Topic: Need opinions *
mysticalview21's photo
Sat 10/28/17 08:45 AM
you are good friends with someone ...
and you love them very very much ...
and they are going to get hurt ... always inedible...


do you tell them how u feel ... so maybe they won't ...
and you may possibly loose the relationship with them ... which would be unbearable for me ... <-or is this just selfish ...


or just sit back and think this is none of your business...
and let the chips fall where they may ... and hope they come to their since very soon ...

no photo
Sat 10/28/17 08:58 AM
always tell them, just don't be too upset if they don't listen.
if it causes an ending then in my opinion it wasn't a worth while friendship. the worth while ones always survive the bumps in the road

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Sat 10/28/17 09:45 AM
I don't get the "always inedible" part of this.

I'm also not clear overall, about the exact situation.

There are times when I know that the only way that someone will learn what they need to about a situation, IS for them to get hurt by it, but there are lots of times when I know that it wont help at all for them to get hurt. So I will intercede in the latter situations, and stand by to help after the fact in the former, in both instances, because I do care about them.

Is this a situation where I think my friend will have their feelings hurt if I let them know that I can't stand how their food tastes or something? That's an entirely different kind of question.

TxsGal3333's photo
Sat 10/28/17 09:55 AM
Hummm really depends on the situation...

And what one knows about it in order to come to any kind of a conclusion.. Somethings are best left alone where at times somethings need to be told~~whoa

soufiehere's photo
Sat 10/28/17 10:15 AM
Edited by soufiehere on Sat 10/28/17 10:16 AM

I would NEVER interfere.
Tough enough managing my own life.
No time to manage other's.

They face problems that you can see (perhaps before they do)
but YOU do not have their frame of reference, so any given
situation is open to interpretation, and we are not Einstein,
that we know exactly what will happen in any circumstance.

Let them live their life, you live yours.

scottjohn's photo
Sat 10/28/17 10:41 AM
happened to me.I was hurt,but very glad my friend told me what was going on.

no photo
Sat 10/28/17 10:44 AM


I would NEVER interfere.
Tough enough managing my own life.
No time to manage other's.

They face problems that you can see (perhaps before they do)
but YOU do not have their frame of reference, so any given
situation is open to interpretation, and we are not Einstein,
that we know exactly what will happen in any circumstance.

Let them live their life, you live yours.


you are right to not interfere soufie.
the only caveat i'll offer is interfering in someones life and offering " that's a really bad idea" advice aren't really the same things

Tom4Uhere's photo
Sat 10/28/17 03:14 PM
I agree it completely depends on the situation at hand.

Standing back allowing someone to be physically maimed or killed would require my interaction. I am certainly not going to just stand by and let someone I care about die.

Often times, we are not aware of all the circumstances concerning others situations. We don't have full privy to both sides. We only see a lop-sided view.
In those cases, I would be there for them but refrain from interacting. Agreeing that some lessons must be learned first hand.

The only person you can ever hope to fully understand is yourself.
Only when a circumstance involves you directly would you consider interacting and decide to take action that involves another.

He is messing around on my daughter while they are engaged to be married. My daughter's life and contentment is important to me. I tell her what I seen and offer her advice. It is her decision to what to do about it. I support her decision even if it goes against my own beliefs.

mysticalview21's photo
Mon 10/30/17 08:54 AM
Edited by mysticalview21 on Mon 10/30/17 08:59 AM

I don't get the "always inedible" part of this.

I'm also not clear overall, about the exact situation.

There are times when I know that the only way that someone will learn what they need to about a situation, IS for them to get hurt by it, but there are lots of times when I know that it wont help at all for them to get hurt. So I will intercede in the latter situations, and stand by to help after the fact in the former, in both instances, because I do care about them.

Is this a situation where I think my friend will have their feelings hurt if I let them know that I can't stand how their food tastes or something? That's an entirely different kind of question.



laugh

Know just someone... I don't want to hurt or loose communication with them ... or not be in their life anymore ...

always inedible someone gets hurt in these situations ... I am thinking of ... let them be ...the only way they will learn and
be there for them ...becouse I just needed to be reminded
know matter my advise... they will not hear it ... so thinking whats the different just be their to help pick up the pieces if I have to ... becouse I love them that much ...
once the **** hits the fan either way ... agree ...don't interfere... great advice-> Thanks ...

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 10/30/17 10:52 AM
I don't get the "always inedible" part of this.

Inevitable

I hear the words that I read so when I read the sentences my head automatically replaced it with what made sense.

Toodygirl5's photo
Sun 01/28/18 04:23 PM
None of my business, most people follow their own desires anyway! Pray they make the right choice to not get hurt.

Frhe's photo
Sun 01/28/18 04:35 PM
The thruhset you free

AngelHappiness's photo
Sun 01/28/18 04:41 PM

you are good friends with someone ...
and you love them very very much ...
and they are going to get hurt ... always inedible...


do you tell them how u feel ... so maybe they won't ...
and you may possibly loose the relationship with them ... which would be unbearable for me ... <-or is this just selfish ...


or just sit back and think this is none of your business...
and let the chips fall where they may ... and hope they come to their since very soon ...



Depends.. if they are asking an advice, give them but never tell them what to do. If not, just be there for them. Listen to them. Show them that you care and that you are concern to them. Make them feel that they are not alone. Then pray...

(Don't really know the story Sis so I am not sure if my response is right...)

no photo
Sun 01/28/18 05:08 PM

you are good friends with someone ...
and you love them very very much ...
and they are going to get hurt ... always inedible...


do you tell them how u feel ... so maybe they won't ...
and you may possibly loose the relationship with them ... which would be unbearable for me ... <-or is this just selfish ...


or just sit back and think this is none of your business...
and let the chips fall where they may ... and hope they come to their since very soon ...

This speaks to me as if it’s on speaker and megaphone at the same time OMG. Thanks for sharing :thumbsup:

mightymoe's photo
Sun 01/28/18 05:29 PM
Kind of a catch 22... Seems like either way doesn't end well, so I would offer any advise if they want it, otherwise I'd just stay out of it.

shovelheaddave's photo
Mon 06/04/18 07:43 AM
Edited by shovelheaddave on Mon 06/04/18 07:54 AM
it all depends on what your motivations are....

are you wanting to tell them because you are worried that something bad is going to happen to them?

or

do you want to tell them because you feel that it is your job to control them/their lives,and that everything that they do must meet YOUR approval?

either way,whatever they do,it is THEIR choice,not yours,and THEY must be allowed to make their own mistakes,so they can learn from them,and if you tell them how they should live their lives,you must be prepared to suffer the consequences for it,so you must consider the question....is it really worth it?

but,if your motivations are TRULY altruistic,and it is something that you feel is TRULY something that they should know,then if you are TRULY their friend,you will tell them,even if it DOES cause you personal discomfort,or loss,because even if it does cost you something,that is what being a TRUE friend TRULY means!

but,if your own motivations are just selfish,petty personal feelings,then THAT is not what TRUE friends do,and you might have just caused yourself [and THEM ] personal pain for no reason,which,IMO is a TRULY stupid thing to do.

SO,learn how to pick your battles,and only engage in them for the RIGHT reasons!!!