Several post have been deleted due to off topic and attacking... Please make sure your responses are pertained to the Topic and not at each other.

Site Mod
Kristi

couldn't have said it better...totally agreeing.

same here! i love behaviorism. but for this question to answer it is the wrong method.
you might have a point though! maybe a lot of people are broken, because they think they are. after all, our thoughts are shaping our reality!

Foster happiness: What pleases you?

When involved in things that please, one gains self confidence, reinforced sense of self/belonging, personal perspective and, with those, a desire to help others. I believe these combined equal happiness - or at the very least, contentment.

Maslow couldn't more agree with you!

This topic is so difficult, i have to wrap my head around it some more.!

From PyschCentral: 50 things we should say more often-


1. I am here for you.

2. Thank you. Thanks for all you do for me and all the ways in which you add value to my life.

3. You are beautiful. What I find most beautiful about you, inside and out, is: _____.

4. How are you? Truthfully, fully and completely—how are you, really?

5. Tell me about your dreams.

6. Tell me about your fears.

7. Tell me about your beliefs about life, love, the world, etc.

8. I am thinking about you.

9. I appreciate you.

10. I care about your feelings.

11. You are important to me.

12. I made a mistake and I’m sorry. I sincerely apologize. Please forgive me.

13. I value our relationship.

14. I am grateful and fortunate to have you in my life.

15. What can I do to support you?

16. How are you feeling about our relationship?

17. How are you feeling about me?

18. The qualities I love about you most are: _____.

19. I notice and really appreciate your efforts and growth in these areas: _____.

20. What’s most meaningful to me about our connection is: ______.

21. Great job! Nice work! Well done.

22. These are the ways in which you have touched my life and made me better: _____.

23. It’s an honor to know you and to be close to you.

24. I want the very best for you.

25. I cherish the following experiences we’ve shared: _______.

26. I trust you. I trust in our relationship.

27. I forgive you. I let go of my resentments.

28. These are all of the wonderful, positive qualities I see in you: _____.

29. Your greatest gifts and strengths are: _____.

30. I respect you.

31. I respect your decisions even though they’re different from mine or what I’ve recommended. You’re free to make your own choices.

32. I support you in any and every way that I can.

33. I believe in you.

34. I lovingly and trustingly give you the time and space you need.

35. You can achieve anything you want in life.

36. You are special. You are divinely and uniquely YOU.

37. You are free to be your authentic self in the context of our relationship.

38. I welcome you to be honest and truthful with me.

39. I desire to have/maintain an intimate and loving relationship with you.

40. You elicit the following positive emotions and feelings in me: _______.

41. You are not responsible for me, for my bad behaviors or my poor choices.

42. What would you like from me or from our relationship?

43. It’s not your fault. I don’t blame you.

44. I support you in taking care of yourself.

45. Your feelings are understandable and normal responses to everything you have been through.

46. I do not expect you to be perfect. I absolutely understand you are a human being and that none of us are perfect.

47. I acknowledge my areas of needed improvement including ABC, and am working on them by doing XYZ.

48. It’s important to me to know and understand you.

49. I come to you with an open heart and an open mind.

50. I love you fully, completely, and exactly as you are.

I stopped reading after #1.

me too.

It's often the case that you psychologists are more crazy than anyone
But I think Psychological abuse is possibly worse than physical abuse.

On a happier note, a simple ' I love you' possibly means more than a bunch of flowers.

So I'll go for words

How Lenny Bruce of you

1. Remember our main job as therapists is not to know all the answers, but to listen.

2. Some ideas:
Do you have any secret hurts? You know what I mean -- that place inside of you that aches for healing but never seems quite able to find it. If you're tracking with me, then you also know what it means to have someone trample all over that hurt, sometimes without even realizing it. And you have probably trampled right back or at least lashed out in some kind of "how-dare-you" kind of reaction.

The truth is that we have all endured hurt in our lives. Some suffer physically in ways unimaginable, while others suffer in less visible but no less hurtful ways. That we each have been hurt in the past is a virtual given. That most of us will endure even more hurt going forward seems highly predictable. That we need to trample back when trampled upon is NOT a given, however.

If you have ever trampled all over someone, either intentionally or unintentionally, and later regretted your actions, then perhaps you understand the value of forgiveness. Perhaps you have longed for the forgiveness of another and found that it wasn't forthcoming. On the other hand, you may have been forgiven but still can't let go of the regret.

If you still live with regret from any of your past actions, what you most need is not the forgiveness others might be able to offer; the only forgiveness that matters in the long run is self-forgiveness. Self-forgiveness stems from the realization that whatever you might have done, or even whatever the other person might have done, has less to do with the action itself, but more with the judgment you have placed against yourself for judging in the first place. Judging anyone, yourself included, is a source of great pain because judging denies the Divinity of both yourself and the other person.

Denying that anyone is Divine creates separation from the one experience we desperately seek, that of our own soul, of our own divinity. Your soul knows it is Divine just as it knows that all souls are Divine. Do Divine beings err? Well, probably not the soul, but as Teilhard de Chardin put it: We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Part of the human experience is to err.

That deep pain you have experienced in your life, the one that won't seem to let go, is anchored in having forgotten your Divinity and focusing instead on the part of you that has erred. Denial of your true source is easy enough to come by -- it's simply a byproduct of having a human experience in this world and losing sight of the ultimate truth that you are soul having that human experience.

