Yes I have met one on a date and have a couple of new friends that may or may not lead to a meet up so not all fakes in here

In my experience even guys who have specified wanting a relationship waste no time turning chat into sexting. Nothing wrong with that between 2 consenting adults but it's not really getting to know someone with a view to developing a real relationship is it?

But if I contacted a guy with intimate encounter on his profile I know to expect a sexually orientated chat.

On my way to the airport and feeling excited and happy !!!!!

I guess I'm just impatient to move on. I don't want to fall into the trap of getting nostalgic over my ex. But there's no rush. I just feel a bit uneasy. Where I live there are a lot of predator types who think a newly divorced or seperated woman is easy pickings and desperate

Thanks Monik and yes we seem to have much in common. Don't know why you couldn't message me?? wow both rushed into marriage but lasted 21 years :) So we are good advertisements for how LDR can work

Bruised and battered

Thanks - I'm beginning to realise I'm a bit too up-front maybe and open to misinterpretation

I'm not having any problem with getting chats and views - the problem is when we get to the subject of me returning abroad. And I fully appreciate that. Why would they want to be bothered? relationships are hard enough without that obstacle in the way right from the start.

I kind of regret bringing up the subject

Ciretom

Wow thanks for the in-depth analysis of my situation and obviously unreasonable expectations. I'm a pretty open person and have laid bare some factors (but far from all) of my life to ask for advice but don't think by reading my post you know me or who I am as an individual. Whilst I might agree with some of your analysis you made a number of statements that made me cringe as they are so out of line with my character and values.

I never meant to imply that I expected a man to cross the ocean to meet me. My expectation is I would meet up and spend time with them in the UK and if we hit it off depending on their circumstances and if he desired he could make a new life with me abroad. If his circumstances didn't allow that I would return to the UK. My own circumstances presently do not allow me to return to the UK full-time. His bravery would be giving it a chance knowing the obstacles are there.

I don't think I'm asking for the moon. When I met my husband there was no internet with skype and messengers, no mobiles, just snail mail and very expensive land line calls. But we coped. Modern technology makes long distance relationships so much easier.

"As soon as they've decided they've paid you enough, they're going to start giving you less while demanding more. Assuming you haven't grown tired and dropped them for someone new by then."

I am so astonished by that statement. How did I ever come across as a cougar desiring a toyboy who would tire of him and move onto someone new. OMG if that was the person I am I'm in the perfect country so all this angst would be unnecessary. Young gigolos are ten a penny in Turkey and it's the last thing I'd want.

"Everything kinda reads like you are trying to get people to validate the idea you have of yourself that you're brave, while looking for a human cat."

Believe me I'm brave. I don't seek validation from anyone in here because I know exactly who I am and what I've had to deal with. I have been through hell this year and I keep fighting. Yes I'm scared of the dating arena but I'm trying to face my own insecurities. But dating is just one of the challenges in my life and not the most important. I certainly don't want a human pet. I am happy with my cat as a pet.

Thanks again - I guess the simple answer was Yes you're asking the impossible

Oh dear is that the impression I give? Uptight?

I'd better re-phrase that. I don't NEED a man. But I'd like to fall in love again one day. I'd like someone to snuggle up with in bed. I've got loads of great friends for hugging and affection but they are just not up for spooning

I laughed out loud at "we're not getting dropped behind enemy lines, it's just a relationship we're talking about." True you're right but I am still in recovery from 21 years of "just a relationship" and it's really scary territory to me. I don't know what I'm doing - all I know is I'd rather be brave (that word again) and put myself out there than lock myself away with my cats knitting scarves

I agree. You're absolutely right. I'm overthinking this - that's probably my biggest fault. I'm going to work on that. Just going to try and stay in the moment

Thank you - I appreciate you taking the time to share your opinion.

Thank you for your input so far my friends.

I suppose it seems early days and maybe I come across as been in a hurry. But my marriage has been over for years. It just was a case of having the courage to end it. Timing is not important. I am enjoying my life and embracing the new experience of being single again. I just wonder if my unusual circumstances will put most guys off??

The seperation issue - yes that's probably a problem but my husband is the one holding off. I am pushing to get it all done and dusted so we are both totally free.

I'm not saying that if for example I met a guy in the UK I would not move back to the UK to give it a fair chance. But equally why shouldn't I hope for a man willing to join me in my life?? I've crossed oceans for love - it would be nice to meet someone as brave.

But I'm realistic. The practicalities are difficult.

I'm not ashamed to say I want a man in my life though. Maybe I just need a cuddle-buddy

Treat you Better - Shawn Mendes

wow there are soooo many!!!

Sign Your Name - Terence Trent Darby

Expensive meals can never match the joy of a picnic on the beach

Hoping for some honest advice from you wise ones

Here goes.

I've been seperated since March and it's definitely over with divorce pending. I was married 21 years so it's been and still is very hard to recover from. But I'm willing to move on and hope to love again one day.

My problem is my life is pretty complicated. I live in Turkey mostly but have been in the UK quite a chunk of this year. I went on a date for first time in 21 years and kind of didn't give it a chance but we've stayed friends. He brought up the issue of me going back to Turkey (I travel tomorrow) and I wont be back till xmas.

I might meet the man of my dreams in Turkey. Who knows? But to be honest there are very few unmarried ex-pats especially in the age group I would prefer. And I don't think a relationship with a Turk would work - been there, got the t-shirt etc.

So am I asking too much for a guy to get to know me by text or telephone or Skype with a view to meeting up sometime in the future?

I don't have any kids but that doesn't mean I don't understand how children and grandchildren will be a big factor in any relationship I have.

I'm an adventurer and don't follow convention. When I met my hubby it was love at first sight - a holiday romance - but I gave up a well paid job to fly across the world to be with him without any hesitation and lived in pretty squalid conditions coping with cultural differences and difficult in-laws. But I don't regret any of it. For me life is to be grabbed with both hands!!!

I need a man who can take a risk and go for it. Someone who is brave and not worrying about every fine detail of the future. Does this type of man exist or am I living in cloud cuckoo land?

I like what you wrote there. It's true that those 'disastrous' dates we chuckle about afforded us a story to tell, an experience to smile about and share as an anecdote. Indeed the worst dates are the ones so lacking lustre we can't even remember their names or a snippet of the tedious conversation :)

I'm on fire - Bruce again.
'got a bad desire'

internet steals too much of my time

Feeling overwhelmed with my huge 'to do' list

Sadness - Enigma nah turned that off -
back to Bruce with 'Tougher than the rest'