Topic: Do mother's teach men to ...
Laska Paul 's photo
Mon 01/18/21 08:32 AM
A Very Good Question raised by You . It teaches Kitchen Manners. I'm a Big "Zerooooooooo" in Cooking . Let me Tell you, some Wife's Gives a task for Their Husbands just to know how much He cares her, But he Skips away Telling Many excuses . Its True !

motowndowntown's photo
Mon 01/18/21 09:14 AM
The military "taught" me how to keep things "tidy". Working in restaurants as a teen taught me how to cook.

no photo
Mon 01/18/21 09:21 AM
Teach is a bit strong. I'd wager that we live and do what we've "observed" from our parents.

Davy 's photo
Mon 01/18/21 09:22 AM
i used to be a chef for a living, so can still cook, i live on my own and havent got a cleaner, so i do it myself

blah..blah..'s photo
Mon 01/18/21 09:33 AM
No, I was born independent fully able to do "Women's work" laugh

WheelieGoodGuy's photo
Mon 01/18/21 10:13 AM

Did your mother teach you how to clean, cook and keep a house tidy?
Or did you learn later in life?
I actually want to know as I live with two men and yeah they are a bit slack in this area.
Having knowledge and executing said knowledge are two different things I can clean and tidy up but cooking is a skill that eludes my intellect unfortunately

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 01/18/21 10:18 AM
Unless you were a spoiled snowflake most children have household chores while growing up.
CLEAN YOUR ROOM! is more than a punishment, it teaches discipline and helps you learn order.

However, youthful rebellion may backfire basic disciplines later in life. It depends on how the parent teaches the discipline. It depends on the motivator used to teach the discipline. It also depends on the child's capacity to learn those disciplines.

I see it as two sides of a coin later in life.
Cleaning chores either result from necessity or from personal standards.

Necessity driven cleaning is when they will only clean when absolutely necessary.
(If someone else does it, they don't have to)
Personal standards cleaning is when cleaning results in a personally pleasing environment.
(They do it whether someone else can do it or not)

If they are necessity driven cleaners they may put off cleaning because your personal standards are higher than theirs. To test this, you would have to tolerate the mess longer than you might be able to stand.

Look at how they keep things which you do not clean. Their cars, their laundry, their rooms. My youngest son has a garage I can't be in because it is not maintained to my standards. Its a slob pen. I always kept my garage and basement clean, orderly and well-lit. My kids used to help me keep it that way. I taught them the discipline but my youngest boy does not have the same standards as I. Luckily, I don't live there or work in his garage. If I did, I would be constantly maintaining it.

BringtheNoise's photo
Mon 01/18/21 10:41 AM
i can cook, clean and use all the appliances my mother taught me well !!

Jii's photo
Mon 01/18/21 11:30 AM
I came from a large family where each of us had alternating chores to do. Cooking and cleaning were part and parcel of the household.
Mother made sure that each and everyone knew how to cook well
Her words "If you can cook, you are accepted anywhere, if you cant, you shall just be another mouth to feed!"
Living alone now so cooking and cleaning is normal, i enjoy cooking anyway!

macktwo's photo
Mon 01/18/21 11:33 AM
i taught my son to cook and tidy up when he was younger he even does my ironing now

Cutiepieforyou's photo
Mon 01/18/21 12:55 PM
My mother was not a good cleaner. I just started cleaning when I was a kid as it was embarassing to have friends over when the house did not look good.

no photo
Mon 01/18/21 12:56 PM
Did your mother teach you how to clean, cook and keep a house tidy?

Sort of.
It was mostly self directed trial and error figuring out "how to keep mom/dad from blowing a gasket, maintain the status quo, or get that sweet sweet validation."

e.g. "you don't want your g.i. joes run over by the mower, stop leaving them in the yard."
Or "Clean your room, I'm tired of stepping on your lego's. Don't just shove everything under your bed, now you can't find your shoes. Do you want to go to school without shoes? I'm late for work! Where are your shoes?! Hurry up!
Oh, you made me a mothers day cake? And you didn't burn down the house or destroy the kitchen?! And you cleaned the bathroom and your room?! You're the best children I love you so much. That's so thoughtful!"

