Good day my fellow people of mingle2, I want to start by acknowledging my loyal "Opinion Minions" that's give me the energy to keep posting the hot tea from my kitchen to the world. shots out to all my minions but I want to hit you over the head with a tricky topic which I very curious for your feedback. After the my last forum on "Tattoo Regrets" which was a hit with you guys but go in hard this time. Okay, what I'm about to post is not based on me or anyone but based on scenario. Let's say you dating a young lady or guy , & like my words in last forum you in love, you feel the butterflies in your soul, you think about them all day even when a song you like on the radio comes on all you picture is them. By now its getting serious, you ready to make it official & become a relationship. But wait!...wait! before you & your lover sit & talk he/ or she wants to come out with a little secret. Okay, what could be possibly that bad ...well, your lover comes out & tell you they want to be with you & even fell in love with you but they come out tell you they had a full sex change literally~! everything snipped..tucked rolled whatever ! legally they are the opposite sex. In your mind, for example, if she was a guy at one point , the mentality of a male will always be with us to a point. But on the other hand its legally a woman & vice versa if she had a legalize sex change. they are the opposite sex in every way. The way they talks, the clothes they wear, the heels or Nikes to prove it. Even how they treat you like its natural& great. Now ask yourself this do you accept your lover with this new revelation of truth? or to you shunned them, break it off with them, get angry, even assault them for deception. I also told myself that's a hard cup of tea to swallow, but that would be a path I have to cross for the answer. so my friends, tell me what would you do if this was your scenario or maybe you know somebody that's going thru this. Lets remember if you would or won't accept this doesn't mean you a certain way or mean, it an honest approach to a crazy situation....so spill the beans, tell me what you think.....can't wait to heaer !

she should have been honest from the start. Having kids and stuff that will now be a problem but if you love each other you can work it out

I don't reckon i got anything to say about transformers.

Just wanted to say Hi, mom333

okay,,,,hellow....lol

transformers that's a new one. Hi you sweety

Hello all lol

okay....lol

I'd accept that. The only problem for ME, would be can they function properly in the bedroom department. After all, whatever made me want them in the first place, isn't going to just suddenly diminish. They're past has no relevance to our future.

I dont believe there is any way to be a 'woman' except being born with ovaries/vagina, no penis

there is no way to be a 'man' except being born with penis , and no ovaries or vagina

there are a million types of dress , action, and talk that both men and women can have that doesnt change their anatomy of being a man or woman,, n my eyes


so, yes, if I dated what I thought was a man and found out their natural anatomy was actually female,, I would cut it off (the romance that is,,lol),,,,probably as friends, but over just the same

No I wouldn't accept it at all. Sorry, I would think the same thing any man would think.... there was a d**k dangling from here at one time...doesn't exactly raise my pants. I would be gone.

I can not say what I would do for absolutely positive but I think being lied to would trump my empathy for the person having the right to be what they feel they are.

Sex change surgery is a long, painful, expensive process that almost always includes social counseling that stresses the importance of honesty and owning who you are.

To me someone who would knowingly let someone fall in love , not something the average person would miss, without giving me the private revelation would really hurt my feelings and make me feel they don't trust anyone and most specifically me.

The transgender people I know, very common in Atlanta and California, are very considerate about being honest with me and really it doesn't present a problem for me to see them as the sex they choose. I am not uncomfortable around "women" who have crossed but then I don't think I have ever been particularly uncomfortable about men either.

Since I learned the ability to "perform" has nothing to do with a person's over all masculinity/femininity or their ability to be a sexual partner in the most meaningful ways it just did not matter.

One of the most sexually provocative men I ever met could not have had the "typical" performance if his life depended on it but he literally made women swoon because he was in every other way the most manly guy in the room.

this is not a tough one at all, since when deception is considered love? i personally can handle dishonesty, if i was interested in a person who legally changed their sex then i would have seeked out such peson, that wicked and so wrong for a person to pretend to be something their are not in hopes of deceiving you in "Love" or whatever it is they was trying to achieve, i cant deal sorry i would walk away hurt and angry i would assault the person though, but it would cause alot of trust issues.

I don't believe in the whole concept of making a relationship "official."
Either communication and feelings are open and honest from the beginning, or they aren't.

If they aren't, then the only way the relationship is going to last is if both parties suck at communication and therefore accept it about each other.

Although if both people suck at communication it means "making it official" gesture or communication is ultimately pointless except as a rationalization and means to justify judging the other person for when it fails.


Confessions mean communication in the relationship sucks.
If they start treating me as a therapist, or they think their secret hasn't been influencing their indirect communication thereby throwing out mixed signals all along, then the relationship is pretty much doomed.


If they are coming out to tell me it means they are insecure about it.
If they are insecure about it then it would have influenced their indirect communication before then.
Indirect communication is responsible for most communication and relevant information.

If it was affecting them before, and they didn't tell me then, it means I either don't really care about them, at all, or what their indirect communication is telling me, or they lied to me about what's bothering them, what's on their mind, why they seemed scared or insecure or disinterested or distracted.

If they have to "confess" something it means communication sucks.


Which revelation?
That communication in the relationship up to this point was pretty much non existent, sucks, and it hasn't improved at all?
Or they used to have a penis?

Either way, no, I probably don't accept them, based on who I am now, as opposed to someone that would accept the parameters of your question (e.g. crap communication not being a big deal in a relationship).

Have you ever been around people/women/transgender that take hormones?
A lot to most of them seem like they are always suffering from PMS.
Hormone imbalance is a crazy thing to have to deal with on a constant basis.

Not to mention, do you have any idea how bad someone has to be mentally and emotionally in order to qualify for gender reassignment surgery?
People can't just walk into a plastic surgeons office and say "see this outie? I wanna innie," and the doctor says "oh kay, can I have your insurance card?"

Wow, ! really?

one or both of us will be going to jail that day...but i find that whole situation hard to believe it could ever happen with me...

I rarely agree with this guy bu I have to agree now.. Along with PacificSta this isn't something that happens over night and well if they can't own who and what they chose to become why would I care..
dishonesty is paramount in this situation...

I have to also I know for a fact I would never find myself in this situation since I know for a relationship with communication is a must

If shim was born a dood,
shim will always be a dood.

I can't read ALL of this.

Are there Cliff's notes?...

I've got real issues with dishonesty. That said, there are things about myself that I don't share. At least, 'til recently.

I can definitely understand the mindset that goes with this situation. 'If you knew this about me, you wouldn't feel the same - and I'm so afraid of losing that.'

Love and affection sneaks up on us sometimes. When it does show up and becomes vital, threats to that continuing become boogey-men.

For me, the fact that I found her appealing in the first place is not going to change because she's chosen to trust me with something so intimate. Quite the opposite, in fact. Walk a mile in those moccasins. How intimidating; how much insecurity and fear has been set aside in order to share that with you?

I don't know if knowin' that ahead of time would've been a deal breaker or not. I'm not the average bear. And I'm a bit more than kinky.

I do know that honesty, even late in coming, is worth its weight in gold.

There ARE, but Cliff now goes by Beth!