sex with any woman is the same, UNLESS emotions are involved. when a man loves a woman, sex becomes intimacy. i guarantee i guarantee that a man who becomes intimate with a woman is not going to hit it and quit it (bulldog double guarantee - patent pending) I would like to add that people (men included) have expectations that if not met also color a man's decision making process. If the sex is all that, well, if you give a mouse a cookie... HE IS GOING TO WANT MORE! If it is not all that he may decide to look for someone more fulfilling to him. Some guys float along on looks and have women throwing themselves at them. He can hit and split as long as his looks carry him! If you keep feeding the fat kid why should he look for work to feed himself? |
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Edited by
jacktrades
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Sun 01/20/13 02:31 PM
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If you were just looking for sex than why keep trying for weeks. If your engaging with someone for that amount of time you obviously are connecting with them.Why not see if it is the real thing. Sometimes the first sex is not what you thought because people are nervous, worried about their performance,or its been awhile.
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a man who invests time and effort to attract a woman is in it for the long haul, because he won't waste time and effort on a woman he won't stay with. if a man is out for the thrill of the chase he is not going to use a lot of time or effort per woman. i guess it could be some sort of ego boost to find woman that are willing to give so much of themselves, but once she gives everything she has to give, the thrill is gone. personally, i have found that sex with any woman is the same, UNLESS emotions are involved. when a man loves a woman, sex becomes intimacy. i guarantee i guarantee that a man who becomes intimate with a woman is not going to hit it and quit it (bulldog double guarantee - patent pending) Bulldog, YOU CAN'T PATENT THAT!!! - what I mean to say is GREAT POINT. Over the years as a servicemember, instructor, and damn-good wing man, I can say without a doubt that some guys get way more enjoyment out the pre-sex activites. What? = Catching their eyes, making them giggle, getting them to forsake something important for them, getting them to spend their money on them -> then the gushy-mushy and BOUNCE. I don't agree or disagree with it as it is what it is. I have done it, not really proud of it (not now anyway) and no longer/won't/can't do it. As a woman, all you can do is be cautious and live-n-learn. |
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My friend and I were discussing this concept and I would like to get some men's views on this anomaly but all are welcome. A man (and women can do it too but for sake of this conversation I would like the mens side) spends sometimes weeks working on a woman, meetings, dinner, phone conversations, etc.... finally gets to the sex and completely disappears after..... Now he spent all that time making a connection with someone. Isn't it counter productive to burn the bridge he made? In case the sex isn't good, he can still talk to someone and not have sex with them again. So what is your take on it? I would appreciate all takes on it. Weeks? Yes, very counter productive. I don't think any man would invest that much time and then disappear. IF all he wants is sex, it's not that hard to find. If she was a virgin I could see putting in that much (or more) time. But leaving her right after? Doesn't add up in my head. |
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