Two people dating each other or in a marriage or living together ...
an both are widowers ...


personally... would be hard to date a widower ...
but thats just me ...


so how do you make that work...or does it ...

anyone experience this ...

i have seen it many times mysti. the biggest plus is 1st hand understanding that the lost ones were a big part of your life and prolly for a long time to boot

That's a good way to look at it eric ...

Well, I guess you both just keep quiet when you are passing cemeteries.

after that it really is just another person on that stool beside you.

and believe it or not the couple i know that has been together the longest both answer to both names and both poke fun at comparisons well ralph liked my meatloaf

your bad I could not image taking those trips to each others spouses...

thats having a good since of humor... and very loving

Communication and chemistry is very important for a long-term relationship.

This ^

I am a widow. Only someone who has loved and lost can truly understand.
It also makes you appreciate every moment and the new love.

Hmmm...

I dont want to put this in the same category because one is obviously more final and painful than the other but wouldnt it be a little bit like
two divorcees who still love their exes?

In a divorce like that, the ghost of the ex lingers and the new love often feels haunted by it.

Whether its a divorce or death in question, the "victim" needs some distance and healing from either tragedy before moving forward with a new love.

And the new couple needs to be secure enough in their new relationship and compassionate enough about each other's loss to be transparent about residual feelings for their previous mates ..Maybe even seek couple's therapy to work through all that heavy stuff

you have to understand that they have lost someone unexpectedly. they may never ever get over that but Life Goes On and if you're willing to have a relationship and understand that they still love this person there's no reason there couldn't be room in their heart for you as well

Know someone who had dated widowers a few times and she told me to never ever go there.
They've put their first wife on a pedestal and no one can ever live up to that again. you'll always be nr. 2. They're often very reluctant to change anything in their home even, because they want to leave it the way they had it with their wife. Pictures of her everywhere, treasuring how she decorated the home and arranged items and furniture.
Doesn't leave much room for anyone new.

Difference with a divorced man as I see it... because their ex is still alive they don't necessarily put the ex on a pedestal.
When someone's deceased ppl tend to instantly forget all the less pleasant things about that person and revere the good, maybe even exaggerate that in their pain.
How do you compete with that? You can't.

With all due respect to widow/ers on here, I'd never get involved with one myself.
I've got room in my heart for a man to be my Nr 1. I want the same in return from a man.

I'm a widow and have yet to date a widower but it just has worked that way with me. The closest thing I had experienced was a first meet with a widower and all he could talk about was his late wife. Guess if there was a second meet lol It was an absolute turn off.

But it was not my worst first meet.. the worst one was a guy who kept talking about politics and religion and when I asked, "sooo, aside from politics and religion, what else are you interesting in?" He said nothing much. hahahahaha

Am I open to date a widower? Sure, as long as he doesn't talk about his late wife on the first meet. On second meet, we'll see.

Pretty much how you make any relationship work.
You learn to value what you have, for what is, and figure out if what you have is what you want.
You learn to effectively communicate honestly and listen.

Each relationship is unique and fulfills its own purpose.
It's not a competition. It's not like a career where each one has to be better than the last, everything the last one had plus more money, and a better title.

There isn't one kind of love, one kind of priority, one kind of bonding, one kind of relationship ideal that if you don't get that one specific utopian thing then you have nothing or what you do have is "less."



Other than that, it depends on the widower.
Some people have a tendency to elevate their relationship, and/or their partner to some romanticized ideal.
Some people are incapable of moving on.
Some people are incapable of handling relationships with others with a past.

that's cool

I dated a woman who was widowed three times.
So I asked her, "what did your first husband die of?"

"He accidentally ate poison mushrooms", she says.

"Oh, sorry to hear that", I says, "What about your second husband?"

"Oh he accidentally ate poison mushrooms too", she says.

"Geez, whud ya know" I says, "what about your third husband?"

"Oh, well," she says, "He was telling me how much he hated mushroom soup, and he accidentally fell down the stairs and broke his neck."

What means widower?

Sorry my english is not so good! It is in progress

Aaah ok I understand. What is the problem? Its not the widowers fault that he/she is a widower. I hope so. They need to get the chance to date other people

Ghostbusters?

Widower or not, I wouldn't get involved. Don't need the drama