Or did you learn later in life?

There's always more to learn.

I live with two men and yeah they are a bit slack in this area.

I had a lot of different roommates when younger. Men, women, roommates are all ultimately horrible.

Some roommates were similar. They refused to clean up after themselves, or in a timely fashion (e.g. crusty dishes in the sink for days until too many silverfish sightings, not understanding carpets need vacuuming).

I figured out that a lot of them knew how to take care of themselves, tidy, clean, cook, whatever.
They just refused to do it.

For a lot of people it's an image or power game.

Like if it was just them living alone, they'd clean the bathroom every day.
But living with 3 people, they'd refuse to clean the bathroom because ultimately they didn't want to clean up after other people.
If they cleaned the bathroom they felt it would then be expected of them to do it. That it forced them into a "lower" social position.

And then there was living with the "kids" that just left home.
They had to clean, tidy, whatever at home, but now they were "free" they wanted to express their "freedom," to show they weren't "kids" anymore and could do "what they want," or not do what they didn't want to do. Testing boundaries, pushing their image.

And then there were those that were basically losers, depressed, lonely, or pot heads.
They didn't want to clean up, tidy, cook, whatever, because if they didn't do it they could manipulate a reaction from the roommates.
They could get someone else to do it, they could get someone angry at them, chase them down, to yell at them, cause drama.
Their lives were empty, they could use the drama to get that feeling that someone gave a crap about them. Negative attention is still attention.

Your standard power, control, image, and social hierarchy games.

Of course sometimes it was just a matter of tolerance.
Like I'm comfortable with washing sheets and cleaning my bathroom once a week.
Some people do it every day, others are fine with once a month, or only if they expect company.
I would judge those that would do it monthly, the daily cleaners would judge me, "a bit slack."

Other than that, the normal people I lived with that actually had no clue how to do it simply worked on figuring it out themselves and took any new information willingly.
Otherwise, they had enough income to do things like eat out every night, hire a maid, and take their laundry to the cleaners, so didn't care they couldn't do it.

no photo
Mon 01/18/21 01:46 PM
some people are just lazyyyy

Poetrywriter's photo
Mon 01/18/21 02:03 PM

My mother was not a good cleaner. I just started cleaning when I was a kid as it was embarassing to have friends over when the house did not look good.


My mother was the same way and it would make my dad upset so he would start an argument. I got so fed up with him doing that I would walk out.

ivegotthegirth's photo
Mon 01/18/21 02:53 PM


I can cook and clean but I hate doing dishes. noway


We are a match then. If you have the girth, I have the mirth :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:



:tongue: I've got the girth and I love mirth so............YEAH! love

Larsi666 😽's photo
Mon 01/18/21 03:08 PM


My mother made sure, I help in the house. But I didn't mind.


Good for her... :grinning:


Aye. I was supposed to be a decent housewife, I reckon laugh

Though in the 1980s, it was a wee bit odd, that a fella was able to change a baby's nappy :wink:

bobtail76's photo
Mon 01/18/21 04:11 PM

sounds to me bit feministic, i never met a woman who could cook, and even some didn't know how to real clean


That tells me you only know hot chicks. The hotter they are, the less they do.

no photo
Mon 01/18/21 06:34 PM
Men can do anything they put their mind to ...regardless of what they were or weren’t taught . I know plenty of men who are fantastic in the kitchen and keep a beautiful home . I guess age, life experiences and perception of gender roles are a factor in that success .

Rock's photo
Mon 01/18/21 08:15 PM
I'm of the immovable opinion,
that when people share living quarters,
ALL responsibilities are shared.
Inside, or outdoors.


no photo
Mon 01/18/21 09:29 PM
I have no children, so I can't say anything about that. As a child, I did more than my share and mostly volunteer, like washing dishes, sweeping floors, cook, shovel snow, rake leaves, wash cars.