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Topic: Why do Men get upset with this:
TakingitKool's photo
Sat 04/21/18 07:50 PM
So why do men get upset when your telling them you don't want to get involved if they live far away/across country. Up in age, I don't want to waste anyone's time with long distance, and I have tried it a couple of times too, so I am not wanting that.

sujm69's photo
Sat 04/21/18 08:29 PM
that is good question and I sure don't understand men getting upset when you are simply stating a valid problem, but I have come to realize that people tend to get upset if you say anything that doesn't fall in with what they want. Just consider that you are obviously lucky that you don't have to deal with them.

soufiehere's photo
Sat 04/21/18 08:35 PM

So why do men get upset when your telling them you don't want to get involved if they live far away/across country. Up in age..

Maybe it's their last shot.
Be kind.

Draft730's photo
Sat 04/21/18 10:51 PM


...........they want money

Duttoneer's photo
Sun 04/22/18 01:13 AM
Edited by Duttoneer on Sun 04/22/18 01:17 AM

So why do men get upset when your telling them you don't want to get involved if they live far away/across country. Up in age, I don't want to waste anyone's time with long distance, and I have tried it a couple of times too, so I am not wanting that.


As already said by others, maybe it's not entirely their fault. Have you made it clear in your profile that you are searching for someone local and specifying a distance from your hometown, and if age is a concern have you specified the age range you are looking for? You can always use your profile filters, click on 'settings' in the 'your account' box below your photo, then click on 'Limit who can send you mail'. There you can specify the gender, age range and distance of those you are searching for, preventing all those outside of your preferences from contacting you. If all else fails, just ignore those of no interest who contact you, no reply is a reply, sadly, there are those people who cannot take no for an answer.

Welcome to Mingle2 and good luck in your search.

Earthgirl83's photo
Sun 04/22/18 02:01 AM

So why do men get upset when your telling them you don't want to get involved if they live far away/across country. Up in age, I don't want to waste anyone's time with long distance, and I have tried it a couple of times too, so I am not wanting that.



Not a guy here, but it could be because they've experienced rejections many times. Them being the ones who usually initiate contacts. So when they got another rejection, some chose to let their anger/frustration out a bit. If they approached nicely and seem to be genuine, just let them down gently.

If they bad-mouthed you, just ignore. Btw, on my first day here I received an email that someone kicked my butt, LOL. Found out it's from someone I ignored (photo's different from what profile text says - suspicious). I was like, what? noway On a date site? surprised shocked what

no photo
Sun 04/22/18 02:19 AM

So why do men get upset when your telling them you don't want to get involved if they live far away/across country.


Guess it depends a lot on how do you do that .. in what ways ..
Sure no need to get upset, and I'm sure most of them won't, but on the other hand .. as Soufie pointed out Maybe it's their last shot. ..
You may have no idea about their background, personality and their willingness to contribute into a relationship, but if you're about to show some negativity right at the beginning, don't expect things to go smoothly.
Perhaps would be wise to trade some messages, if the person seems to be nice, and ask for their opinion too ..explain them in more detail your point of view, instead of cutting them off right away

doc572's photo
Sun 04/22/18 02:49 AM
personaly I don't have a problem with long distance relationships. But at the same time if the other person doesn't like the whole long distance thing that's there problem but if they don't like them thenthey should post it in there profile to be honest if the person cant handle something long distant I say screw them its there lose not mine I mean I know I'm a good guy and there always somebody out there who doesn't mind long distance

no photo
Sun 04/22/18 04:01 AM



...........they want money


laugh laugh laugh :thumbsup:

no photo
Sun 04/22/18 06:26 AM

So why do men get upset when your telling them you don't want to get involved if they live far away/across country.


