Community > Posts By > UrMissingLib

 
UrMissingLib's photo
Wed 08/03/16 07:44 AM


As long as you do no become "The Disability", relationships shouldn't be a problem with others. However, what cannot be predicted or controlled is the impact that your disability will have on another person. There are many people who operate within narrow intellectual parameters & will inaccurately project upon you, their own personal bias, fear, & insecurities. In essence, "They" will reject you, but that rejection isn't personal or about "you"-it's about "them". And, in many instances, its not a bad thing because many of those individuals are of the type & caliber that you don't want in your life. The major problem would seem to be that many folks who are afflicted with "Disabilities" began to lose a healthy relationship with themselves because they feel that they are not now- as they once were. That can be a valid assessment but the trick is to not impose a negitive judgement on that difference but to attempt to accept it for what it is. Just- "A Difference" that is niether "bad or good" but just different.



Thanks, Valeris. Great insight!
Yes, no one needs individuals who bring negative energy in life through bias and insecurities projection. Our prime purpose in life is to help others and if we can't help, at least we shouldn't hurt them.

Like any limitation in life, the worst happens when the challenge starts to define us. I believe disability simply means a different way of doing things or differently abled. Acceptance by self and those around us goes a long way towards a full and valuable life.

UrMissingLib's photo
Wed 08/03/16 07:25 AM



"Does disability reduce chances at true love?"

True love? No. Dating? Yes.

If a physical disability prevents a person from participating in activities, then the person will have difficulty getting a date.

If a physically-disabled person cannot work outside the home and depends on monthly checks from the government, then the person might not be able to afford to do the activities that a potential date would want to do.


Thanks, David.

What happens to true love overcomes all odds? Where true love exists, I believe there would be flexibility in dating to accommodate any limitation. How and where you date in this case would not be defined by the 'norm'. Rather, what works to offer comfort to both.

True love knows no boundary......


Yeah, but how would a woman know that a physically-disabled man is her "true love" if she won't give him a second look because of his physical and financial limitations?


Hi David,
Disability is not gender sensitive. So, a woman would also ask the same question. However, any man can have financial limitations. Sad to say, women are increasingly pegging love to financial status and putting many men at a disadvantage.

True love should first look at who you are, not what you are.

UrMissingLib's photo
Tue 08/02/16 04:23 PM

"Does disability reduce chances at true love?"

True love? No. Dating? Yes.

If a physical disability prevents a person from participating in activities, then the person will have difficulty getting a date.

If a physically-disabled person cannot work outside the home and depends on monthly checks from the government, then the person might not be able to afford to do the activities that a potential date would want to do.


Thanks, David.

What happens to true love overcomes all odds? Where true love exists, I believe there would be flexibility in dating to accommodate any limitation. How and where you date in this case would not be defined by the 'norm'. Rather, what works to offer comfort to both.

True love knows no boundary......

UrMissingLib's photo
Tue 08/02/16 04:08 PM

No. I have to disagree.

I think everybody on this site believes I'm PERFECT. No Flaws. laugh


Oh, don't break the good lol!

Thanks BG. We all have flaws. Some visible, and some invisible.


UrMissingLib's photo
Tue 08/02/16 04:02 PM

Does disability reduce chances at true love?

Depends on who you are.

Disability's, anything seen as a flaw by others will reduce your available dating pool.

If you're the type that sees dating, relationships, love, as a "numbers game," then a disability will reduce your chances.

If you're the type that holds a belief like "I know what I want! I won't settle!" then unless your standards are extremely low, your "chances" at love are going to be reduced.

If you're the type whose disability kinda defines you and mostly what your life is about then it's going to reduce chances at love.

"I think that everyone has something about themselves that they feel is their weakness... their 'disability.' And I'm certain we all have one, because I think of a disability as being anything which undermines our belief and confidence in our own abilities".

All she's saying is "everyone has insecurities."
Which should be common sense since things like "fear" exist.

The difference between insecurities and disabilities is disabilities exist 24/7 365.
Insecurities are usually situational.
Ask most introverts and they'll say they can be extroverts in certain situations. Lot's of people describe themselves as being able to be both an extrovert and introvert.
Someone without legs can't walk depending on the situation.




Thanks, Ciretom.

It wasn't about comparing disability with insecurity.

I may be wrong but you give the impression you would not give an equal opportunity at love to a person with a permanent condition.....disability.

Still, I respect your stand.

UrMissingLib's photo
Tue 08/02/16 03:43 PM


I will tell you there is a such thing as true love....I had I felt and I lost it.....it could have stayed but it had to go for some us just must grow in different direction like a branch. Sometimes loves changes and the people too. But to say true love doesn't exist honestly isn't true.

Op yes our own emotional, mental or even physical disabilities can make it harder to find love at times. But sometimes it's the reason you know someone truly loves you.


Thanks, Sikology. I concur.

And yes, some things would surely be pointers to why....


Sorry, Seakolony. I mis-spelt your name.

UrMissingLib's photo
Tue 08/02/16 03:34 PM


Whether the disability is real or just scars, I
think you need to accept yourself to be able
to love and get love in return.

Love doesn't cure anything.
It is the reason to look for cures.
Be whole, before you try to give away
part of yourself.

So you have something left, if the worst
happens.


Thanks, Soufie.

Well put.

