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| Topic: I think my son is gay | |
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! |
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he is normal. teenagers do many things that confuse their parents
having a family and children doesn't always happen in the traditional man and woman procreate blood offspring. if he is gay, he could become involved with a man who wants to adopt children. if he is straight he could become involved with a woman who cannot conceive children stop worrying about his future and enjoy the time you have with him today. rest assured that you raised him to know right from wrong and have kept him safe with a roof over his head, food in his belly, and clothes on his back |
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! I went through it too hon. Unfortunately, there is only so much we can control. Environment and society have a great influence on our kids too and they will usually want to fit into circumstances they have learned to feel oomfort with. At 15, there is not much left to do. Puberty is confusing and clouded in judgment. I found out initially by checking out teen sites like myspace and youtube to find out he was identifying as 'bisexual',,,eventually he went to college with three roommates who were homosexual, and now thats how he identifies himself. Just let him know he is loved and continue to try and raise him consistently within your values and beliefs. Its the best you can do. |
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just love him
give him the freedom to be who he is and whoever that is, just love him |
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From what I read, you have the best advice. I have nothing to add.
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The best thing you can do for him is continue to love him as you always have. If he is gay, you're not going to be able to change that.
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! Just be happy he's not a tweaker or dealing crack!!!! SERIOUSLY!!! |
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! You said..... "I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as ANY normal grown up man one day." "I don't know what to do."... See him! Take "any" out of your thinking and replace it with "only"........gay or straight, both are normal... There is nothing to do except continue to love, nurture, guide, and support your son ..... 
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! Men need a male role model, without one, he is behaving as a woman. I suggest you encourage him to be friends with more boys and buy him a copy of "No More Mr Nice Guy". |
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I knew a boy in high school who shot himself because he was gay.
He had never had sex with anyone, he just knew he liked boys. He wouldn't tell his parents because he always knew it was a sin in their eyes...he choose to die instead of live and have his father's heart broken and the stigma of not being 'normal' His name is Lee and I resented his father for 15 years. I know a family who had a 20 something son in and out of jail for years. The last contact I had with any of them has been 10 years now..he was in jail then at about 27. She had a stepson who was married to a black woman, a beautiful and kind black woman. she said to us one time..." Well Ricky may have his issues but at least he's 'normal'..I'd rather see him in jail than married to a (n word) What a horrible thing for a mother to say and actually believe! As a mother of 3 grown sons..I would rather have them know I love them no matter what than have them so desperate as to take their own lives. If their relationship is healthy and they are "happy" this is by far better than rotting in a prison cell. At the end of the day we want our children to be happy.... |
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! Don't push him away. |
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! Men need a male role model, without one, he is behaving as a woman. I suggest you encourage him to be friends with more boys and buy him a copy of "No More Mr Nice Guy". I raised my boys alone, they didn't and don't act like women. They are all strait and get dirty, play and watch sports and do 'guy' stuff. I agree boys need male role models and the book is also a good idea... if he is gay it isn't going to make a difference he will still be gay. |
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! Men need a male role model, without one, he is behaving as a woman. I suggest you encourage him to be friends with more boys and buy him a copy of "No More Mr Nice Guy". I raised my boys alone, they didn't and don't act like women. They are all strait and get dirty, play and watch sports and do 'guy' stuff. I agree boys need male role models and the book is also a good idea... if he is gay it isn't going to make a difference he will still be gay. "No More Mr Nice Guy" can help straights or gays. It's not about changing sexual orientation, it's about making males act like men. |
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I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! Men need a male role model, without one, he is behaving as a woman. I suggest you encourage him to be friends with more boys and buy him a copy of "No More Mr Nice Guy". I raised my boys alone, they didn't and don't act like women. They are all strait and get dirty, play and watch sports and do 'guy' stuff. I agree boys need male role models and the book is also a good idea... if he is gay it isn't going to make a difference he will still be gay. "No More Mr Nice Guy" can help straights or gays. It's not about changing sexual orientation, it's about making males act like men. yeah, I'm familiar with the book...i endorse the book since i happen to be fond of a strong nice guys. My point was that IF he is gay, even reading the book may not change some of the feminine behaviors his mother is seeing. Some gay man are just more feminine in their movements. |
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I lost both of my children to auto accidents...both were in their 20's
all I can say is love them while they are with you......I miss mine so damn much!!!!! |
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I lost both of my children to auto accidents...both were in their 20's all I can say is love them while they are with you......I miss mine so damn much!!!!! (((((((((((Boonie))))))))))) 
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Edited by
Ladylid2012
on
Tue 11/29/11 09:51 AM
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I lost both of my children to auto accidents...both were in their 20's all I can say is love them while they are with you......I miss mine so damn much!!!!!  
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I agree with Boonedoggy Love them while you have them no matter what thats most importent.Sorry for your lost Boonedoggy.Martin
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He seems wise from how he hangs out with ladies. It is possible that he won't grow up with a lot of hangups. But if he does he will have friends to help him with them. He is being a 15 year old and not ready to get married, settle down and have kids. I am impressed. Good job on parenting him.
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My condolences, boonedoggy. I know how it feels to lose somebody you love.
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