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Topic: So if you're such a great catch ...
SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Wed 05/04/16 01:45 PM
Everyone on dating sites say they're are funny, good company, sociable, good listeners/conversationalists, respectful, bladiblablar.

If you truly are all that, then why do you (have to) resort to dating sites to find dates/a partner?
Why can't you find one in real life? Or do you?

Just wondering if it's a myth that you only find "left-overs" online. I don't really believe that myth myself ...
But still ... if you are truly such a great catch ... men/women should be falling at your feet? So what the heck are you doing here?

-Do people not socialize enough anymore to find someone in real life?
-Are their practical reasons?
-Or are many ppl on dating sites "leftovers" after all?

*Not getting at Mingle per say, so "I'm here for the forums" is not what I'm interested in, lol*

Beachfarmer's photo
Wed 05/04/16 02:23 PM
Perhaps just what "I've" noticed.....but I seem to see more hook-ups from people who actually ARE just here for the forums. The ones who just rip it up and be themselves with a lack of any agenda or desperation tend to shine.

Also the people I find hilarious here; I've never read the phrase, "I have a great sense of humor" from them. They just ARE funny.

mightymoe's photo
Wed 05/04/16 02:43 PM

Hi My name is marylinfreya
I am a senior banker in ISLAMIC BANK OF BRITAIN PLC UNITED KINGDOM(IBB) It pleases me to say hi after going through your profile,i seek for a true friend and honest partner, please if you don't mind i will like you to contact me to my email ID (marylinfreya7@gmail.com) i have something very important to share with you and i will tell you all you need to know about me and send you my pictures (marylinfreya7@gmail.com)


14 posts and all exactly alike...

mightymoe's photo
Wed 05/04/16 02:44 PM

Everyone on dating sites say they're are funny, good company, sociable, good listeners/conversationalists, respectful, bladiblablar.

If you truly are all that, then why do you (have to) resort to dating sites to find dates/a partner?
Why can't you find one in real life? Or do you?

Just wondering if it's a myth that you only find "left-overs" online. I don't really believe that myth myself ...
But still ... if you are truly such a great catch ... men/women should be falling at your feet? So what the heck are you doing here?

-Do people not socialize enough anymore to find someone in real life?
-Are their practical reasons?
-Or are many ppl on dating sites "leftovers" after all?

*Not getting at Mingle per say, so "I'm here for the forums" is not what I'm interested in, lol*


mine says none of those things...

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Wed 05/04/16 02:45 PM
Ummmm..

Doesn't the fact that someone isn't currently in a relationship, but is open to one, mean that they are a "left over?"

No matter where you see them?

PacificStar48's photo
Wed 05/04/16 02:56 PM

Everyone on dating sites say they're are funny, good company, sociable, good listeners/conversationalists, respectful, bladiblablar.

If you truly are all that, then why do you (have to) resort to dating sites to find dates/a partner?

biggrin I don't see using dating sites as "resorting". Well sometimes it is kind of a "resort"; the games, jokes, and poems are kind of relaxing. The forums are interesting and sometimes funny.


Why can't you find one in real life?

biggrin I thik just about everybody can and Mingle is just supplement. I can and often do date from real life. If I am a little reserved about someone I give them my Mingle addy and get to know them better here and decide if I want to actually go out.

Or do you?

Just wondering if it's a myth that you only find "left-overs" online.

biggrin Actually I think there are some very desirable and selective people on line. The competition and selection process sis sometimes feirce but they are here. But yea there are some real duds too.

I don't really believe that myth myself ... biggrin Doesn't surprise me.

But still ... if you are truly such a great catch ... men/women should be falling at your feet?

biggrin I don't think in today's world that anyone is falling at anyone's feet now days. Even younger folks and those with disadvantages have their criteria.

So what the heck are you doing here?

Cheap secure email, great supplement to slow work days as a caregiver or boring TV, entertaining, fun to read the scammer mail, improved my typing speed, another dating tool.

-Do people not socialize enough anymore to find someone in real life?

biggrin I think the cost of socializing versus how little pay has gone up has really hurt the dating scene. Now you can have a food, movie, and wine at home, even delivered, it makes going out less appealing. Least if you are on line and are rejected you don't even have to get out of the chair to move on to the next person.

-Are their practical reasons?

biggrin See above and the fact on line conversations make the weeding out process much easier. And if you reject someone they are much less likely to make a scene about it because no one else knows about it.

-Or are many ppl on dating sites "leftovers" after all?

biggrin I think more often it is if someone stays on line is because they want to have the "attention/conversation" and really don't find being single that offensive. You get spoiled fast being single. You really give up very little once you get a certain age.