Focusing on what happens in the day-to-day drumbeat of life on the planet makes it easy to lose sight that it is your soul having that human experience. The human side of experience often comes with a great deal of drama and noise, while the soul quietly moves through what happens with the equanimity that comes from knowing its true essence.

Whenever you return to your ultimate truth, to your self as soul, pain dissolves and peace takes its place. The peace that is restored is always with you. However, you may not always be present with your peace. Whenever you remove yourself from the reality of your soul, you step away from your peace. Stepping away automatically brings with it a sense of discomfort; persisting in the separation eventually becomes your source of pain. How could it be otherwise?

If your true essence is Divine and if your soul is naturally at peace, then doesn't it stand to reason that pain is a sign of having placed your focus someplace other than on who you truly are? Even if this seems a bit woo-woo to you, how about at least giving it some consideration the next time you find yourself in pain? After all, what have you got to lose? Other than your pain, that is.

If this makes even a modicum of sense to you, or if you are at least willing to give it a go, may I suggest that you explore the notion of what it means to be a soul having a human experience? If you're looking for a place to start, there are countless ways. You could simply cruise the GPS for the Soul page right here at HuffPost for ideas or try our meditation page.

If you're looking for something more specifically aligned with the kinds of ideas I have been sharing in this Soul-Talk series, you would do well to consider reading this amazing book by Drs. Ron and Mary Hulnick, Loyalty to Your Soul. Or you could start with this HuffPost blog of theirs on spiritual evolution.

You could start your spiritual exploration anywhere. The only wrong place to start is to not start at all.

Please do leave a comment here or drop me an email at Russell (at) russellbishop.com.

---

2. Thank you. Thanks for all you do for me and all the ways in which you add value to my life.

This reminds me of a song:


TRACY CHAPMAN LYRICS
Send "Baby Can I Hold You" Ringtone to your Mobile
"Baby Can I Hold You"

Sorry
Is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like sorry like sorry

Forgive me
Is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like forgive me forgive me

But you can say baby
Baby can I hold you tonight
Maybe if I told you the right words
At the right time you'd be mine

I love you
Is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like I love you I love you

That was an amazing text.

I have to go to work now. But be sure, i will respond, after i reading it again, and giving it some thought.

''We live and breathe words. .... It was books that made me feel that perhaps I was not completely alone. They could be honest with me, and I with them. Reading your words, what you wrote, how you were lonely sometimes and afraid, but always brave; the way you saw the world, its colors and textures and sounds, I felt--I felt the way you thought, hoped, felt, dreamt. I felt I was dreaming and thinking and feeling with you. I dreamed what you dreamed, wanted what you wanted--and then I realized that truly I just wanted you.''
Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

Words that some find offensive are simply part of our vernacular.

Stop giving them power. It were as if a poor man were to damn the stars because money did not affect others as seriously.

Words are powerful thus it has a great impact... It can make or break you.. however the intensity of its impact depends on how we perceive it.
Our country's history had its evident share on how powerful it is. A revolution had started with a use of it.

If you were a psychologist, you'd know that this is not true:
if somebody beats me up real bad, my body hurts but my emotions stay in tact.

As for the overweight girl, how do you think the bullying would take place?
You suggest it happens without words. Really?? As a psychologist, you ought to know how bullying works?

Recover from a broken soul? Never heard of anyone's soul breaking, not even sure that's possible. Sort of like asking "Can Source/God/Allah/All That Is die?"
Yes, the soul can get hurt, damaged, but to be honest I doubt whether serious damage to the soul is caused by anything in this physical life.

As for the question in the OP:
I go for words as well. Like Franky said: I love you can mean so much more than flowers.
The pen (word) is mightier than the sword.

finally somebody questioning.

first of all. it wasn't wrong, but wasn't right either.
On the emotional stability scale, i have a very high score. Therefore for me it was true. If you are emotional unstable, easy things can get to you. Some extreme example. Our both cats get run over, before our eyes. you probably would start crying, and your emotions would take over. As for me i wouldn't cry, nor would you see a lot of emotion, which doesn't mean i don't have them, it just means, i don't have them as forceful or strong than you have.


secondly bullying.

i thought i wrote, that the bad guy bullied the girl, with words, to make the point that even a total stranger can hurt you really bad, with just words.
and yes there are a lot of types of bullying. and not all of them as you might have suggested depend on verbal communication. :)

Third: the broken soul.

As for me i believe in the paradigm of cognitive neuroscience. Yes you are right, i do not believe in a soul, nor do i believe in god, i believe in nature.

I believe a that what we call soul, arises from millions � of neurons sending information. don't hate me for it, i won't say anything about religion either. :)

Well, if u still follow, i just gave the 'soul' a physical organ, the brain.
and know the real question, i would like to answer.

can words, hurt the brain as much, as a punch can hurt the liver?

i put in words, that everyone understands, without explaining. but i was wondering when somebody would start question things. :)

the impact of words greater than the impact of actual behavior??

My opinion;
Impact of words is greater if you are using them via Telephone.
But this also shows your behavior.

So over all , why would you separate those two?
They go hand in hand together.

As of your soul question;
You do not heal a soul in active life duty.
(Broken soul is some old folklore saying)

Have fun at your Psi classes :)