Previous 1 3
Topic: the difference between a giver and the taker
no1phD's photo
Mon 02/13/17 01:28 AM
If a giver and the taker break off their relationship.. a giver will try their best.. to make it work.. a taker won't try at all. They will sit there cold and abstain taking the giver's words..of love and.. what that means..
And only hearing the negative .. only hearing that The Giver didn't give enough..to them..
And then when the giver finally gives up.. and realizes they are with a taker..
The taker will close the door on The Giver and go to bed and sleep. Soundly insured in the thought.. that it's not their problem.it ended.
Well The Giver we'll stay up all night tossing and turning.. thinking perhaps they Should Have gave a little more..to the taker..but.. then The Giver.. will give themselves a piece of advice.. stop giving to the taker..

. Do you have any little antidotes to contribute to this topic..lol

Funzy65's photo
Mon 02/13/17 02:57 AM
Edited by Funzy65 on Mon 02/13/17 02:58 AM

We should GIVE more and TAKE a little less,
but that's just an ILLUSION.

Human nature I presume, and there is not
such thing as ME GOOD you are BAD.

WE ARE ALL SELFISH, and STUBBORN IF NEED BE.
blushing ...I do MAKE CONFESSIONS NOW , DO I ?? :tongue:
********************************************
Now you also asked for EACH TO HIS/HER OWN ANTIDOTE
to this Topic or situation...DIDN'T YA ??
*********************************************
Here is my 2 cent worth of it huh

DON'T HANG ONTO THINGS THAT MAKES YOU MISERABLE.
MOVE ON, and LEARN YOUR DOG NEW TRICKS.

Such as, " HOW TO FETCH BEER ".

This way you won't MISS the other half whoa


“Et Voilà” Problem half solved. whoa

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 02/13/17 03:31 AM
Edited by SparklingCrystal 💖💎 on Mon 02/13/17 03:32 AM
And then the one who thinks he is a Giver victimizes himself. Often times a Taker gives more than a Giver, because what you feel is a Taker isn't a Taker at all, but someone who isn't co-dependent.
The one who's Giving usually has issues that make him want to please and give, which is a hidden form of TAKING. That taking - nothing more than being needy, clingy, smothering, attention seeking, approval seeking- will wear another out.
Quite logical the other party will feel a sigh of relief when they are finally able to rid themselves of the claws from the one who thinks he's a Giver (but is actually a smothering, ruthless Taker that squeezes the life out of them).
Doesn't mean the other doesn't hurt. That idea is only formed in the the mind of the 'Giver', as part of victimizing themselves to make them feel better.

If you (think you) are a Giver, you may want to look into this and work on it.
The only good relationships are interdependent ones, not co-dependent ones.
.
.
.
.


TMommy's photo
Mon 02/13/17 03:46 AM
you can give 100 percent in a relationship and ya still only make up 50 percent of the equation

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Mon 02/13/17 04:06 AM
CrystalFairy got it right. The OP tells an over-simplified tale.

Another way to put it:

GIVING, doesn't take place at all, if the so-called GIVER, requires something in return. That's not GIVING, that's SELLING.

panchovanilla's photo
Mon 02/13/17 06:08 AM
In a perfect world, there would be no giving and taking.
Only sharing.
In a perfect world.

Funzy65's photo
Mon 02/13/17 06:20 AM

Point taken for A PERFECT WORLD.

Maybe it's a little depressing to think that my vision of a perfect world is actually so messed up, but I think it means that I don't really understand what 'perfect' is.
I mean, you know, we don't live in a perfect world.

And YES, one may call me a DREAMER, but, I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE.

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 02/13/17 06:40 AM
I guess I am a GIVER and a TAKER?

We all have desires we want fulfilled by another. TAKER
When we love someone we are willing to try to fulfill their desires. GIVER
All relationships are give and take.
The issues only happen when ones desires are not fulfilled by the other.

There are SAYERS and there are DOERS.
The sayer promises desire fulfillment and the doer actually fulfills the desire.

I am a SAYER and a DOER.

When I say I am going to do something I actually do it.
When I say I mean something I actually show that I mean it.

I am not going to say "I Love You' unless I really do love you and can show you.

I am not going to say "I will get you flowers", I just go get the flowers for you.