*Not getting at Mingle per say, so "I'm here for the forums" is not what I'm interested in, lol*

ErotiDoug's photo
Wed 05/04/16 02:58 PM
Edited by ErotiDoug on Wed 05/04/16 03:05 PM
**haha!

* Just got back from shopping and saw your post. laugh
* My boys gave me heck for keeping them waiting half hour.

** Michelle was busy picking me up and we got to know each other a little bit. She's on-call temp at the store and the other stores the chain has around our city. Every day or two she has to drive to a different store.
* She put her e-mail into my "date book wallet" under "Projects" section haha!. I have to carry a such a large thing because of kids ids and all the stuff.
** I did tell her I'm on a date site but mostly in the Forums area and about the fun I have there. Yes I did tell her it was Mingle2 and she could get lots of great guys. Yes, I told her also that I get a lot of "Panthers" haha! (what are they?) so I explained . haha!
** She help me shop as we yakked. Yah! Michelle is a Panther haha!
** I will e-mail her later mmm 9 ish . If I don't she will be very cheesed and give me hell some day haha!

** I really am a lot better (more fun) in "real life" then online !

* I enjoy meeting people / fun life

:banana: :banana: :banana:




Note: " Michelle was busy picking me up" as in Hi, big smiles, getting very close, touching me, blushing, offered e-mail.
Smiles , play nice, grumble laugh laugh laugh

SitkaRains's photo
Wed 05/04/16 03:52 PM

Everyone on dating sites say they're are funny, good company, sociable, good listeners/conversationalists, respectful, bladiblablar.

My actions on the forums absolutely show I am respectful.. I haven't ever said any of those other things. lol

If you truly are all that, then why do you (have to) resort to dating sites to find dates/a partner?
Why can't you find one in real life? Or do you?


I don't make claims of what I am.. I figure as in real life and online a person can figure that out for themselves what I am or they can actually ask me something they would like to know

Just wondering if it's a myth that you only find "left-overs" online. I don't really believe that myth myself ...
But still ... if you are truly such a great catch ... men/women should be falling at your feet? So what the heck are you doing here?

-Do people not socialize enough anymore to find someone in real life?
-Are their practical reasons?
-Or are many ppl on dating sites "leftovers" after all?

*Not getting at Mingle per say, so "I'm here for the forums" is not what I'm interested in, lol*



Well I guess I am someone's leftovers that is just life. OR AS I prefer to think of myself I am going to one hell of a prize to someone as they are going to be for me.. The claims I can make about myself are things I know to be a fact..

1. When I choose to go for it I am all in.
.
2. I will give everything I have to the relationship an usually more than I knew I was capable of.

3. I am loyal beyond a doubt. I don't question or doubt who I am with when I choose to give that trust I give all of me, I don't question it once it is given.

4. I also know I am not a boring person since I have such a diverse interest in life. I am adaptable.

5. I will "always look at issues from their side as much as I will look at my side" I will always look for compromise so both can win.

6. I have been told by many I have a sexy voice so I "do" consider my voice as an asset.

I do socialize in the real world I have a wealth of friends that I treasure yet I am not into the bar scene or a lot of social places where singles meet and most at my age are married or so battle scarred I tend to shy away a bit. I also am a person that wants to know the other person before I leap.
I am also a person that isn't into casual sex so my options are few...

Why am I here I love the forums.. and the wonderful people I have met and the wonderful people I will meet.




motowndowntown's photo
Wed 05/04/16 04:48 PM
Aaaahhhh, fess up folks, we are on here because we're all a bunch of geeks and losers who have no lives and nothing better to do than sit in front of a computer.

no photo
Wed 05/04/16 05:01 PM
Well, I don't think of myself as a great catch. I am a good catch for a certain group of men and I have an idea of men I am interested in. I live in a small town so I am expanding my horizons to find someone to connect with.

no photo
Wed 05/04/16 05:09 PM
Everyone on dating sites say they're are funny, good company, sociable, good listeners/conversationalists, respectful, bladiblablar.

Way back when there was newspaper and magazine dating sections where people were restricted by space or how many letters they could afford people had to concisely describe themselves in as positive a way as possible to be as attractive to as many people as possible.

People then went to the internet and brought that style with them.
And now it's just perpetuated.

Those people that are "everyone on dating sites say..." aren't taking a lot of time to think about what they're writing, they're just trying to get the quickest thing out there that conveys the most generally attractive qualities as possible to get the most amount of responses.

If you truly are all that, then why do you (have to) resort to dating sites to find dates/a partner?

This seems to be like asking "if Mercedes' are such great cars, why do they have to resort to advertising?"

Just wondering if it's a myth that you only find "left-overs" online.

