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| Topic: No physical attraction? | |
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I'm confused..isn't it you ladies who are always saying looks aren't important? Or do y'all just tell me that? I think physical attraction is rarely a reflexion of GQ or Covergirl standards of beauty. Most women can find physical attraction in kind eyes, charming smiles or even cute earlobes. Lol! The question here is whether an attraction to personality and intellect bring our attention to physical attractions we were not initially drawn to. I believe most women are more excited about the gift than the wrapper.  Basically, men are stupid when it comes to females... |
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why? explain please.
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why? explain please. |
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I'm confused..isn't it you ladies who are always saying looks aren't important? Or do y'all just tell me that? I think physical attraction is rarely a reflexion of GQ or Covergirl standards of beauty. Most women can find physical attraction in kind eyes, charming smiles or even cute earlobes. Lol! The question here is whether an attraction to personality and intellect bring our attention to physical attractions we were not initially drawn to. I believe most women are more excited about the gift than the wrapper. Basically, men are stupid when it comes to females... I learned that animal fact myself during a game of Trivial Pursuit in high school. Lol! It's a little weird how flipped our gender roles are from the rest of the animal kingdom. In my experience, the men who think they've got us all figured out are the ones to watch out for. 
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I don't know. I have spent a lifetime of looking goofy in the present and not as bad as I thought in the past. So your telling me that it wasn;t my looks that kept women away when I was young. Oh dear.. so I'm not charming? or witty? or steeped in personality? no sense of humor? wow.. depressing.. I just assumed it was the goofy looks.
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why? explain please. I predict you may be about to learn some women's minds very shortly mightymoe. 
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why? explain please. I predict you may be about to learn some women's minds very shortly mightymoe. |
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Edited by
lu_rosemary
on
Fri 02/16/18 08:27 AM
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why? explain please. I understand. You are a very Smart person. I like my solitude. Thank you. |
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I don't know. I have spent a lifetime of looking goofy in the present and not as bad as I thought in the past. So your telling me that it wasn;t my looks that kept women away when I was young. Oh dear.. so I'm not charming? or witty? or steeped in personality? no sense of humor? wow.. depressing.. I just assumed it was the goofy looks. Oh, I'm fairly certain you charmed your share Coach. 
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why? explain please. I predict you may be about to learn some women's minds very shortly mightymoe. Oh, how the Mightymoe have fallen? 
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I don't know. I have spent a lifetime of looking goofy in the present and not as bad as I thought in the past. So your telling me that it wasn;t my looks that kept women away when I was young. Oh dear.. so I'm not charming? or witty? or steeped in personality? no sense of humor? wow.. depressing.. I just assumed it was the goofy looks. Oh, I'm fairly certain you charmed your share Coach. lol.. you are right. My share being one and she did demand a lot of charming. Geesh.. I was exhausted by the time she finally said yes and then found out I had years of still "taking out the garbage". Pity is welcome. |
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Note: not a personal experience, just something I thought could be interesting discussion. Have you ever been on a date (maybe a blind date/setup) with someone you initially had no physical attraction to, only to discover so much inner attraction you had to see them again? If Yes, did your inner attraction change your physical attraction to them and how? Attraction (any kind) to another human being (female or male) is our primary (initial) judgement that sets the stage for our level of interaction (if any). Consider that there are different kinds and levels of attraction Physical attraction Sexual attraction Intellectual attraction Spiritual attraction Financial attraction Authority attraction and even Emotional attraction. They don't occupy their own lil boxes. They over-lap, intensify and blur. Whats more, they change as our perception changes as our emotional states ebb and flow. Any discussion on attraction must also have considerations about repulsions. There may be a physical attraction but a sexual repulsion. Any combination at any time and not set in stone. Its the perception in the moment that sets the attraction/repulsion. Familiarity (duration of perception) changes the perceived attraction/repulsion. Attraction is not a bold straight line drawn from one person to another, its a bunch of squiggly lines that loop and twist and fade and brighten as we spend time in their presence. This reads like informative poetry. Nicely put. So have you experienced a burgeoning perception in one type of attraction which overflows onto another type of attraction? I have experienced initial repulsion that changes to attraction over time. I have also experienced intitial attraction that changes to repulsion over time. I understand that it can be my perceptions. That the attraction or repulsion was always there in some way but my perception or anticipation made it a non-priority at first. That 'time on target' brought it to the front. I've learned that first impressions are not as important as they are made out to be. That the 'time on target' clarifys. |