UrMissingLib's photo
Tue 08/02/16 03:32 PM

I will tell you there is a such thing as true love....I had I felt and I lost it.....it could have stayed but it had to go for some us just must grow in different direction like a branch. Sometimes loves changes and the people too. But to say true love doesn't exist honestly isn't true.

Op yes our own emotional, mental or even physical disabilities can make it harder to find love at times. But sometimes it's the reason you know someone truly loves you.


Thanks, Sikology. I concur.

And yes, some things would surely be pointers to why....

UrMissingLib's photo
Tue 08/02/16 03:23 PM
Thanks for your contribution. Too early to make that conclusion, dear. At 18 y/o you haven't lived yet. True love is a reality that some people here have actually lived at one point in life. It doesn't come on a platter, though....

UrMissingLib's photo
Tue 08/02/16 03:07 PM
"I think that everyone has something about themselves that they feel is their weakness... their 'disability.' And I'm certain we all have one, because I think of a disability as being anything which undermines our belief and confidence in our own abilities".

Aimee Mullins

UrMissingLib's photo
Mon 08/01/16 12:02 PM


I have....
Surprisingly, there are more single women who are into abstinence till marriage.....whether primary or secondary abstinence.

For men, I don't know but would love to hear from the mouth of the horse.....


Instead of a horse, how about a Melmacian? bigsmile



My late wife and I did not have sexual intercourse until after our wedding.


Lol Dave

Wow! Yes, it's possible :ok_woman:. I think there's something divine about the honey moon if the couples waited till after marriage.

UrMissingLib's photo
Mon 08/01/16 03:28 AM

Grain and cattle farm on 3000 acres, homesteaded by my great grandfather in 1910.
I'll be the last generation here. I'll probably do this til I croak.
Grow mostly wheat. So the next time you get bread...whisper "thank you Pancho".:wink:


Great! My dad used to grow wheat as a small scale farmer untill he suffered stroke five years ago. I love combine harvesters! As kids we loved the ride with the kind driver. Oh, how I love wheat farms!

UrMissingLib's photo
Sun 07/31/16 02:35 PM
I have....
Surprisingly, there are more single women who are into abstinence till marriage.....whether primary or secondary abstinence.

For men, I don't know but would love to hear from the mouth of the horse.....

UrMissingLib's photo
Sun 07/31/16 02:33 PM
Edited by UrMissingLib on Sun 07/31/16 02:34 PM

UrMissingLib's photo
Sun 07/31/16 02:33 PM
I was a Procurement Manager for a Canadian overseas manufacturing company untill January 2016 when restructuring led to lay-offs.
Am currently setting up my company in import, export and logistics.

UrMissingLib's photo
Sat 07/30/16 06:33 AM
God Gave Me You Lyrics

For all the times I felt cheated, I complained
You know how I love to complain
For all the wrongs I repeated, though I was to blame
I still cursed that rain
I didn't have a prayer, didn't have a clue
Then out of the blue

[Chorus]
God gave me you to show me what's real
There's more to life and just how I feel
And all that I'm worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn't know why
Now I do, 'cause God gave me you

For all the times I wore my self pity like a favorite shirt
All wrapped up in that hurt
For every glass I saw, I saw half empty
Now it overflows like a river through my soul
From every doubt I had, I'm finally free
And I truly believe

[Chorus]
God gave me you to show me what's real
There's more to life and just how I feel
And all that I'm worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn't know why
Now I do, 'cause God gave me you

In your arms I'm someone new
With ever tender kiss from you
Oh must confess
I've been blessed

[Chorus]
God gave me you to show me what's real
There's more to life and just how I feel
And all that I'm worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn't know why (didn't know why)
Now I do (I finally do), 'cause God gave me you (God gave me You)


Bryan White lyrics

UrMissingLib's photo
Thu 07/28/16 11:58 AM
I qoute Bill Gates......Never compare yourself with anybody. It's an insult to yourself.....end of qoute.

That said, I believe we are all WIP. None has it all together. You are good at one thing and not at another. So, we compliment each wherever we are.

The only person you should compare yourself with, or compete with is YOURSELF. Look at yourself in the mirror every evening and ask what value you added to your life as you go to sleep. Life is a continual improvement journey. Not only for our personal satisfaction, but the benefit of those around us....and the world at large.

Just like a fresh water Lake preserves life due to inflow and outflow of water, human beings are an open system. We receive and give to the environment around us, thus we at one point receive value and add value.

UrMissingLib's photo
Sun 07/24/16 11:04 AM

I don't think so.
Love doesn't always translate to Marriage ( thank God for that ) and doesn't necessarily have anything to do with Happiness.
In fact, I contend that Happiness has very little to do with Love or Marriage. Happiness is a temporary state of mind, a bio-chemical reaction to an outside stimuli that is powerless to create the same over a long period of time. No one is 'forever happy'.
I aim for Contentment. A much more permanent state of consciousness that needs no outside stimuli to manifest but a deep understanding of what the heart yearns for on a daily basis: Inner Peace.


:thumbsup: flowerforyou

UrMissingLib's photo
Sun 07/24/16 02:08 AM

THIS IS FOR MY BDAY NEXT WEEK AT LAKE TOBESOFKEE AND YES POLICE WILL BE LOOKING OUT FOR THOSE BREAKING THE LAW AT THE LAKE NO ALCOHOL... LOOKING FOR A GF TO MEET ME THEIR.... AUGUST 23


What's a red neck?

UrMissingLib's photo
Sat 07/23/16 11:28 AM
:thumbsup: for Rooster!

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