I will not commit to something unless I am fully prepared to do it. When I do commit myself, I make every effort to my ability to hold my promise.

I GIVE you Honesty and I TAKE personal Integrity.

no1phD's photo
Mon 02/13/17 07:24 AM

And then the one who thinks he is a Giver victimizes himself. Often times a Taker gives more than a Giver, because what you feel is a Taker isn't a Taker at all, but someone who isn't co-dependent.
The one who's Giving usually has issues that make him want to please and give, which is a hidden form of TAKING. That taking - nothing more than being needy, clingy, smothering, attention seeking, approval seeking- will wear another out.
Quite logical the other party will feel a sigh of relief when they are finally able to rid themselves of the claws from the one who thinks he's a Giver (but is actually a smothering, ruthless Taker that squeezes the life out of them).
Doesn't mean the other doesn't hurt. That idea is only formed in the the mind of the 'Giver', as part of victimizing themselves to make them feel better.

If you (think you) are a Giver, you may want to look into this and work on it.
The only good relationships are interdependent ones, not co-dependent ones.
.
.
.
.


..you kill me..lmao... no he or she in there just a " me"..lol..
I am thinking you are a big taker..
..because your taking the piss out of it...lol.wink

soufiehere's photo
Mon 02/13/17 07:30 AM

..Do you have any little antidotes to contribute to this topic..lol

hahahahahaha oh you make me laugh..an antidote is a cure,
you wanted anecdote.

Very funny stuff :-)

no1phD's photo
Mon 02/13/17 07:33 AM
What I think makes a good relationship is two people that are both givers and takers..
You have to be willing to give.openly . Honestly .and with real effort ..but you also then have to in return be willing to take what your partner is giving you.. as long as they're being honest open and putting real effort in....and the same goes for them..

Two. Takers will work for a little while..
But eventually one is going to start giving more than the other....and realize the other one is a taker...our..thay just go on. Giving a little bit and taking from the other and the other doing the same giving a little bit and taking from the other..
Which can work for them..!!..

Now if you have two givers.. together..
It starts off wonderfully.. both giving..
But at some point... all that politeness and giving gets exhausting..lol..
..but..it can work for them..


msharmony's photo
Mon 02/13/17 07:40 AM
I was going to say that a healthy relationship should not have a giver and a taker to begin with


both parties should be both giving and taking (allowing the other to give) from day to day,,,based upon abilities, needs, wants, and expectations of the situation.


panchovanilla's photo
Mon 02/13/17 08:00 AM
Edited by panchovanilla on Mon 02/13/17 08:02 AM



. Do you have any little antidotes to contribute to this topic..lol



:smile: :wink:


OR

no1phD's photo
Mon 02/13/17 08:05 AM
Lol... but I'm a dog person.lol

mushu009's photo
Mon 02/13/17 08:38 AM
Edited by mushu009 on Mon 02/13/17 08:41 AM
Everyone needs to know the first person that gives in a relationship will end up tagged as the giver, sometimes the taker gives more than the giver and the giver takes all the glory.

The reason a giver will try it best to make a broken relationship work is because it has realized the taker has given more than what it has offered to the taker and it would lose some sleep over it cos we have some words we call conscience and remorse, also he would like to keep think the way it has been going.

I'm a dog lover but not everyone like to keep a pet so i would suggest you keep your relationship tight to a top notch, respect each other like best of friends, be loyal to each other like being loyal to yourself, understand each other like a winning team. Then i believe the word giver and taker will never exist in any relationship.

:) :) :)

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 02/13/17 10:15 AM


And then the one who thinks he is a Giver victimizes himself. Often times a Taker gives more than a Giver, because what you feel is a Taker isn't a Taker at all, but someone who isn't co-dependent.
The one who's Giving usually has issues that make him want to please and give, which is a hidden form of TAKING. That taking - nothing more than being needy, clingy, smothering, attention seeking, approval seeking- will wear another out.
Quite logical the other party will feel a sigh of relief when they are finally able to rid themselves of the claws from the one who thinks he's a Giver (but is actually a smothering, ruthless Taker that squeezes the life out of them).
Doesn't mean the other doesn't hurt. That idea is only formed in the the mind of the 'Giver', as part of victimizing themselves to make them feel better.

If you (think you) are a Giver, you may want to look into this and work on it.
The only good relationships are interdependent ones, not co-dependent ones.
.
.
.
.


