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| Topic: Dealing with Argument in relationship | |
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With an argument in a relationship it is important to not feel like "It's me against you" but "It's us against the problem." Because you're a team, not competitors.
If both are different, then that should be okay too. Because you're a team, and not competitors, one is not better than the other even though one may be better at something at some point. It's like a cake. Then the egg is also not considered more important or better than the flour. It's a whole. Like a relationship should be a team. This was from Jay Shetty, not verbatim. But I SO loved it!! Now the question... do you feel you can do this if you were to get involved again? And no BS about the ex, this is not about the ex. The ex is in the past, it's about your future. Could you do this? Do you think you've grown & learnt enough to be able to do that? |
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If she tries to take the remote from me, she's gonna find all her crap piled on the front lawn. End of story.
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I have a tendency to giggle.
Which, of course, usually doesn't make things better. |
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hi SparklingCrystal, a first i was going to talk logic to you, it took me along time to realize you can not help someone with logic when they are dealing with feelings...the problem at hand could be just a reaction to unresolved issues of the past.....could be a control issue for example......it is so hard for men and women to except that they are different and that its o.k...being different can add spice to our lives and new experiences......what is so sad is every person is born with a beautiful natural child in then and by the time they reach adulthood the child is wounded....they child in us is what gives us joy for life....everything is belief, when we look at a belief as an adult and discover where it really came from it changes our life for ever.....things that mattered before are not so important anymore.....few adults will do that because they "already have the answer".....so much needless pain in this world.... |
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I have a tendency to giggle. Which, of course, usually doesn't make things better. It can sometimes shift the vibe and be very helpful. But yeah... as you say, not always. |
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hi SparklingCrystal, a first i was going to talk logic to you, it took me along time to realize you can not help someone with logic when they are dealing with feelings...the problem at hand could be just a reaction to unresolved issues of the past.....could be a control issue for example......it is so hard for men and women to except that they are different and that its o.k...being different can add spice to our lives and new experiences......what is so sad is every person is born with a beautiful natural child in then and by the time they reach adulthood the child is wounded....they child in us is what gives us joy for life....everything is belief, when we look at a belief as an adult and discover where it really came from it changes our life for ever.....things that mattered before are not so important anymore.....few adults will do that because they "already have the answer".....so much needless pain in this world.... Hi! Not seen you in a long time!! Welcome back! I get your answer, but that's not what I asked. I know all that stuff. Question was if you could do it the way I described. |
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If she tries to take the remote from me, she's gonna find all her crap piled on the front lawn. End of story. All right... maybe you should just keep in relationship with the remote, haha. Sounds like you won't ever throw her out! A match made in heaven 
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I have had so much of it , a single argument would end any relationship I might have
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I've found most arguments are setups for future arguments. "Drama, life without the boring stuff".LOL Don't bother with drama queens, TV is just as boring but has a mute button.
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I've experienced in my last relationship. It feel odd and at the same time absolutely wonderful because you get an entirely different vibe, communication, and understanding.
The result is that both tend to remain open during an argument, there's no yelling or blame, just expressing of feelings. It's sorted out beautifully and fully so there are no lingering ill feelings. It does take growth so you can do this, and it does also take focus because it's a new way of relating and because it's still quite unfamiliar you easily slip into the old. But then you catch yourself and course-correct. The relationship fell apart, not because of that, but at least I know what it's like, what it feels like AND I know I can do it. Of course it takes a man who can do this too. It's a team thing, it requires two people that are ready for this. I can say it is freaking wonderful!! |
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Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Sun 11/08/20 04:03 PM
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Im not quite there Yet! I do have a man who wants to date but I declined.
He is someone I dont think I could get along with in a relationship. we met out a few times Before all the lockdowns in town. We also talked on the phone for Hours sometimes. This is NOT any Online meet. He lives intown for Years. I have to be really into a man to feel comfortable in a relationship Now.  I like a man who can argue with the right attitude. |
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I guess my GF and I are doing it wrong cause we don't argue, ever?
It wasn't till the last 6 mos of my marriage that the X and I argued. |
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