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| Topic: Silent Treatment/Shutting Down-Maturity or Immaturity? Good | |
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I don't get why people do the silent thing...to me it's just more unfinished business with no point...but it drives me nuts when people do it...it's leaves ya with a constant hmmmmm   smiles... that's why they do it, to create the demand in others that they speak! a way of creating silent "control". so the one who cares, has been controlled. That may be why some people do it. Other people do it for other reasons, like claiming space for themselves, to find peace. Silence can be a form of manipulation, but demanding that someone engage with you is coercive. indeed! as posted above... "silent demands and spoken demands both destroy any good that is or was". |
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Edited by
navygirl
on
Sat 12/06/14 05:08 PM
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wat up with me and u rigth lil mama     You have got to be kidding? Guess he missed the topic, or overly exited?? Mr Cool cleshay  LOL, I am biting my tongue in saying what I really want to say but yeah; he is missing something.  You did it navygirl he came on here flabergasted, tonguetied after your response! Screwed him up so bad he forgot to turn his hat backwards. Shows me you "still got it" mama  Aww; you still think this old gal has got it?   Hell yes. you still have a Heart it may have some ice crystals around it but it can thaw! Damn i pick my friends good!!((YOU GOT IT)) Nah my heart is made of stone. I was talking to a friend that has been married going on 29 years and he says occasionally he and his wife give each other the silent treatment but usually as a cooling off period. Contrary to what most say here on this forum; it hasn't hurt their marriage or relationship at all. Personally I have given and received the silent treatment and have found there is no point getting upset over something so trifle. After all its not a life and death situation.
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we don't always have to speak what we feel, I personally think more gets done when we take TIME to regroup and truly put thought into what we are going to say
its not cowardice,, its much harder in fact than just blurting out whatever is on ones mind,,, |
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we don't always have to speak what we feel, I personally think more gets done when we take TIME to regroup and truly put thought into what we are going to say its not cowardice,, its much harder in fact than just blurting out whatever is on ones mind,,, I agree with this 100%. |
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Edited by
Awatersign
on
Sun 12/07/14 08:41 AM
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Taking a little time to regroup ,ain't exactly the same thing as that "childish silent treatment",there is a certain point when it becomes childish,and while other people deal with it differently,I think our own discretion can tell us which is which!!
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Taking a little time to regroup ,ain't exactly the same thing as that "childish silent treatment",there is a certain point when it becomes childish,and while other people deal with it differently,I think our own discretion can tell us which is which!! who gets to determine the proper time someone else needs to regroup? isn't that just as childish and bullyish as 'the silent treatment'? it doesn't hurt us to speak at a later time,,when someone else does not wish to speak, ,conversation means both parties should be consenting,, if anything constructive is to come from it,, |
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There is a difference between silent treatment and time out, some people need to cool off only because if you say something in a fit of anger you can not take it back at a later date. Whatever was said cannot be forgotten and will always hurt. You need to realize that there are two sides to every story and you need to be able to take the time to think of the others side.
When the other person says to you sorry hon didn't mean it, it is already to late and you can't erase the hurt you have inflicted. Believe me I know, my favorite was always to hold up a hand while walking away and say hold that thought come back in a couple of hours after time for reflection, open a bottle of red and continue the discussion in a calm manner. I don't have to worry about that anymore as he is no longer with us |
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Taking a little time to regroup ,ain't exactly the same thing as that "childish silent treatment",there is a certain point when it becomes childish,and while other people deal with it differently,I think our own discretion can tell us which is which!! who gets to determine the proper time someone else needs to regroup? isn't that just as childish and bullyish as 'the silent treatment'? it doesn't hurt us to speak at a later time,,when someone else does not wish to speak, ,conversation means both parties should be consenting,, if anything constructive is to come from it,, 
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Oh and also,has anyone notice that some people uses this "silent treatment /regroup"for their own personal gains????Weelll ummm,yeah,it happens!!!!
