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| Topic: Sleeping differences | |
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I need 9 hours sleep. My first husband was the same, he needed 9 hours sleep too. But my second husband needed three hours sleep, so he was up all the time wanting companionship and I could not satisfy his need for that, so he chatted online all night.
Is this important? To me it is. Sleep patterns can have a detrimental affect on your marriage. He felt lonely, I thought he was not normal. How many hours do you sleep each night? |
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I sleep around 4hrs each night.
When I was married I just got out of bed and did chores so I didnβt have to do them when I got home from work. My ex could sleep anywhere at anytime so he was never disturbed. |
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I sleep for six hours... even thru an earthquake..... and soundly ...and I rarely talk online to friends if , I am in a kinda relationship!!! I feel it's like cheating .... yeah ! I know I' m kinda stupid like that , but it's just me being me !!!!
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9 hours? That's what I get in a whole week
 Okay, it's a bit better atm, but this might be because of all the painkillers I am taking. But a proper night sleep and having Anxiety does not go well together anyway 
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9 hours? That's what I get in a whole week Okay, it's a bit better atm, but this might be because of all the painkillers I am taking. But a proper night sleep and having Anxiety does not go well together anyway Omg!!! I have anxiety, but it managed by meds. Are you on the right meds? I have CPTSD and take lorazapam/ativan for daytime and half a sleeping pill at night. Seems unfair. Is your meds enough? |
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I sleep around 4hrs each night. When I was married I just got out of bed and did chores so I didnβt have to do them when I got home from work. My ex could sleep anywhere at anytime so he was never disturbed. Oh wow. Has it been like that all your life? You are very considerate. I always felt pressure to keep my husband company. |
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I sleep for six hours... even thru an earthquake..... and soundly ...and I rarely talk online to friends if , I am in a kinda relationship!!! I feel it's like cheating .... yeah ! I know I' m kinda stupid like that , but it's just me being me !!!! Frankly Spooky, I did not like awaking to find him on the phone to some female from God knows where. 6 hours is a decent amount of sleep. I could work with that 
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9 hours? That's what I get in a whole week Okay, it's a bit better atm, but this might be because of all the painkillers I am taking. But a proper night sleep and having Anxiety does not go well together anyway Omg!!! I have anxiety, but it managed by meds. Are you on the right meds? I have CPTSD and take lorazapam/ativan for daytime and half a sleeping pill at night. Seems unfair. Is your meds enough? I refuse to take meds, bar Valerian. I want to get rid of the cause and not numbing the symptoms 
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9 hours? That's what I get in a whole week Okay, it's a bit better atm, but this might be because of all the painkillers I am taking. But a proper night sleep and having Anxiety does not go well together anyway Omg!!! I have anxiety, but it managed by meds. Are you on the right meds? I have CPTSD and take lorazapam/ativan for daytime and half a sleeping pill at night. Seems unfair. Is your meds enough? I refuse to take meds, bar Valerian. I want to get rid of the cause and not numbing the symptoms Easier said than done. |
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I sleep around 4hrs each night. When I was married I just got out of bed and did chores so I didnβt have to do them when I got home from work. My ex could sleep anywhere at anytime so he was never disturbed. Oh wow. Has it been like that all your life? You are very considerate. I always felt pressure to keep my husband company. Yep, for around 40 yrs or so now. Itβs the norm for me as I donβt know any different. My mum says my dad was the same and she thinks itβs genetic. Who knows? |
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Thru my life I worked many wierd shifts.
