Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: Women should be paid to get married.
joethebricky Joined Sat 08/04/12 Posts: 12740	Mon 04/27/15 05:03 PM
Its a sad day when marriage becomes about money

regularfeller Joined Sat 11/10/12 Posts: 2394	Mon 04/27/15 05:09 PM
What I want to know is why "Blondey111" has black hair.

Chazster Joined Tue 08/28/07 Posts: 6206	Mon 04/27/15 05:10 PM
Its a sad day when marriage becomes about money Well historically it was very often about money, or land, or building alliances.

Rock Joined Thu 10/09/08 Posts: 21250	Mon 04/27/15 05:16 PM
Can't say, that I've ever met one worth paying, for the privilege of supporting her. Though, I've met some that I offered to pay .. To leave.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 04/27/15 05:23 PM
when parents were paid for their daughters, they were considered 'property' ,certainly no say or power over the spending or anything else I prefer it where the funds from both are COMBINED in their own nest egg, and whichever is best at budgeting handle the money I do know couples where the husband gives the wife the check because she is better with money AND she does most of the errands that need done,, while he is stuck at a job,,, but I think that's only great if it works within that relationship

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Mon 04/27/15 05:26 PM
chaszter when u think about it, it ends up costing everybody money what with wedding expenses that are traditionally paid by the woman's family in our culture (to replace a dowry ostensibly). One way or another, it gets expensive, or so it seems anyway..... these days with people marrying a little later I notice couples sharing the wedding expense. Also I don't know if it is different in other parts of the country, but down south while the brides family pays for the wedding the grooms pays for the rehearsal dinner and the honeymoon. The expenses are typically shared yes. Or they can do like my wife and I did, just go to the courthouse. I don't see the point in paying thousands of dollars to throw a party for other people, but that is just me. I agree in large part but that's because I have been through it and it was far more stress than it was worth, but some women thrive on that type of "stress" - it's happy stress for them. I don;t think anyone should go broke trying to afford a wedding, but yeah, each to his or her own I guess

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Mon 04/27/15 05:35 PM
You've got to be kidding me. In most of the world the man provides and always has. Now the tables are turned and they don't want to do any chores. In every religion you will find the tradition was for the man to pay the bride or her family, because it is the man who provides and the bride's family who has lost some valuable domestic help. Now everywhere women are paying for marriage, and yet everywhere men don't want to do any chores. This is sad for women, even men are losing this way and don't know it I guess. Not in the west. Here a bride's family had a dowry and a trousseau that evolved into the bride's family paying for the wedding, in the USA anyway...that's always how it's been, but most people do not get too worked up about it. The man's family does not pay the brides family in the US Never have (quite the opposite), and many people here do not care about old wedding traditions anyway. For one thing here in my family anyway we tend not to value people as "lost domestic help" Instead we are less practical and think in terms of our family member's future happiness in joining the person they love. How those two divide up chores and expenses is between them. I do agree with you though, generally, that when income earning is shared, household duties should be also. Very few American households are single income families any more. Usually both work..and should be sharing chores.

dreamerana Joined Sat 09/21/13 Posts: 21544	Mon 04/27/15 06:05 PM
in the course of reading through now over 7 pages of this, one question enters my brain. if a person proclaims to be the sole provider, housekeeper, nurturing single parent to a toddler, without any help whatsoever in cleaning, cooking and caring for the child; where in the world does one find the time it takes to post a topic, quote others for rebuttals, cite sources.. questionable though they are, but sources nonetheless? Rock, my respects... it takes a big man to say there is a grain of truth to one of the sources.

regularfeller Joined Sat 11/10/12 Posts: 2394	Mon 04/27/15 06:15 PM
What I want to know is why "Blondey111" has black hair. shhhh .. laughing its a tactical ploy .. Blondes have more fun .. Atleast that is what the twenty year old men think :-) Just wondering...thought you might be a natural blonde and using the black dye as "artificial intelligence"

regularfeller Joined Sat 11/10/12 Posts: 2394	Mon 04/27/15 06:16 PM
^^intended to be humorous, not derogatory.