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Edited by
msharmony
on
Sun 12/07/14 10:19 AM
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I still think if someone doesn't want to talk, that is their feeilngs and they are as entitled to them as those who 'feel' like they should talk,,,,
its two ways, if the other way ain't willing, go on your way with something else its been my experience that no one stops talking FOREVER, at some point they will, when THEY decide THEY WANT TO,,, I don't see the difficulty,,, but then, I have always been just as comfortable doing my own thing as interacting with someone else,,, |
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Silent treatment is a form of sanction that involves ignoring a paticular individual,neither speaking to that person nor responding to his or her words.We have someone around us (a partner,spouse,family members) who is fond of doing this or possibly we are the one that gives people the 'treatment'.personally,i think its wrong and even wickedness.I feel issues should be resolved ASAP,even if anyone should give the silent treatment....maximum of 5minutes to cool off and get your speech together.What do ya think? Does it help/affect a family/relationship? It's definitely immature and doesn't help. |
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I don't get why people do the silent thing...to me it's just more unfinished business with no point...but it drives me nuts when people do it...it's leaves ya with a constant hmmmmm smiles... that's why they do it, to create the demand in others that they speak! a way of creating silent "control". so the one who cares, has been controlled. Like I said, not a mature way of handling things. Not someone I'd like to have around. |
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I still think if someone doesn't want to talk, that is their feeilngs and they are as entitled to them as those who 'feel' like they should talk,,,, its two ways, if the other way ain't willing, go on your way with something else its been my experience that no one stops talking FOREVER, at some point they will, when THEY decide THEY WANT TO,,, I don't see the difficulty,,, but then, I have always been just as comfortable doing my own thing as interacting with someone else,,, |
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I just don't feel its 'communication' if its not consentual
forced or obligated communication is no better than no communication at all |
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op ...going to be the temperament of the person ... lets take for instance I was out in a line the other day... and I said what I was thinking out loud so I apologies to those around me ... but if u are in a heated discussion with someone ... then it is not always easy to shut down or go to another rm where they just follow you and keep yelling ...when trying to give yourself time to calm down... but the silent treatment can only work for so long ... an have always felt better to discuss in a civilized manner if possible with out angrier ... which goes back to what kind of temperament someone has ...
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I still think if someone doesn't want to talk, that is their feeilngs and they are as entitled to them as those who 'feel' like they should talk,,,, its two ways, if the other way ain't willing, go on your way with something else its been my experience that no one stops talking FOREVER, at some point they will, when THEY decide THEY WANT TO,,, I don't see the difficulty,,, but then, I have always been just as comfortable doing my own thing as interacting with someone else,,, This is spot on. When a person is very upset; they will do the silent treatment not to punish you but its because they are extremely mad and I think the old saying is if you have nothing nice to say; don't say anything at all. When tempers flare; people will say some very nasty and even hateful things that not only do they regret but can never be taken back. I found when a man gives me the silent treatment; I leave him be and let him take the time to sort things out and when he is ready to talk; he will. I found the more you pressure a person to talk; the less chance they will talk or they will lash out at you; some even do it physically. Its another form of nagging personally. If the person does this for a short time; I found its best to just ride it out until they can gather their thoughts; but if it goes on for days and days; then there is something more serious going on. |
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Everyone of us have lived a different live, different experience growing up, different people influence our live (positive or negative). You will probably find that most people who shut down or show signs of a silent treatment have experienced abuse in their childhood.
How long these abusesive issues continue through an individual's life may vary depending on what all happened and what is being concealed. If no violence is involved in the relationship then do jump to conclusions that the relationship is over. Your partner may really need someone to listen to them and understand how their feeling and see their life experiences. These experiences may involve more than one expects. Even the closet people may still influence them in their adulthood, because of issues unresolved in life. In general the most of humans do not seek harmful experiences, but want peace in there life. Addictions are a hugh indicator of poor life experiences and this includs someone who smokes tobacco. Example: Tobacco smoker starts at young age due to stress. Try's quiting, but is unable, because of repeated stressful moments. Cause and affect! Does not mean they are not able to quit, but tobacco is a stress reliever and IMPRINTED upon them at a young age. A person from their past that has neglected them can cause a person to begin smoking again. A partner unexpectedly (not knowing what happened) could trigger a stressful moment, causing their partner to reachout for an IMPRINTED stress reliever developed at a young age. I have used this word ""IMPRINT"" before in topics. What it means is behaviour is IMPRINTED when growing up and the problem has never been correct, or address appropriately. This does continue through life, but one choses not to accept behaviour like that in their life (example: do you take back a cheating partner?). As a child you have no where to escape and can only find ways of alleviating the emotional discomfort, and this can carry on throughout someone's adulthood. Care, love and understand can resolve help resolve the problem and the individual wanting too make positive changes to their life. |
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Is it considered the silent treatment if I go fishing in the middle of an argument with my girlfriend?? Used to really piss my ex off.
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Is it considered the silent treatment if I go fishing in the middle of an argument with my girlfriend?? Used to really piss my ex off. This also happened to me!! A (male) friend and i would go Fishing about 1/4 of a mile from where i lived until she cooled down (which never happened)! Then she went around saying I (was Gay)? Back to the subject now- If Anyone uses Sex,Money, Children; anything to CONTROL another Person in a Relationship its very visible as (control) and not just a disagreement!! Agreeing to disagree is only Human anything else is (Controlling) not used in a Relationship!!! Only a Healthy Relationship will survive by (compromise) talking out a problem!! Anything else IS CONTROLLING and i don't care how much you Sugarcoat it to look as if you are the only one with a BRAIN in a Relationship!!
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