Topic: Such hostility toward "Separated"
no1phD's photo
Mon 04/10/17 11:13 AM

lack of convictions, values, morals and standards

spring to my mindbigsmile
.. you sound like a commercial for the EPA..lol...hmmm.. I don't think it's the EPA I'm thinking of. .lol.... but you can turn that around the person that doesn't want in that relationship maybe lacks convictions values morals standards.. maybe they are a little rigid in their thinking... I believe life is about acceptance.. I accept you for who you are I accept me for who I am..
I accept that there is two sides to this topic.. and I respect the fact.. that this is just the way it is...

no1phD's photo
Mon 04/10/17 11:14 AM
Ohh..Not the EPA the standards and practice thing.. I don't know what the abbreviation for that is SP Sap..lol

TMommy's photo
Mon 04/10/17 11:16 AM
I accept that my values are my own
I take full ownership of them
I have taken the time to evaluate them
they are mine


they may not be yours

I have no intention of selling myself short
settling for something that will ultimately
lead to my unhappiness

know thyself know what I mean?


your values are your own

no photo
Mon 04/10/17 11:17 AM
Whether the relationship status is separated, divorced, widowed, or even single the biggest problem I had, when I dated, was unfinished business. I found it extremely irritating to try and have a conversation with someone who was still grinding an ax against an ex. "Eff you! You're on a date with me. either move on or get out of the dating pool."

This irritating reality is usually most common among separated people hence my own reluctance to date them. However, I never made it a moral issue because that is just silly, judgemental, and almost always hypocritical.

msharmony's photo
Mon 04/10/17 11:19 AM
our experience leads to our perception which leads to our reality...

Must have sucked to have dated those stuck on an ex Waterloo, your hesitation is an understandable result happy

no photo
Mon 04/10/17 11:27 AM

our experience leads to our perception which leads to our reality...

Must have sucked to have dated those stuck on an ex Waterloo, your hesitation was an understandable result happy



Fixed it since I stopped dating long ago.


Anyway... It happens frequently once you hit a certain age. In a way it was a good thing since it was such a non starter. I didn't care what else she had going on. If any ISSUE with the ex entered the conversation I was out. Simple...

no photo
Mon 04/10/17 11:36 AM
I think every single case would be different to some extent.

I think there would be some seperated people who would never go back to the other half, violent relationships for instance.
However, there must be some cases were there's a chance that they may reconsider and eventually want to go back to their ex.

So where do you draw the line.

no1phD's photo
Mon 04/10/17 11:41 AM

I think every single case would be different to some extent.

I think there would be some seperated people who would never go back to the other half, violent relationships for instance.
However, there must be some cases were there's a chance that they may reconsider and eventually want to go back to their ex.

So where do you draw the line.

.. personally I don't believe in drawing a line I take each relationship as it comes to me.. as someone noted above if the person you're seeing keeps talking about their ex or grinding an axe! I believe is how it was put... then I would leave that relationship but that type of thing comes up pretty quickly at the start of relationship....
Same with the person that is separated telling you that they have a good relationship with their ex a healthy one not physical.. perhaps they have children together they share custody with.. but they reassure you that the relationship that once was is over.. well for myself I wouldn't have a problem dating that person..
But yes if you're talking metaphorically where do we stop..
Putting ourselves out there expanding ourselves as a person accepting other people and there'.. past and paths there are now..
Well that's up to each person to rub the Buddha bellies. belly.. and ask for divine wisdom..lol

no photo
Mon 04/10/17 11:54 AM


I think every single case would be different to some extent.

I think there would be some seperated people who would never go back to the other half, violent relationships for instance.
However, there must be some cases were there's a chance that they may reconsider and eventually want to go back to their ex.

So where do you draw the line.