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Note: not a personal experience, just something I thought could be interesting discussion. Have you ever been on a date (maybe a blind date/setup) with someone you initially had no physical attraction to, only to discover so much inner attraction you had to see them again? If Yes, did your inner attraction change your physical attraction to them and how? Attraction (any kind) to another human being (female or male) is our primary (initial) judgement that sets the stage for our level of interaction (if any). Consider that there are different kinds and levels of attraction Physical attraction Sexual attraction Intellectual attraction Spiritual attraction Financial attraction Authority attraction and even Emotional attraction. They don't occupy their own lil boxes. They over-lap, intensify and blur. Whats more, they change as our perception changes as our emotional states ebb and flow. Any discussion on attraction must also have considerations about repulsions. There may be a physical attraction but a sexual repulsion. Any combination at any time and not set in stone. Its the perception in the moment that sets the attraction/repulsion. Familiarity (duration of perception) changes the perceived attraction/repulsion. Attraction is not a bold straight line drawn from one person to another, its a bunch of squiggly lines that loop and twist and fade and brighten as we spend time in their presence. This reads like informative poetry. Nicely put. So have you experienced a burgeoning perception in one type of attraction which overflows onto another type of attraction? I have experienced initial repulsion that changes to attraction over time. I have also experienced intitial attraction that changes to repulsion over time. I understand that it can be my perceptions. That the attraction or repulsion was always there in some way but my perception or anticipation made it a non-priority at first. That 'time on target' brought it to the front. I've learned that first impressions are not as important as they are made out to be. That the 'time on target' clarifys. That's a great point Tom4Uhere! The reverse is probably even more common. I think most of us have, at least once, been taken in by a pleasant face, only to be repulsed by inner ugliness. Thanks for adding this to the discussion.
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I don't know. I have spent a lifetime of looking goofy in the present and not as bad as I thought in the past. So your telling me that it wasn;t my looks that kept women away when I was young. Oh dear.. so I'm not charming? or witty? or steeped in personality? no sense of humor? wow.. depressing.. I just assumed it was the goofy looks. Oh, I'm fairly certain you charmed your share Coach. lol.. you are right. My share being one and she did demand a lot of charming. Geesh.. I was exhausted by the time she finally said yes and then found out I had years of still "taking out the garbage". Pity is welcome. I imagine she is a lucky lady. I bet you take out the trash like a rockstar! JK...seriously though. For the lucky ones it only takes 1. Good for you!
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The reverse is probably even more common. I think most of us have, at least once, been taken in by a pleasant face, only to be repulsed by inner ugliness. Thinking about it a bit.... I think our exposure to media sets an impression of physical attraction. Most everyone alive today has been exposed to some type of media where the good guy wears white. Many people sub-consciously subscribe to dictated features of physical attraction. Just look at the actor/actress/stardom fandom. People tend to go into relationships based on their perception of how the subject resembles their persons of interest. They match the impression of someone they like. When we meet people for the first time we associate their looks to people we admire. They may not have any resemblance but our perceptions make the associations. Time on target reveals the delusions over time. We realize they have no resemblance. It changes how we associate our familiarity with that person. We start to see them as they are, sometimes it results in attraction, sometimes, repulsion. I have a knack for seeing youthful beauty in women. My age preferences limits the range of perspective matches. I accept aging. More often than not, I see the younger beauty in a woman that matches photos I see later. I find it is that youthful vision that changes over time. It attracted me but as I gained clarity, her actual visage was not to my preference. Or, just the opposite. Her current visage increases my attraction to her. My sister and brother-in-law have been married for 51 years. When I asked her she told me she still sees the man she married. He looks nothing like he did when I first met him. Her perception of him is a delusion but it is all she needs. I ask him, he told me the same. Attraction is all perception. Perception can be reality or delusion. Its all based on personal associations. Associations that can change with time on target. |
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I'm all about the outside. Now, she can be thin, average, big boned or whatever you want to call the sizes.....and the eyes and hair have to be dope.
