Back in the 90s, personals looked a lot like they do now except the images weren't as high resolution. They look like property listings just about everywhere today.. Without video. Can we really learn anything real about a person without video? aren't we all getting robbed from self-help and choice?

Ya learn quite a lot about a person face to face.



I'm not...dunno about you?

One thing which might help is to understand online dating apps are only tools to help you locate people with whom you might want to meet.
The dating and getting to know one another is done in person, face to face.
Sure you can exchange some information online but for validity, only person to person is recommended. Even video can be inadequate due to the fact things happen off-screen.

The fact there are perverts, jerks and scammers out there prevent people from readily sharing contact info online to a stranger. Its a wise safety precaution. You can however, be honest and sincere yourself and show your potential date you are trustworthy and sincere. Only when they trust you will they reveal personal information.
Once that hurdle has been cleared, the date is the next step.
Then dating resumes normal procedure like it has been for the last few generations.

So, even video isn't infallible. Use the tools as they are meant to be used.
It works...oh yeah...Choose Wisely.

The 90s sucked.

Isn't being on a social site for over TWO YEARS and only posting twice kind of robbing yourself of choice????

there is a global trend in faking it

video certainly solves much of that if you really are in doubt

For someone living very far away from you then I agree video calls are a good idea in helping to know each other, and in deciding if you really want to meet up by travelling a long distance to see them. When they are not so far away, then it's better to meet up as soon as possible if you are interested in each other. Meeting someone over a cup of coffee during the day in a busy place is both safe, and in my opinion, the best way to find out if you really want to date each other, certainly better than a video call.

If you're so distrusting you won't learn anything about anyone, whether via written word, video, or in real life.
I personally am not going to do a video call very easily. Just like I don't easily give my phone nr to a stranger.

I simply won't be part of the paranoid mindset
that needs video chat to prove anyone is real.

Really??

Oh? For me they were quite good, until 1999.
I got married, got a baby, bought a house, had another baby, bought another newer house etc.
Great movies! Star Trek The Next Generation, Fresh Prince of Bel Air etc etc.

I really enjoyed the 90s :)

I know

Video chats help, in my view. Photos are too often faked or heavily photoshopped.

Besides 2/3 of communication is non verbal. So yea, vid chats

Why on earth not? Hiding something?

Well, for me partially because men tend to expect a super model. Meaning I have to do my hair, my make-up, put on clothes as if on a date etc.
I don't always feel like that.

Also, I do not like the assumption I'm fake and clearly over half of the men here hold that view. I am not going to prove myself to some distrusting person.
For me to take that step to use video chat I'd have to feel comfortable with a man, he has to make me feel safe and that he has a real interest in me.
A man that only wants to verify I'm real doesn't exude that, meaning I will NOT take the step to go to video.
Maybe men need to learn to use their intuition and see things as "innocent until proven guilty". What I see here most reason "Guilty until proven innocent"
I will not be part of that.

The way it's presented here by many it's a waste of my time. I am not going to take the next step until I feel a man's interest, he makes me feel good and safe.
Basically a vid chat is like a real date. I don't go on a date when a man doesn't give me a good feeling either :)

So... no, nothing to hide. Just make a woman feel good, safe, cherished etc. and drop the mistrust.

I don’t think you realize how difficult it is, for men using these sites, to find someone to talk to who isn’t pretending. These sites are flooded with fake female profiles belonging to con artists in Russia. So, I hope you realize that the distrust is probably not against you (or any individual woman) personally, it’s just a tough situation. Lonely men are tired of getting preyed upon just as much as their female counterparts.
Even so, me personally, I still like to give things a chance until they ask for money or send me the sad story about their humble life in their poor Russian village.

It's the same for women.
And in a way worse as we also have to deal with men who are after sex only. They make us believe they're up for a real relationship, but they aren't.
Emotionally unavailable men, players, men who don't commit and have lord knows how many other irons in the fire while pretending you're the only one. Men who just don't feel it for you but do like your company, sex, attention etc. All the while you think you're going somewhere, working on a future together.

And then there are also the fakes who only want a green card, money, and so on.
And you think you have it bad?!
Get out of your victim role. It's difficult for everyone, it takes your intuition and common sense to navigate through.

Maybe you should drop the whole Men are this or that
men should do this, men should do that.
We are people, just the same. you seem biased based on gender........
If you cant see that, then i wonder at the integrity of your belief system.
drop the gender bias. It's base thinking.....and does no one any good..stop attacking us.

Me having a gender bias, that's funny.
You've spend enough time here now to see that most men here are biased, constantly knocking women, are anti-woman, projecting their past stuff on all women etc etc.
I'm not attacking men either.
I explained why I don't easily video chat which is personal choice and nothing to do with anti-man or gender bashing.
And I must add that I see that men behaviour mostly here, not so much on Dutch dating sites from Dutch men. I've said that before, it seems to differ per country and culture.
But you believe what you wish.

So did pretty much anything after that...

Yeah, I’m kind of supposing you might not have read that last thing I wrote there, about still liking to give things a chance. People stuck in victim mentality don’t really do that. They hide. So don’t worry about me. I might not be getting very far but I’m still railroadin’, as my granddad used to say.

If you are interested in each other then you will do what ever it takes to progress your connection . That may not be immediate .. Trust takes time to build .

The online dating world is challenging ...Some men associate video chats with a cam girl experience or a reason to get overly intimate . There is nothing worse than a booty call or conversations that ALWAYS turn sexual when you just wanted to chat . At some point sexual intimacy is part of that progression but forcing that too soon or making someone feel that is your only interest will seldom end well .

I think it is better if a man asks a woman how she feels about talking on the phone or video chatting rather than pressuring her into doing so . Her answer will help him understand where she is at . If she has no interest in doing either at some point , then he can choose to end the connection and move on . Trust is important but so too is chemistry. That involves more than messsging . I can understand why some women are more cautious online than men . However they need to be reasonable too and understand that establishing legitimacy is part of the trust building process .