..you kill me..lmao... no he or she in there just a " me"..lol..
I am thinking you are a big taker..
..because your taking the piss out of it...lol.wink

Oh shoot, No1! You ask ppl to contribute, I give you mine and you refuse to take the gift...

no photo
Mon 02/13/17 06:17 PM
If a giver and the taker break off their relationship.. a giver will try their best.. to make it work.. a taker won't try at all.

That's a little confusing.

If the relationship is broken off...and the giver tries their best...to make it work...doesn't that start entering into the definition of "stalker?"

And the idea the "taker won't try at all" is kinda silly.
You see what happens when you take crack away from a junkie.
They don't do nothing. They don't just sit there.
They'll gladly pay you Tuesday for some crack today.
According to many movies they'll do sexual things to you to get more of what they want.

"Takers" will usually do things like disappear for a while..then come back and try to be "just friends," and then "just friends with benefits."
And then you'll get forum threads like "I don't get it. We agreed to be just friends, or just friends with benefits...but they act like my boyfriend when we're together. Do they want more? But when I try for more they pull away. I'm confused."


. Do you have any little antidotes to contribute to this topic..lol

Every human being is a "taker."
Some are simply more opportunistic than others.
There's no such thing as a "giver."
"Givers" are simply manipulators of social reciprocity, or victims of low esteem and insecurity.

Instead of "givers and takers" it would be more appropriate to call them "white guilt and crack heads."

panchovanilla's photo
Mon 02/13/17 07:11 PM


There's no such thing as a "giver."
"Givers" are simply manipulators of social reciprocity, or victims of low esteem and insecurity.


Take that back!!!!!
Santa Clause isn't any of those things.mad

no1phD's photo
Mon 02/13/17 07:25 PM



And then the one who thinks he is a Giver victimizes himself. Often times a Taker gives more than a Giver, because what you feel is a Taker isn't a Taker at all, but someone who isn't co-dependent.
The one who's Giving usually has issues that make him want to please and give, which is a hidden form of TAKING. That taking - nothing more than being needy, clingy, smothering, attention seeking, approval seeking- will wear another out.
Quite logical the other party will feel a sigh of relief when they are finally able to rid themselves of the claws from the one who thinks he's a Giver (but is actually a smothering, ruthless Taker that squeezes the life out of them).
Doesn't mean the other doesn't hurt. That idea is only formed in the the mind of the 'Giver', as part of victimizing themselves to make them feel better.

If you (think you) are a Giver, you may want to look into this and work on it.
The only good relationships are interdependent ones, not co-dependent ones.
.
.
.
.


..you kill me..lmao... no he or she in there just a " me"..lol..
I am thinking you are a big taker..
..because your taking the piss out of it...lol.wink

Oh shoot, No1! You ask ppl to contribute, I give you mine and you refuse to take the gift...

.. yes that's because your gift keeps on giving and giving..lol

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Tue 02/14/17 01:21 AM




And then the one who thinks he is a Giver victimizes himself. Often times a Taker gives more than a Giver, because what you feel is a Taker isn't a Taker at all, but someone who isn't co-dependent.
The one who's Giving usually has issues that make him want to please and give, which is a hidden form of TAKING. That taking - nothing more than being needy, clingy, smothering, attention seeking, approval seeking- will wear another out.
Quite logical the other party will feel a sigh of relief when they are finally able to rid themselves of the claws from the one who thinks he's a Giver (but is actually a smothering, ruthless Taker that squeezes the life out of them).
Doesn't mean the other doesn't hurt. That idea is only formed in the the mind of the 'Giver', as part of victimizing themselves to make them feel better.

If you (think you) are a Giver, you may want to look into this and work on it.
The only good relationships are interdependent ones, not co-dependent ones.
.
.
.
.


..you kill me..lmao... no he or she in there just a " me"..lol..
I am thinking you are a big taker..
..because your taking the piss out of it...lol.wink

Oh shoot, No1! You ask ppl to contribute, I give you mine and you refuse to take the gift...

.. yes that's because your gift keeps on giving and giving..lol

I know, isn't it wonderful! And it doesn't even require batteries!! tongue2
Enjoy it, I'm gonna shower and dream about my man smitten

Previous 1 3