I have found that I am deemed undatable due to the following:

I smoke.

I'm a recovering addict.

I have no children.

I have not had a long term relationship.

These are just three of the factors that I have found to scare women off. Another reason is that I'm not like other men, which is what seems to attract women at first, but then throws them off eventually.

I personally do not see how any of the above really matters, but it seems to matter for some reason.

Get back on the wagon, wear a patch & off to get $$$ from the bank!

Problem solved.

And add to that declaring it all on a public forum.... keep ur chin up mate...

why would not having children be a negative factor in any relation? on the contrary

I can understand the recovering addict bit to be a problem. It will probably mean someone needs to get know you a bit better so she can find out if you're strong enough to not relapse, which is a risk with any addiction.

The LTR, depending on a guy's age, that would also make me feel a bit awkward. Normally speaking everybody has had a relationship at some point, so it would make me wonder what's wrong with him that he didn't have that?

No children can be a plus, again depending on the age of the man and that of the woman he's after. I would have to seriously think about seeing a guy who doesn't have children, because it means he cannot relate to being a parent. Parenthood adds a specific depth to a person.
Now if the woman is younger and still wants children, and a man with no 'baggage' from the past, it can be an asset. So it just depends. I don't think it's a given that it's a turnoff.

Most of all this depends on how you carry yourself, how you feel about yourself. Self-esteem, self-confidence etc. If you feel awkward about any of these things, the woman will pick up on this and probably will start to perceive the way you do.
Same with attracting women at first, then something making them leave. You gotta find out what that something is and work on that. Sounds like you got plural experiences with this, so it shouldn't be to hard to find out. Go back to the moments where the vibe changed and objectively look at what you did or said to cause that change.
Women could be drawn to you because they feel you need help. This is appealing at first, cos it fills a need they have themselves: helping and pampering!
However, the appeal of this wears off very fast.
Not saying this is what is going on with you, but I'd invest some time in 'analyzing'.
Good luck

The above are just excuses...Pay closer attention in the early stages...If this is a regular occurrence, the common denominator is you...Look to yourself for the reasons and find the solution....

how about 31 ?

I have relapsed but never in a relationship. After the the last incident, there's no chance that I will go back. I used to think that I was clean and sober in my relationships but realized I wasn't.

I have nieces and nephews and tend to date single mothers. I helped raise my oldest nephew who is a special needs child. I enjoy children and am good with them.

The reason for lack of Ltr is that I was using most of my life so that prevented me from getting too deep into relationships.

Maybe that is the reason women back off...Lack of experience?...Be candid with the women you date, ask them for guidance ...I would think some would find that refreshing, it beats the hell out of being jaded...

Agreed! I find it so difficult to meet men without children. That's a huge plus for some women!

You speak the truth! (About the difficulty finding men without kids.) Focus on the qualities the make you dateable.

Totage!
Nice to see you again :-)

I really do not see any impediments here toots :-)

I agree. Have to focus on flaunting your positives. Social creatures pick up on your negative vibe of self you are projecting. Think positive. There is only one you after all.

I don't think anything you listed is a relationship stopper.

Actually, you taking on and addressing a addiction in your life is a very commendable thing. A sign of character and determination. Both very good qualities in a person.


good luck

:-))

Wait! Did I hear this right....a lot I females think that having kids already....is a "good thing"....ok I know I've been out of the game for a while, but damn! When did this happen?

Nope, will not date a man with underage or overage children in his home any more. Lessons learned.

I'm undatable too. Never married, no kids, independent, intelligent, and 54 years old. However; at least I can enjoy life whether I date or not. I've learned to accept this and life is good.

Ok...that's sounds a little more realistic....I was really beginning to wonder...it can't be that easy.

I'm a big flirt... need i say more..lol

... but honestly if I'm in a relationship with someone.... they get all of my attention.... the flirting stops...

. it gets replaced with charm... I become this charming human being..
... that all your friends just love.. your sooo. lucky he's so charming.... and handsome.... where can I find myself one of them... does he have a brother.....ohhh... now I remember..
... I'm being self centered and egotistical.... yes it's all coming back to me now..lmao... and let's not forget .. confident....

.. I admire your honesty Op...

.. but why on earth would you go on a dating site... and point out your flaws..... that's a really bold move my friend...

...

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