My sleep periods ranged anywhere from 3 hours a night to 12 hours a day. The X was a dutiful wife. She always saw me off to work and greeted mt when I got home. It didn't matter the time of day. My gf right now goes to bed around 9pm every night. She gets up around 4 or 5 am. I got to bed around midnight or 1 am (unless I am lost in a movie). I get up around 7 am. Thing is, I wake multiple times during my sleep periods (can't sleep in pain). I take my night meds around 9-10 pm. One of them is melatonin. I also take two acetaminophen PMs. I also take 4 other Rx drugs prescribed for bedtime. It takes till nearly 1 am for those to affect me enough to be able to fall asleep. When my gf goes to bed at 9pm sometimes I wonder why but I realize she is conditioned to be that way. I accept her at face value and no longer have fears from jealousy. I don't mind her being on social media and talking to other men. She is with me because she wants to be with me. That's enough for me. If this changes for either of us, it will be the end of the relationship but not the end of friendship. We are two grown intelligent adults and neither of us is interested in playing childish games. Next Subject: Poop Stink Can you tolerate your partner's bathroom odors and does it cause you to have issues with your relationship? Alternative Subject: Hard Knocks Does your partner knock at your door or just walk right in? Does this cause problems in your relationship? To me, sleeping differences ranks right along with those two subjects. The real issue of this thread is trust. Not only the ability to trust your partner when you are not present but whether your partner is trustworthy when you are not present. I suspect sleep patterns is but the tip of that iceberg. |
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9 hours? That's what I get in a whole week Okay, it's a bit better atm, but this might be because of all the painkillers I am taking. But a proper night sleep and having Anxiety does not go well together anyway Omg!!! I have anxiety, but it managed by meds. Are you on the right meds? I have CPTSD and take lorazapam/ativan for daytime and half a sleeping pill at night. Seems unfair. Is your meds enough? I refuse to take meds, bar Valerian. I want to get rid of the cause and not numbing the symptoms Easier said than done. I know. But now I have a very good psychologist. And this time it is not limited to 6 sessions with 3 months waiting in between. So I am slowly but steadily getting back on track ... of course with setbacks, like this awful road accident 
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I used to work night shifts for 4 years, so there was no such thing as a night's sleep lol, but I slept 2-3 hours in the daytime.
Now I go to bed at around 8pm and wake up a couple of hours later, then go back to sleep until 4.30am. My ex husband didn't work so he slept all day 
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I sleep about 7 hours each night, sometimes a little less. I've never really noticed an incompatibility with a partner's sleep, so I guess they probably slept about the same amount of time, or maybe a little longer.
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No fix times of sleeping but waking up before office titimes 3 hours earlier in morning as 1 hours workout over health then refreshing an get ready to work.. no matter whatever time i sleep.. except holiday mode
 As single so does not requires stupid stuff to surf in mindAs at present i have only one love in my life an my mostly times is spending with her an left is mingle games   Enjoy Life
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Thu 12/09/21 08:38 AM
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Thru my life I worked many wierd shifts. My sleep periods ranged anywhere from 3 hours a night to 12 hours a day. The X was a dutiful wife. She always saw me off to work and greeted mt when I got home. It didn't matter the time of day. My gf right now goes to bed around 9pm every night. She gets up around 4 or 5 am. I got to bed around midnight or 1 am (unless I am lost in a movie). I get up around 7 am. Thing is, I wake multiple times during my sleep periods (can't sleep in pain). I take my night meds around 9-10 pm. One of them is melatonin. I also take two acetaminophen PMs. I also take 4 other Rx drugs prescribed for bedtime. It takes till nearly 1 am for those to affect me enough to be able to fall asleep. When my gf goes to bed at 9pm sometimes I wonder why but I realize she is conditioned to be that way. I accept her at face value and no longer have fears from jealousy. I don't mind her being on social media and talking to other men. She is with me because she wants to be with me. That's enough for me. If this changes for either of us, it will be the end of the relationship but not the end of friendship. We are two grown intelligent adults and neither of us is interested in playing childish games. Next Subject: Poop Stink Can you tolerate your partner's bathroom odors and does it cause you to have issues with your relationship? Alternative Subject: Hard Knocks Does your partner knock at your door or just walk right in? Does this cause problems in your relationship? To me, sleeping differences ranks right along with those two subjects. The real issue of this thread is trust. Not only the ability to trust your partner when you are not present but whether your partner is trustworthy when you are not present. I suspect sleep patterns is but the tip of that iceberg. Possibly about trust? If you have a trustworthy spouse, you have no problem, no matter how long they are awake as you are asleep. I guess unintentionally I gave too much information and showed his character. I have tried very hard not to disrespect his memory on here, but truth is truth. Iceberg now melting, being more free and learning to trust again Sage. . |
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I also need much sleep. 8,5 hrs minimum. I go to bed and set the alarm for 9 hrs later and it usually boils down to anything in between 8,5 & 9 hours.