I think when you're over 30, 40, 50, 60, and you've been actively using online dating sites for 10, 20 years, then you can probably start considering you are either a "left-over" or you don't really want to be in a long term relationship.

if you are truly such a great catch ... men/women should be falling at your feet? So what the heck are you doing here?

Maybe the "right one" isn't falling at their feet.
Maybe people fall at their feet every day.
Maybe the people that fall at their feet are a certain type or "quality." But they're all the unwanted kind.
Maybe they've had so many "unwanted kind" falling at their feet those are the only kind they can really identify anymore.

They've acclimated to the ease by which they spot the "unwanted kind."
They may have the "right one" fall at their feet but since they don't really act the same as the "unwanted kind" their behavior is not understood.
Eventually, day after day after day of the "unwanted kind" falling for them they are going to go somewhere to 1. get away from them, 2. try a new venue to find the "right one."

If a million people come up and slap you and steal your money for every 1 person that comes up and ignores you as their way to communicate wanting to give you money, you're going to spend more time and learn to spot those that are going to hurt you, not give you stuff.
And eventually, you'll move and look for a place where people aren't slapping you.

Not to mention, one thing that isn't ever mentioned in this stuff ("funny, good company, sociable, good listeners/conversationalists, respectful, bladiblablar") is "highly capable in making good dating decisions and identifying the ideal partner."

-Do people not socialize enough anymore to find someone in real life?

The internet is just becoming "real life."
There is less disconnect.
There's less "live my life la dee da, then go home and sit on a desk top for too long oh no it's detracting from what I really want and should do, I have to disconnect, wake up and go back to my real life tomorrow, and then come back to my second world."
Internet is incorporating into basic social interaction and fulfilling what people want and should do in their daily life.
Some people treat it as a second existence. To more and more it's just real life.

-Are their practical reasons?

There are always practical reasons not to do something.

-Or are many ppl on dating sites "leftovers" after all?

IMO yes, if you're referring to something more like "bottom of the barrel" or the "dregs."
Online dating sites are no different than the corner bar.
Eventually, over time, it's mostly just the bar flies and alcoholics, and neighborhood regulars.
The "new meat" want the shiny new dance club that is catering to them.



jacktrades's photo
Wed 05/04/16 05:22 PM
Edited by jacktrades on Wed 05/04/16 05:23 PM
I don't look at myself like I am a good catch for most women,but I could be for the right woman if there was a connection,and she would take the time to really know me.

adivorcedone's photo
Wed 05/04/16 05:52 PM
I dont consider my self as a left over.....though, maybe a little....but I consider myself much more experienced and wiser.And the forums are where love and romance can be found...just like that....Oh! I can see where there are hooks up being pondered, connections being pursued, relationships actually being explored and must not forget....the alliances being formed....all-Star partnerships, if you will.....especially for the "Guys and Dolls game" ....Yup, .....its true.....just take a gander at the count they have racked up...???

TMommy's photo
Wed 05/04/16 05:54 PM
ummmm ya I'm hiding out bigsmile

Robxbox73's photo
Wed 05/04/16 07:15 PM

Aaaahhhh, fess up folks, we are on here because we're all a bunch of geeks and losers who have no lives and nothing better to do than sit in front of a computer.


A complete fabrication,,,,,, I sit in front of a phone.... check pls...

Jimmy_roy's photo
Wed 05/04/16 07:38 PM
Ah..why online dating when you can find love by meeting people in real life..there is a history behind this and many reasons which makes it attractive. Sometimes it is because -
1. It is like a blind date but you know alot about the person beforehand.
2. You get a wider range of choices to choose from.
3. Too much busy with work and no social life.
4. You are comfortable to meet people on your computer rather than real life.
5. You feel it is a safe choice.

etc etc.....

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Thu 05/05/16 03:11 AM


Everyone on dating sites say they're are funny, good company, sociable, good listeners/conversationalists, respectful, bladiblablar.

If you truly are all that, then why do you (have to) resort to dating sites to find dates/a partner?

biggrin I don't see using dating sites as "resorting". Well sometimes it is kind of a "resort"; the games, jokes, and poems are kind of relaxing. The forums are interesting and sometimes funny.


Why can't you find one in real life?

biggrin I thik just about everybody can and Mingle is just supplement. I can and often do date from real life. If I am a little reserved about someone I give them my Mingle addy and get to know them better here and decide if I want to actually go out.

Or do you?

Just wondering if it's a myth that you only find "left-overs" online.

biggrin Actually I think there are some very desirable and selective people on line. The competition and selection process sis sometimes feirce but they are here. But yea there are some real duds too.

I don't really believe that myth myself ... biggrin Doesn't surprise me.