ciretom Joined Wed 06/18/14 Posts: 4953	Mon 04/27/15 06:23 PM
Women should be paid to get married This isn't a well thought out idea. At least for westernized societies and cultures. There are tax and enforcement issues. How to practically apply this "should" behavior. It will never be a self policing issue in society. People don't save for retirement now, why would they save for marriage when they can get laid, have kids, and not take care of them for free now. In many cultures a woman's parents were paid to seal the marriage deal In many cultures the genitals and/or body are mutilated. Many cultures do all kinds of things. Just because "many cultures" does something it doesn't mean it's "right" or even "good" beyond that particular culture. shouldn't women be paid today for this marriage deal? No more than men should be paid. Most marriages that end in divorce are over money That's not really true. Most marriages that end in divorce due so for many reasons. Of the many reasons people give for a divorce (infidelity, arguing, lack of commitment, lack of domestic help, pressure from family and friends, unrealistic expectations, abuse, and so many more) "arguing about money" is a reason that is one of the many other reasons that is consistent among those surveyed. But also just as consistent is lack of commitment, too much fighting in general, and cheating. The only time people may choose 1 reason why the divorce failed is because the paperwork/surveys they fill out may read "pick one of the following reasons for divorce." Germany and many Eastern European countries used to pay women Notice the term "used to." It ended for a reason. why is it women still do and are expected by men and society to do the housework and childcare for free Expectations don't really matter when there is a cultural/societal framework making adherence to those expectations purely the choice of the individual according to their own prerogative without any real consequences for not living up to those expectations.

Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48914	Mon 04/27/15 07:35 PM
It appears to me that the OP is presenting a rather twisted view of what marriage is all about.

Goofball73 Joined Mon 11/05/07 Posts: 33913	Mon 04/27/15 09:25 PM
Estelle just presents different views and all. At least her topics aren't another in a gazillion of "LDR" or "Nice guy" threads.

Pansytilly Joined Mon 06/09/14 Posts: 11310	Mon 04/27/15 09:34 PM
Estelle just presents different views and all. At least her topics aren't another in a gazillion of "LDR" or "Nice guy" threads. certainly different and surprising...

devildog123 Joined Mon 09/08/14 Posts: 3902	Mon 04/27/15 10:24 PM
its like watching " Fantasy Island".. But even Ricardo Montalban would have waved this plane off

Estelle79 Joined Thu 09/11/14 Posts: 1452	Mon 04/27/15 10:44 PM
Being a mother is no longer an excuse not to work . Sure perhaps when the child is young I can understand the desire to stay home but once they reach school age there is nothing stopping mums from working . .. Even if it is part-time . Perhaps when you start earning your own money estelle you will understand the value of what men do for the family and appreciate those efforts :-) Why do you think you know if I work, worked or will work? because you live in turkey lmao .. you have a young child .. And you have old fashioned views of marriage . Do you work . Have you ever worked Because women in Turkey don't work? http://www.wunrn.com/news/2015/02_15/02_16/021615_turkey.htm]http://www.wunrn.com/news/2015/02_15/02_16/021615_turkey.htm Growing local outrage The measures have sparked outrage in the country, with women organizations, labour unions and employer associations denouncing the package. Women organizations claim the goal behind the campaign is to keep women at home, remove them from economic and social life and allow them just to bear children, charged Zülfikar Doğan, a commentator on Al Monitor. Everywhere you go in Turkey women work, banks, grocery stores, government offices, policemen, teachers, lawyers, prime ministers even, so go do some more research. I am not interested in everyone else as I am sure they so not necessarily share your opinion about money . I am interested in you . Your profile says under occupation that you are a mother .. So estelle are you a stay at home mum or do you have employment outside the home for which you pay taxes . That wasn't a reply to your quote if you read it, it was a reply to someone else. Being a mom is an occupation. You are very disrespectful about that, maybe if you have a child one day you will understand how much work it is compared to your career. Whatever other jobs I do, I don't call it my occupation because for me being a mom is more important than any other job I've ever done or will ever do.

Estelle79 Joined Thu 09/11/14 Posts: 1452	Mon 04/27/15 10:49 PM
in the course of reading through now over 7 pages of this, one question enters my brain. if a person proclaims to be the sole provider, housekeeper, nurturing single parent to a toddler, without any help whatsoever in cleaning, cooking and caring for the child; where in the world does one find the time it takes to post a topic, quote others for rebuttals, cite sources.. questionable though they are, but sources nonetheless? Rock, my respects... it takes a big man to say there is a grain of truth to one of the sources. Well, I don't sleep much.

no1phD Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 27442	Mon 04/27/15 11:14 PM
shovels.. another handful of popcorn into his gob..... munch munch.. this is munch munch.. like watching munch munch... tennis.... .. Picks up his oversized drink and takes a sip....mmmmm.. refreshing.. .

SitkaRains Joined Thu 10/09/08 Posts: 17228	Mon 04/27/15 11:16 PM
shovels.. another handful of popcorn into his gob..... munch munch.. this is munch munch.. like watching munch munch... tennis.... .. Picks up his oversized drink and takes a sip....mmmmm.. refreshing.. . Do you ever eat anything but popcorn how about a snickers bar..???

Pinkbunny43 Joined Sun 05/12/13 Posts: 26547	Mon 04/27/15 11:17 PM
Is popcorn good for you when you're sick?