.. personally I don't believe in drawing a line I take each relationship as it comes to me.. as someone noted above if the person you're seeing keeps talking about their ex or grinding an axe! I believe is how it was put... then I would leave that relationship but that type of thing comes up pretty quickly at the start of relationship....
Same with the person that is separated telling you that they have a good relationship with their ex a healthy one not physical.. perhaps they have children together they share custody with.. but they reassure you that the relationship that once was is over.. well for myself I wouldn't have a problem dating that person..
But yes if you're talking metaphorically where do we stop..
Putting ourselves out there expanding ourselves as a person accepting other people and there'.. past and paths there are now..
Well that's up to each person to rub the Buddha bellies. belly.. and ask for divine wisdom..lol

My first line was more to the point of what I meant, each case would be different.
I'm sort of similar in that where would I draw the line.
What if her ex was a complete nut case and her divorce was ongoing. Would I miss the chance of meeting a diamond just because her divorce wasn't final yet.
I'm all for having standards and morals but we all have a story.

As it happens I was due to meet a woman off here (no one from the forums)
She was divorced and casually mentioned one day that she had a restraining order put on her by her ex, so obviously I swerved that one.
Seperated and waiting for a divorce to come through? It takes a lot to leave someone who you've loved and lived with, that's for sure.

no1phD's photo
Mon 04/10/17 11:58 AM



I think every single case would be different to some extent.

I think there would be some seperated people who would never go back to the other half, violent relationships for instance.
However, there must be some cases were there's a chance that they may reconsider and eventually want to go back to their ex.

So where do you draw the line.

.. personally I don't believe in drawing a line I take each relationship as it comes to me.. as someone noted above if the person you're seeing keeps talking about their ex or grinding an axe! I believe is how it was put... then I would leave that relationship but that type of thing comes up pretty quickly at the start of relationship....
Same with the person that is separated telling you that they have a good relationship with their ex a healthy one not physical.. perhaps they have children together they share custody with.. but they reassure you that the relationship that once was is over.. well for myself I wouldn't have a problem dating that person..
But yes if you're talking metaphorically where do we stop..
Putting ourselves out there expanding ourselves as a person accepting other people and there'.. past and paths there are now..
Well that's up to each person to rub the Buddha bellies. belly.. and ask for divine wisdom..lol

My first line was more to the point of what I meant, each case would be different.
I'm sort of similar in that where would I draw the line.
What if her ex was a complete nut case and her divorce was ongoing. Would I miss the chance of meeting a diamond just because her divorce wasn't final yet.
I'm all for having standards and morals but we all have a story.

As it happens I was due to meet a woman off here (no one from the forums)
She was divorced and casually mentioned one day that she had a restraining order put on her by her ex, so obviously I swerved that one.
Seperated and waiting for a divorce to come through? It takes a lot to leave someone who you've loved and lived with, that's for sure.
..yes.. I did see the line you are mentioning... but it was just the drawing a Line in the Sand ..caught my eye..

no1phD's photo
Mon 04/10/17 12:01 PM
Edited by no1phD on Mon 04/10/17 12:01 PM
And I too have a similar story was dating a woman.. still am kind of..lol.. she and her ex do not get along still talking with lawyers arguing over custody.. money and things of this nature... if it wasn't for the great sex that her and I share between ourselves... I would have bowed out a long time ago.... and she has a young child as well which kind of freaks me out..hmmm... not what I was looking for at all..but.. she really knows what she's doing in the bedroom..hmmm. and out of the bedroom..lol..
Oh my God I'm such a selfish bastard

no photo
Mon 04/10/17 12:10 PM




I think every single case would be different to some extent.

I think there would be some seperated people who would never go back to the other half, violent relationships for instance.
However, there must be some cases were there's a chance that they may reconsider and eventually want to go back to their ex.

So where do you draw the line.

.. personally I don't believe in drawing a line I take each relationship as it comes to me.. as someone noted above if the person you're seeing keeps talking about their ex or grinding an axe! I believe is how it was put... then I would leave that relationship but that type of thing comes up pretty quickly at the start of relationship....
Same with the person that is separated telling you that they have a good relationship with their ex a healthy one not physical.. perhaps they have children together they share custody with.. but they reassure you that the relationship that once was is over.. well for myself I wouldn't have a problem dating that person..
But yes if you're talking metaphorically where do we stop..
Putting ourselves out there expanding ourselves as a person accepting other people and there'.. past and paths there are now..
Well that's up to each person to rub the Buddha bellies. belly.. and ask for divine wisdom..lol

My first line was more to the point of what I meant, each case would be different.
I'm sort of similar in that where would I draw the line.
What if her ex was a complete nut case and her divorce was ongoing. Would I miss the chance of meeting a diamond just because her divorce wasn't final yet.
I'm all for having standards and morals but we all have a story.