.. Would suggest to set up some filters in your profile for the distance thing .. so, those far away dudes won't bother you any longer

Toodygirl5's photo
Sun 04/22/18 06:43 AM
Edited by Toodygirl5 on Sun 04/22/18 06:45 AM
Many men don't want long distance dating either, just seek out those! men!
Never anyone within 100 miles of me, but I have had men travel from other sites just to meet in person. Not a problem for some older gentlemen.

Larsi666 😽's photo
Sun 04/22/18 06:55 AM
I feel so great, I seem to be the only member living in Dublin, so whst choice do I have, apart from chatting to people from the other side of the world :wink:

oldkid46's photo
Sun 04/22/18 05:58 PM
An older gentleman may travel to different parts of the country on a regular basis so the distance issue becomes much less significant. Also with the age, it depends so much on what you want in terms of a relationship. If you are planning long term and probably marriage, then age is a big deal, otherwise not so much.

no photo
Sun 04/22/18 09:31 PM

So why do men get upset when your telling them you don't want to get involved if they live far away/across country. Up in age, I don't want to waste anyone's time with long distance, and I have tried it a couple of times too, so I am not wanting that.

If you’ve been clear about it from the very start but they still persist and later on become nasty and upset , then there is really something iffy in the whole situation slaphead

MK2's photo
Sun 04/22/18 09:37 PM

So why do men get upset when your telling them you don't want to get involved if they live far away/across country. Up in age, I don't want to waste anyone's time with long distance, and I have tried it a couple of times too, so I am not wanting that.

just date a trucker, then can come to see you once aweek
rofl

no photo
Sun 04/22/18 10:08 PM
Perhaps they are just pretending :wink:

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Mon 04/23/18 04:08 AM
I've seen a lot of variations on that anger response.

After many years witnessing it, I have come to the firm conclusion that it's simple immaturity. Specifically, it's a sign of immaturity, when you allow yourself to blame your personal frustrations, on the people who you are dealing with.

I am mature, so when I find that I am not attractive enough to a given woman, in one way or another (certainly including distance), I simply move on in my search, respecting her for communicating clearly and politely.

But I've seen lots of guys lash out in anger at any and all women who say "no." It always reminds me of the kids I saw around me when I was very VERY young, who would angrily shout "WHY???!!!??" over and over again, after their mum said no to them about something.

TxsGal3333's photo
Mon 04/23/18 07:37 AM
Hummm if they get mad they can get happy in the same pants they got mad in...

I don't do LDR's yes have tried and will not do it again...

Local or nothing...

no photo
Mon 04/23/18 10:05 AM
So why do men get upset when your telling them you don't want to get involved if they live far away/across country.

Could be many reasons.

1. They might not be getting upset, you might be reading into it more than is there.

2. They might not be getting upset, if they're in another country they may be responding in a way that is normal to their culture, but in yours it seems like they're screaming and mad.

3. They might not really be getting upset but attempting to manipulate you into believing they're upset so you'll stick around and interact trying to make them feel better.

4. They might be getting upset due to emotional impulses.
Kind of like driving and someone cuts you off and you knee jerk react "a-hole!" or "I hate bad drivers!" and then go back to feeling normal.

5. They might not be getting upset that you tell them they're too far, they may be getting upset by the way you're telling them, possibly reading into what you're saying what isn't there, or again cultural communication differences.

6. It might be unrealistic expectations leading to frustration.
You do have filters where you can limit those who contact you to within a limited geographic distance.
He may have been using this site for 10 years so knows about it, he takes it for granted, and assumes if you weren't open to global dating you'd limit who could respond to you.

7. They may approach online dating from the consumer perspective.
By participating on a dating site you've become a representative of the dating site from their perspective.
The dating site exists to get them a date.
You rejecting them is the same as a store employee saying "I don't know if we carry that, I don't care, I wouldn't sell it to you, and no I'm not going to check in the back."

Many more reasons for what's going on.
Depends on how deep you want to go.

TakingitKool's photo
Tue 04/24/18 06:25 PM
I am kind....:) takes awhile before I would get to the point to not be kind
after someone has done me wrong.

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