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| Topic: Is there a role for an ex , if you are in a committed and ne | |
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"that one ex" may have been used as a subtle threat in the background, to keep you paying attention and pleasing her. I've been used like that. Or he's the innocent visible distraction, averting you from the other even bigger secret. Now that I think about , I was most likely in a similar situation.... but now I see clearly .... |
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If you didn't like that to the point you don't want to be involved with a partner who's still in touch with her ex, yes, you made the right decision. We all have our boundaries of what is acceptable to us. Least she could've done is tell you hers and what the contact did or did not entail. Maybe she did do that, maybe she simply has different boundaries. You are rite I did not want to be with her , since she was still socializing with her ex... was that a good enough reason to end it??? Some think it was petty!!!! That isn't really your problem, is it. It's your life and your choices and you have to be happy in life. I don't think anyone would be happy if their partner is still in touch with their ex. I don't like it either and for me it's a deal-breaker as well, unless it's necessary contact about their children which can happen. If someone finds that petty, so be it. I know what I need to be happy. |
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Seems to me you are seeking justification from strangers for a choice you made you are not sure about.
Are you having confidence or self-esteem issues? Is a touch of narcissism peeking thru? Me, personally, I'm a one woman man (always have been). I choose the woman I want to be with and she chooses me. At my age, I'm no longer trying to procreate. At the age of the women I prefer, they are no longer able to procreate. Up front, I discussed my expectations with my current GF. I do not have the same expectations I did in my younger years. I realize she had a life for 50 years before we met just like I did. She chooses to be with me and I choose to be with her but we are not joined at the hip. Her telling me about her friendships with others does not threaten me. I'm not jealous because she keeps coming back. I told her at the start if she finds someone else, just let me know and I'll do the same. She says she's not looking and neither am I. If she is, well that's okay too. We were out one afternoon when she saw one of her old friends at the grocery store. She greeted him with a hug and a peck on the cheek. I shook his hand and we shopped together for a bit. He offered that they were not romatically involved anymore and I told him no worries. I told him if she wants to be with him, she can be. I don't own her and she don't own me. We are together by choice. He looked at me strange because he was expecting me to threaten him. We are adults. We are rational. We don't own each other. We don't keep each other. Each of us are our own person. I've lived the jealousy, second guessing and fear of losing life while I was married. Way more stress than I want in my life. If we eventually part ways we will still be friends. I won't get uncomfortable when I see her in public with someone else. I don't get uncomfortable when I see old gfs either. |
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You can't go on together, with suspicious minds. lol
You'd end up caught in a trap.  That maybe, you wouldn't want to get out of. It would eat away at ya. I would have done the same m8. for what it's worth. |
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You can't go on together, with suspicious minds. lol You'd end up caught in a trap. That maybe, you wouldn't want to get out of. It would eat away at ya. I would have done the same m8. for what it's worth. That's exactly what I was begging to feel... thanks Elvis!! |
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I hope we helped
 ?? Most here tend to agree exes are not welcome in a new relationship. As a woman, I am sorry she hurt you. Take your time and as you seem like a stand up guy, good luck next time. |
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You guys on here are just great... very supportive, very clear, plenty of experience and direct to the point....
Thanks y'all helped a lot.. |
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Whatever it is, If it hurts, don't do it, just stop.
Sounds like you followed your intuition, so you must be right, no matter anyone else's opinion. I cut out a loved friend for similar reasons; better in the long run. |
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Whatever it is, If it hurts, don't do it, just stop. Sounds like you followed your intuition, so you must be right, no matter anyone else's opinion. I cut out a loved friend for similar reasons; better in the long run. Totally agree on that..even though opinions differ it's better to go with your gut instinct.... never lets you down huh!!! |
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Well said
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yes
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When I started dating her, I literally gave up all my friends, just to be able to concentrate on our relationship... she did the same, except for that one ex........and I did not like that.... I called him the back up boyfriend.... |
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yes it was rigth what you do.
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Not enough information. hii |
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Topic: Is there a role for an ex , if you are in a committed and ne
Wheel chock. Shark bait Example of what not to do... Again. Take your pick. |
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When I started dating her, I literally gave up all my friends, just to be able to concentrate on our relationship... she did the same, except for that one ex........and I did not like that.... I called him the back up boyfriend.... |
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She can not let him go because she still has feelings for him. if she’s finish with you , she might be with him right now. so let her go so she can realize what she want . |
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What is the question??
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My girlfriend , now my ex, still socializing with an ex even though she knew I did not like that, was why I ended a beautiful 4 year relationship... did I do the right thing is my question??? Why are you asking a bunch of strangers? How would we know what is right for you? |
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It's a forum... kinda like group therapy... opinions are welcome, but not necessarily adhered to ... life experience is a must...I see no strangers....
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