But still ... if you are truly such a great catch ... men/women should be falling at your feet?

biggrin I don't think in today's world that anyone is falling at anyone's feet now days. Even younger folks and those with disadvantages have their criteria.

So what the heck are you doing here?

Cheap secure email, great supplement to slow work days as a caregiver or boring TV, entertaining, fun to read the scammer mail, improved my typing speed, another dating tool.

-Do people not socialize enough anymore to find someone in real life?

biggrin I think the cost of socializing versus how little pay has gone up has really hurt the dating scene. Now you can have a food, movie, and wine at home, even delivered, it makes going out less appealing. Least if you are on line and are rejected you don't even have to get out of the chair to move on to the next person.

-Are their practical reasons?

biggrin See above and the fact on line conversations make the weeding out process much easier. And if you reject someone they are much less likely to make a scene about it because no one else knows about it.

-Or are many ppl on dating sites "leftovers" after all?

biggrin I think more often it is if someone stays on line is because they want to have the "attention/conversation" and really don't find being single that offensive. You get spoiled fast being single. You really give up very little once you get a certain age.

*Not getting at Mingle per say, so "I'm here for the forums" is not what I'm interested in, lol*


Some very interesting points you raise there, Pacific! Esp. the points about if you get rejected or reject someone yourself.

On the other hand side, doesn't that sort of work against us? As in, because this part is easier, we easier talk to people without real interest in them? Or talk when we aren't willing/ready to make a commitment, because you know you can easily reject the other anyways. Something you wouldn't so easily get away with in real life...

Doesn't this enhance the playing field of the a-holes, I wonder?
And wouldn't it make us a tad lazy when it comes to dating, flirting and so on?

The section on the cost of dating .. yes! I have very little to spend, which makes going out / dating very difficult for me.
Online is easier, cheaper. Offers a greater 'assortment', but also means more sifting to do ... harder to find one that could really be the right one.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Thu 05/05/16 03:20 AM
Edited by SparklingCrystal 💖💎 on Thu 05/05/16 03:38 AM


Everyone on dating sites say they're are funny, good company, sociable, good listeners/conversationalists, respectful, bladiblablar.

My actions on the forums absolutely show I am respectful.. I haven't ever said any of those other things. lol

Well, not in the forums, hihi. But most people have those statements in their online dating profile.


Well I guess I am someone's leftovers that is just life. OR AS I prefer to think of myself I am going to one hell of a prize to someone as they are going to be for me.. The claims I can make about myself are things I know to be a fact..

I carefully chose "Leftover" as opposed to "loser", haha. I didn't want to affront anyone, including myself, as I'm here too, lol.


I do socialize in the real world I have a wealth of friends that I treasure yet I am not into the bar scene or a lot of social places where singles meet and most at my age are married or so battle scarred I tend to shy away a bit. I also am a person that wants to know the other person before I leap.
I am also a person that isn't into casual sex so my options are few...

Why am I here I love the forums.. and the wonderful people I have met and the wonderful people I will meet.

Yes, I have similar reasons for being online too. I live in such a remote area that the dating pool is meager, and indeed too many ppl that are battle scarred (nice phrasing :) )
But I also know I am sometimes using that as an excuse to not go out/date. ohwell If I'm honest, I just really don't like dating all that much. Once you've met someone and go on 2nd, 3rd etc. dates, yes! Great! Love that! But all those meet & greets ... I often just can't be bothered. And I know I will have to, otherwise I'll never meet someone.



SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Thu 05/05/16 03:20 AM

Well, I don't think of myself as a great catch. I am a good catch for a certain group of men and I have an idea of men I am interested in. I live in a small town so I am expanding my horizons to find someone to connect with.

Perfectly sound and realistic view :)
flowerforyou

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Thu 05/05/16 03:30 AM

I came to mingle not to meet someone special but of course I have always remained open to that possibility. The main draw for me is the forums and international mingling .. It is wonderful to know people from all over the world . In fact ... I seldom watch tv now and my big screen tv is still in its box .. Laughing ... true story . So Mingle for me is more about entertainment and self discovery ... I learn more about myself everyday through my reactions to topics and interactions with others . Hopefully I am more aware and tolerant .. Both in my personal and professional life :-)

Yes, isn't it funny how that has changed ... not that long ago life evolved around what was on tv, now tv is starting to become less important to people.
Like what Ciretom said, internet connections are becoming more important and real.
I don't even own a big screen tv, nor do I want one. I got an old-fashioned, huge tv (that I seldom use). So heavy it takes a really strong man to lift it on his own. So I couldn't even get rid of it if I wanted to, haha.
For me, Mingle isn't a dating site really, it's the forums. Most people live too far away so it's pointless as a dating site. Guessing it's the same for you.
I'm on Dutch sites for that purpose.

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