Topic: Open Relationships VS. Monogamy...Whats your take?
no photo
Mon 08/03/15 04:18 AM
Edited by debbie1980 on Mon 08/03/15 04:21 AM

Crystal, you are encouraging cheating, even if it may be few and far between, as something normal. But when you share your body with another person, a piece of your soul goes with them, too, the piece that should have stayed with your steady partner. You are presenting an interesting, alternate reality to the mainstream thinking and behavior but remember it is not that simple. There are feelings, consequences and complicated bodily rhythms that get wrapped up in our sexual acts, especially when those acts are outside and in addition to the steady relationship. It is called playing with fire.


excellent post and I fully agree.

when emotions are involved its always playing with fire. :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 08/03/15 11:25 AM

I did say I cant leave a full reply now, it was very late.


I really wont bother now. slaphead

Hahaha, two Tauruses butting heads. But like I said, to each their own. It is a difficult issue. I ain't sure I can do it myself, depends on the relationship. There'd have to be 100% trust, not a sliver of doubt as to him being committed to me and the relationship. Deep down I'd really want to, as it means freedom, freedom of fear, insecurity etc etc. But not sure if my ego can handle that yet, also not sure if I'd get there this life.
Anywho, no hard feelings as far as I'm concerned, hope you feel the same way.
flowerforyou

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 08/03/15 11:36 AM

Crystal, you are encouraging cheating, even if it may be few and far between, as something normal. But when you share your body with another person, a piece of your soul goes with them, too, the piece that should have stayed with your steady partner. You are presenting an interesting, alternate reality to the mainstream thinking and behavior but remember it is not that simple. There are feelings, consequences and complicated bodily rhythms that get wrapped up in our sexual acts, especially when those acts are outside and in addition to the steady relationship. It is called playing with fire.

No, I am not... and it isn't cheating when you're having an open relationship. My soul doesn't belong to my steady partner. Do you know many ppl suffer from all kinds of chit in this life because they made 'soul' vows in a previous life? I am very very cautious concerning that kind of stuff. Like people vowing to stay together now and forever and ever. So not smart... Most people don't realise what they're vowing to and that on a soul level it may not be what's best.
Part of your energy, yes. But part of your energy will remain with everyone you've been in contact with. Not just the ones you've been intimate with. That's why you should regularly cut those energetic cords to cleanse your energy system.

It is indeed not simple, as all it really requires is living from the heart and love, not from fear, ego and the head. And that is one of the most difficult things for us humans to achieve.

TMommy's photo
Mon 08/03/15 11:56 AM
interesting perspective Crystal and not one I have heard before..from a woman anyways..not that I agree well, I do agree that we leave behind a part of ourselves with all those with whom we have had meaningful relationships with be it family, lovers or friends happy

no photo
Mon 08/03/15 02:14 PM
Sexual intimacy with someone does not equate to the same level of "energy" as others. It's on a deeper spiritual level, whether people realize it or not. There is much damage caused when people fail to respect these feelings and bonds.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 08/03/15 04:34 PM
We gonna have a spiritual debate now? :tongue:
Why would sharing intimacy with another than your steady partner mean there's no respect for feelings and bonds? It is all about respect, otherwise it wouldn't work.
Cheating on the other hand side, which is something monogamous people tend to do, holds no respect. And yes, that may indeed be very damaging. If you tell your partner you're going to be monogamous, never look at another woman/man, never ache or long for another, then end up doing so regardless, yes, very painful. And damaging. And everyone does at least drool over another than their own partner at some point, because monogamy is just BS. Not natural.
Which again raises the question if monogamy is doable and healthy.