Any less and I'm not fully rested. If a partner needs less sleep I expect him to deal with that himself. It's not my problem and shouldn't become that either. But yes, it does matter to me. It's similar with someone being an early riser. I think I'd find that more difficult to deal with and would affect compatibility more. I'm a late riser, go to bed later as well. I feel best late afternoon and in the evenings. If I need to rise early I feel totally totalled and I feel like a zombie. So if a guy is an early riser it effects a lot: you don't have breakfast together, don't go to bed together, don't have interaction when I feel at my best etc. etc. |
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I also need much sleep. 8,5 hrs minimum. I go to bed and set the alarm for 9 hrs later and it usually boils down to anything in between 8,5 & 9 hours. Any less and I'm not fully rested. If a partner needs less sleep I expect him to deal with that himself. It's not my problem and shouldn't become that either. But yes, it does matter to me. It's similar with someone being an early riser. I think I'd find that more difficult to deal with and would affect compatibility more. I'm a late riser, go to bed later as well. I feel best late afternoon and in the evenings. If I need to rise early I feel totally totalled and I feel like a zombie. So if a guy is an early riser it effects a lot: you don't have breakfast together, don't go to bed together, don't have interaction when I feel at my best etc. etc. I honestly think it is important. When doing our 7 months long distant relationship before we met, I felt like I had no space, because he was always awake. In one sense it was nice, in another, it was awful. Almost like controlling my every move. I think space is hugely important to reflect and the constant demand of your time is not healthy. The woman I am today would not have tolerated my past. But we do what we do when naive. |
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I also need much sleep. 8,5 hrs minimum. I go to bed and set the alarm for 9 hrs later and it usually boils down to anything in between 8,5 & 9 hours. Any less and I'm not fully rested. If a partner needs less sleep I expect him to deal with that himself. It's not my problem and shouldn't become that either. But yes, it does matter to me. It's similar with someone being an early riser. I think I'd find that more difficult to deal with and would affect compatibility more. I'm a late riser, go to bed later as well. I feel best late afternoon and in the evenings. If I need to rise early I feel totally totalled and I feel like a zombie. So if a guy is an early riser it effects a lot: you don't have breakfast together, don't go to bed together, don't have interaction when I feel at my best etc. etc. I honestly think it is important. When doing our 7 months long distant relationship before we met, I felt like I had no space, because he was always awake. In one sense it was nice, in another, it was awful. Almost like controlling my every move. I think space is hugely important to reflect and the constant demand of your time is not healthy. The woman I am today would not have tolerated my past. But we do what we do when naive. Yes, I cannot handle someone breathing down my neck all day long either. I could in the past, when I was still very insecure, had low self-esteem etc. At that time it was like a buoy. But in another relationship I learnt to stand on my own feet and I discovered that I need personal space. I couldn't be with anyone who needs my time, attention, energy a lot of the time. I don't mind having someone around me, I actually quite like that, I don't need to be alone. As long as they do not require my attention all the time so I can do my own thing and recharge the battery. So I need someone with approx. the same desire of alone & together. There are also men that want very little time together, maybe just once a fortnight. I can't live with that either. |
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I sleep like a baby
 Have never taken sleeping pills or benzodiazepines . I am sure you are aware both have a sedative effect , can be addictive and have several unwanted side effects . Normal functioning can be compromised , especially driving and concentration . Perhaps talk to your psychologist about safe weaning . Insomnia does fluctuate and does not always require medication . Agree with Tom sounds more like a trust issue that sleeping incompatibility . |
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