As it happens I was due to meet a woman off here (no one from the forums)
She was divorced and casually mentioned one day that she had a restraining order put on her by her ex, so obviously I swerved that one.
Seperated and waiting for a divorce to come through? It takes a lot to leave someone who you've loved and lived with, that's for sure.
..yes.. I did see the line you are mentioning... but it was just the drawing a Line in the Sand ..caught my eye..

I have a great story about drawing lines in sand, i mean real sand on the beach. I think I'll write a poem about it sometime soon.

no1phD's photo
Mon 04/10/17 12:12 PM





I think every single case would be different to some extent.

I think there would be some seperated people who would never go back to the other half, violent relationships for instance.
However, there must be some cases were there's a chance that they may reconsider and eventually want to go back to their ex.

So where do you draw the line.

.. personally I don't believe in drawing a line I take each relationship as it comes to me.. as someone noted above if the person you're seeing keeps talking about their ex or grinding an axe! I believe is how it was put... then I would leave that relationship but that type of thing comes up pretty quickly at the start of relationship....
Same with the person that is separated telling you that they have a good relationship with their ex a healthy one not physical.. perhaps they have children together they share custody with.. but they reassure you that the relationship that once was is over.. well for myself I wouldn't have a problem dating that person..
But yes if you're talking metaphorically where do we stop..
Putting ourselves out there expanding ourselves as a person accepting other people and there'.. past and paths there are now..
Well that's up to each person to rub the Buddha bellies. belly.. and ask for divine wisdom..lol

My first line was more to the point of what I meant, each case would be different.
I'm sort of similar in that where would I draw the line.
What if her ex was a complete nut case and her divorce was ongoing. Would I miss the chance of meeting a diamond just because her divorce wasn't final yet.
I'm all for having standards and morals but we all have a story.

As it happens I was due to meet a woman off here (no one from the forums)
She was divorced and casually mentioned one day that she had a restraining order put on her by her ex, so obviously I swerved that one.
Seperated and waiting for a divorce to come through? It takes a lot to leave someone who you've loved and lived with, that's for sure.
..yes.. I did see the line you are mentioning... but it was just the drawing a Line in the Sand ..caught my eye..

I have a great story about drawing lines in sand, i mean real sand on the beach. I think I'll write a poem about it sometime soon.

.. I will keep my eye open for it... looking forward to it..:thumbsup:

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 04/10/17 12:57 PM
@ Nr1, I see your point and I do apologize. It wasn't meant that way, but I do see it isn't nice. I should have left that part out, the rest is really just my view and nothing to do with you whatsoever.
flowerforyou

no1phD's photo
Mon 04/10/17 01:09 PM

@ Nr1, I see your point and I do apologize. It wasn't meant that way, but I do see it isn't nice. I should have left that part out, the rest is really just my view and nothing to do with you whatsoever.
flowerforyou

:wink: flowerforyou :thumbsup:

mzrosie's photo
Mon 04/10/17 01:42 PM
whoa you're married? what shocked scared


no1phD's photo
Mon 04/10/17 01:51 PM


@ Nr1, I see your point and I do apologize. It wasn't meant that way, but I do see it isn't nice. I should have left that part out, the rest is really just my view and nothing to do with you whatsoever.
flowerforyou

:wink: flowerforyou :thumbsup:
..now do you see^^^^ what you started..lol.. I'm going to be getting emails for a week because of this.omg..lol

Dodo_David's photo
Mon 04/10/17 01:54 PM

If that is someone's thing...go get em tiger. Not for me. Being opposed doesn't always equal hostility


This. ^^^

yellowrose10's photo
Mon 04/10/17 01:56 PM


If that is someone's thing...go get em tiger. Not for me. Being opposed doesn't always equal hostility


This. ^^^


What did I win? biggrin

mzrosie's photo
Mon 04/10/17 01:57 PM

whoa you're married? what shocked scared




... don't worry... what happens in the forums stay in the forums
rofl