Men have been smoking the snake ever since... although women did add the invention of the BBQ rub ...

I want to clarify that when I used the phrase "gender neutral" I was referring to evolving societal perceptions about gender roles.

Example: A woman gets home after banging in nails all day. As she's unbuckling her tool apron, she see's her man in the kitchen wearing his "kiss the cook" apron... and a smile. When the works done and the aprons come off, he still want's to hammer her, and she still wants to have a bun in her oven.

What are some of my qualities, that I'm most confident about offering to share with a compatible lover/life partner?

*I approach most situations analytically & logically.
*I strive to have the patience and restraint to respond, rather than react.
*I've developed & excel with physical skills traditionally considered masculine. When something doesn't work, I'm good at figuring out why, and fixing it. Sometimes physically, sometimes theoretically.
*I'm creative - artistically & practically.
*I love learning and try to keep an opened mind while not over compromising my principals.

I'm not focusing on single words ... For instance... it's simply a masculine thing to not share detailed personal / emotional stuff with friends, like sexual 'secrets'. Like it is a typical feminine thing to do that, because we need that to digest things. It's how we're wired.
So when a man is not sharing stuff with his friends, he's not doing us a special favour, he's just being himself. A man. It's his nature to not share that stuff.
So that is about the bigger picture, the differences between men & women and how they're wired. It has nothing to do with focusing on single words.

This makes no sense... you share private sexual intimate things with the friend committee to digest them?

I'm sorry but it's false that all women are "wired" this way... I guess it explains the high rate of infidelity with some womens "friends"

They're the ones planting the seed

Burn it ... just burn it !!! *laughing.

Nice! You were one of the few guys that answered that portion of the question so maybe you are thorough as well? I can see why you are proud about what you bring to the relationship table . Very admirable indeed!

I'm not focusing on single words ... For instance... it's simply a masculine thing to not share detailed personal / emotional stuff with friends, like sexual 'secrets'. Like it is a typical feminine thing to do that, because we need that to digest things. It's how we're wired.
So when a man is not sharing stuff with his friends, he's not doing us a special favour, he's just being himself. A man. It's his nature to not share that stuff.
So that is about the bigger picture, the differences between men & women and how they're wired. It has nothing to do with focusing :


Actually many of the contributions made by both genders arent favours/ services . They are more in the category of innate qualities .which was included in my question as well. And i totally get what you are saying

I'm sorry. I am not understanding your counter-point to crystal fairy's point. Can you explain it to me? I promise you that I'm not being sarcastic. I am genuinely confused.

EROTIdoug earlier in this conversation thread talked about his contribution as a single dad and i told him that single dads were a special category of men ,but i was speaking about men generally. Is it that you are saying that men in general . But now that u have brought it up again, i am asking you and erotidoug in particular... do you think that you as a man make a special contribution to parenting that woman can not substitute? I know it sounds like a dumb question on the surface... BUT... there are single mothers who have been arguing that they can parent their sons in particular just as competently as if a father was around. I disagree whole heartedly on this. Not many men have commented seriously in this thread but i.would be so excited to hear their views on this! I am keeping my fingers crossed!

It's wasn't meant as a counter-point, just an observation

I never quite understood why Women would share private intimate details with their friends "the committee"? to be honest, I'm a little confused myself about the "digestion" comment about the intimate material shared.

It's ok to bounce stuff off your mates, don't get me wrong but this is no way a genetic reason that women share intimate details, you(Ladies) are not "wired" like that at all.

Finally, sharing these details could peek sexual interest in the female friend and that could lead to infidelity. Could you imagine if us guys told each other over beers that our women puck like minks?

Didn't want to highjack your thread Peggy I'll remove myself now and avoid all this confusion.

You may not know this John, but sexual secrets are not the only pieces of information women share with each other. We talk about how big our azzes have expanded, that strange mole that mysteriously showed up on our 'whatevers', the argument we had with our kid over her nipple-piercing... Women talk to their friends about EVERYTHING! It is how women bond . We are not saying it is right or wrong, but it's what most women are inclined to do. And as for your point about it leading to infidelity, I agree with you that it is unwise for a man or woman to be sharing intimate details involving their mate to a friend of the opposite sex. It is flirting with danger and I don't advise it... But that is just one of many unwise practices that both genders OFTEN engage in, which sometimes create ripe conditions for fidelity... Staying back at the office late habitually with your colleague of the opposite sex,( when everyone else has left), flirting with "friends" online behind your mates back, frequently giving someone of the opposite sex a lift home at night when there is no one else in the car ... or at their house. Both genders are guilty of these practices and these actions have historically been the jumping point for several affairs. Could it be that you may have had some individual experiences that have shaped your view of this subject? Are you sure that it applies to women in a more general sense? I was glad to hear your take on the matter. I hope you are open to hearing a different view as well

Not at all, being a private person in general, it irks me that my S.O. would blab intimate details about me when I'm not present, maybe other guys couldn't care less? No clue!

If women want to bond by talking about a newly arrived pimple on their azz that's their choice...
Talking about my famous impression of a "helicopter" as I step out of the shower is just plain weird

Helping her see herself through my eyes.
So she is reminded, every day, what a wonderful, beautiful, loving, and loved gem she really is.
Plus..
I'm great at fixing shyt.

I hear you. On a related note, i have a brother, and on many occasions when he and his friends got together, the hot topic was often about the girl they slept with the night before. What one of my buddies told me is that the guy code upholds the sacredness of intimate details between men and their wives/serious girlfriends, but sanctions the public airing of intimate encounters with casual dates. Don't americans have a term for male gossip? - "Locker room talk"? Or something like that? I don't wanna fall into the trap of reproaching any gender for indiscretions that are common to both sexes. Anyway.. I didn't post this topic as a catalyst for bashing men. . It was actually intended to extol the contributions of males in a society that fails to give them the credit they deserve in theirromantic /domestic lives.

That's pretty accurate yup, it's silent respect for your SO

I like to think we've evolved from the "locker room talk" days?

Or it might be a defense strategy against our buddies, those horny bastids all wanted to bang my girlfriends back then lol

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3654216/


# 1. Adventure / Females have empathy
Males have the empathy with an over abundance of instant action “vicarious”.
* An example is a car stopped on the highway road shoulder / who stops to help? (males)
The unplanned reactive adventure, only a man can bring into a relationship. This vicarious is both good and bad. Giving women, good adventures and bad adventures. But it is an adventure

# 2. Ability / Knowing the depth of your strength and weakness, she still has confidence in your abilities. We men love to brag of our strengths and marketing helps to provide with “man cars”. Fear, hesitation and such show the weakness in our abilities. We carry this weakness very deeply, or would not be able to function. This is why men hate to open-up, it would bring into question our ability.

I had a lot of answers to give, but couldn't articulate them very well. I was deleting a lot because I think men are very important but couldn't really explain why I feel that way. I want men in my life and I enjoy them.

Let's hope that we are ALL evolving lol. No gender should be exempted from that process