As for the deeper spiritual bond with someone you've been intimate with, what's the point? This might be a problem in a monogamous relationship, not in a non-monogamous one.
If you believe in love, live love, what's wrong with sharing love and a tiny bit of yourself, with someone else? Nothing much, just that our egos can't handle it, and society still judges it.

no photo
Mon 08/03/15 06:03 PM
I already explained all that. You give away a piece of yourself in every intimate encounter, not to mention all the damaging consequences which can arise with treating intimate encounters as casual. If you mentally choose to treat an intimate encounter as casual, you are still subconsciously affected whether you choose to accept it or not. That's how people enter into NSA and FWB encounters and someone inevitably develops feelings and ends up getting hurt and irreparably damaged in some cases. You are discounting that you cannot control the feelings and emotions and attachments that can arise unintentionally when people enter into these arrangements, as if you can turn off your heart and soul as long as mentally you are prepared for a casual fling. Things have a way of getting dicey when you play with fire. Humans are complex beings and the head doesn't always rule the heart, although we would like it to.

no photo
Mon 08/03/15 06:05 PM
When you have your heart broken because you weren't able to separate the heart from the mind, Crystal, then you will remember my words.

amor0224's photo
Mon 08/03/15 06:46 PM
i'm for 100% monogamy relationship. harmonious and loving relationship is built with loyalty, respect and trust.. the giving of oneself is sacred and should be done only with the person you love and not just for the sake of thrill and excitement.

no photo
Mon 08/03/15 09:33 PM

i'm for 100% monogamy relationship. harmonious and loving relationship is built with loyalty, respect and trust.. the giving of oneself is sacred and should be done only with the person you love and not just for the sake of thrill and excitement.


You understand. Thank you. :thumbsup:

no1phD's photo
Mon 08/03/15 09:50 PM
All I can say is if my woman does not like vanilla ice cream should I stop eating vanilla ice cream for my entire life... a big no.:angel:

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Tue 08/04/15 02:17 AM

I already explained all that. You give away a piece of yourself in every intimate encounter, not to mention all the damaging consequences which can arise with treating intimate encounters as casual. If you mentally choose to treat an intimate encounter as casual, you are still subconsciously affected whether you choose to accept it or not. That's how people enter into NSA and FWB encounters and someone inevitably develops feelings and ends up getting hurt and irreparably damaged in some cases. You are discounting that you cannot control the feelings and emotions and attachments that can arise unintentionally when people enter into these arrangements, as if you can turn off your heart and soul as long as mentally you are prepared for a casual fling. Things have a way of getting dicey when you play with fire. Humans are complex beings and the head doesn't always rule the heart, although we would like it to.

We're not talking about the same thing. You've latched onto something that I'm not talking about.
You're talking about casual, just sexual & lust related stuff. I agree that can be one form of non-monogamous relationship, but that's not what I mean, and have explained to great length.
So I'm going to leave it at this ...
flowerforyou

no photo
Tue 08/04/15 03:12 AM
I really have got nothing more to say on this subject other than to me monogamy IS healthy and natural.

brianmatthew1971's photo
Tue 08/04/15 03:13 AM
That's very true.

no photo
Tue 08/04/15 03:20 AM

That's very true.


:thumbsup: :thumbsup: flowerforyou

no photo
Tue 08/04/15 05:50 AM
I haven't latched on to anything, Crystal. We all understood you quite perfectly.

no photo
Tue 08/04/15 08:29 AM

We all understood you quite perfectly.


this^^^^

2Fly4Wings38's photo
Tue 08/04/15 12:15 PM
NorCalSwe,

it sound like you have a very good relationship with your Ms. good for you my friend.

MelMaxx's photo
Tue 08/04/15 01:11 PM
Edited by MelMaxx on Tue 08/04/15 01:18 PM
Monogamy is the natural and only way for This Gal.
...fyi, I am not brainwashed and neither was He.

Also, I have to say that people CAN make a vow to another and KEEP that vow. It's all in whether you want to or not...simple as that. IMO

no photo
Tue 08/04/15 07:07 PM
Guys need to be open and honest if they like to swing both ways .. That's been my experiences with my relationships and that's why I'm single again ..