On a side note, yes I do care about who she is on the inside. But the physical gets me going first. |
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The reverse is probably even more common. I think most of us have, at least once, been taken in by a pleasant face, only to be repulsed by inner ugliness. Thinking about it a bit.... I think our exposure to media sets an impression of physical attraction. Most everyone alive today has been exposed to some type of media where the good guy wears white. Many people sub-consciously subscribe to dictated features of physical attraction. Just look at the actor/actress/stardom fandom. People tend to go into relationships based on their perception of how the subject resembles their persons of interest. They match the impression of someone they like. When we meet people for the first time we associate their looks to people we admire. They may not have any resemblance but our perceptions make the associations. Time on target reveals the delusions over time. We realize they have no resemblance. It changes how we associate our familiarity with that person. We start to see them as they are, sometimes it results in attraction, sometimes, repulsion. I have a knack for seeing youthful beauty in women. My age preferences limits the range of perspective matches. I accept aging. More often than not, I see the younger beauty in a woman that matches photos I see later. I find it is that youthful vision that changes over time. It attracted me but as I gained clarity, her actual visage was not to my preference. Or, just the opposite. Her current visage increases my attraction to her. My sister and brother-in-law have been married for 51 years. When I asked her she told me she still sees the man she married. He looks nothing like he did when I first met him. Her perception of him is a delusion but it is all she needs. I ask him, he told me the same. Attraction is all perception. Perception can be reality or delusion. Its all based on personal associations. Associations that can change with time on target. You make good sense. And you've made it painfully clear to me. I have been dong this all wrong the whole time! Not ONE of the men I've dated resembled Mathew McConaughey! 
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If I am not physically attracted then no. But the personality makes awesome friends
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I'm confused..isn't it you ladies who are always saying looks aren't important? Or do y'all just tell me that? I think physical attraction is rarely a reflexion of GQ or Covergirl standards of beauty. Most women can find physical attraction in kind eyes, charming smiles or even cute earlobes. Lol! The question here is whether an attraction to personality and intellect bring our attention to physical attractions we were not initially drawn to. I believe most women are more excited about the gift than the wrapper. I like the way you phrase things. Im definitely a 'gift' kind of gal...lol. |
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The reverse is probably even more common. I think most of us have, at least once, been taken in by a pleasant face, only to be repulsed by inner ugliness. Thinking about it a bit.... I think our exposure to media sets an impression of physical attraction. Most everyone alive today has been exposed to some type of media where the good guy wears white. Many people sub-consciously subscribe to dictated features of physical attraction. Just look at the actor/actress/stardom fandom. People tend to go into relationships based on their perception of how the subject resembles their persons of interest. They match the impression of someone they like. When we meet people for the first time we associate their looks to people we admire. They may not have any resemblance but our perceptions make the associations. Time on target reveals the delusions over time. We realize they have no resemblance. It changes how we associate our familiarity with that person. We start to see them as they are, sometimes it results in attraction, sometimes, repulsion. I have a knack for seeing youthful beauty in women. My age preferences limits the range of perspective matches. I accept aging. More often than not, I see the younger beauty in a woman that matches photos I see later. I find it is that youthful vision that changes over time. It attracted me but as I gained clarity, her actual visage was not to my preference. Or, just the opposite. Her current visage increases my attraction to her. My sister and brother-in-law have been married for 51 years. When I asked her she told me she still sees the man she married. He looks nothing like he did when I first met him. Her perception of him is a delusion but it is all she needs. I ask him, he told me the same. Attraction is all perception. Perception can be reality or delusion. Its all based on personal associations. Associations that can change with time on target. You make good sense. And you've made it painfully clear to me. I have been dong this all wrong the whole time! Not ONE of the men I've dated resembled Mathew McConaughey! No worries, just change your perceptions of all the men you meet so they do resemble Mathew McConaughey.  
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