They Play With Me

They play with me and I want to play back.
Then I am serious like I have been attacked.
But why should I; Don't opposites attract?
I feel again but there isn't a knife in my back.
They play with me and I think there is a catch.
Then comes one to play who is unattached.
But is she is different; She feels like a match?
I feel like an egg unlaid just waiting to hatch.
They play with me and I, too just play along.
Then I feel like I have been played wrong.
But don't we all play like a forgotten song?
I mix with all the other players in the throng.

Another Brick In The Wall

You can have another brick.
My heart isn't made of stone.
Maybe she is just a trick.
Want to hear me moan?
Try to out grovel me.
Try to take me down.
I will still have serenity.
My feet are on the ground.
Play all the games you dare.
Have a whole wall of bricks.
I don't care to share.
Whats one more trick?
I think that you care.

Play Misty For Me

Play misty for me my velvet tease.
Go to her with my touch on lease.
Make me feel lust without doubt.
Then take my heart and rip it out.
Play the games you know so well.
Cast a shadow on my lonely shell.
Why can't my head lead my heart?
Didn't I knew that we must part?
Just an old fool playing with fire.
Darkness comes with fond desire.
Shadows gather me to the abyss.
The ambrosia of nirvana I do miss.

On The Lost Highway

On the lost highway where I first met you
The wind echoes your name in whispers.
The leaves talk to me while rustling so
And I feel you deep in my soul so blue.
While you hold me in your arms gently
Letting me feel your caress so warm;
I realize that I am not alone or lost
For your comfort is magical like a charm.

In the hills and valleys or when I feel lost on a winding road under the shade of trees but especially in the grove.

Who knows? Who cares? Why bother? I used to have that on a hat I got at a thrift store. When I came back to place I was rehabbing at they told me that was a hell of an attitude to have. They thought it was negative but I thought it was some good questions. I guess it is all how one looks at it.

Hey, if you had a chance to meet Michael Myers, Jason or Freddy which one scare you the most and who won between Jason and Freddy?

I have been trying to find the movie, "I spit on your grave". I think I have to nerve to watch it now. Freddy is just too damn scary. I thought the Exorcist was funny. When she made her head spin like that she reminded me of my ex.

Oh, have you got to see, "House on haunted hill" with Vincent Price? Hey, Allen don't diss the old ones. "Doctor Phibes" is cool, too. I just love Vanavia.

Bricks Walls

Brick walls does not a skull make.
Some things you just can't fake.
Bricks are harder than your head.
Hit it too hard and you'll be dead.
There is a softer and easier way.
But you have to learn how to play.
Sticks and stones can hurt so true.
I hope something works for you.

Sorry, having trouble getting this Nat King Cole song of Lets Pretend out of my head.

I was evil towards myself, today. It didn't start out that way. I was snuggled up on the couch after watching a movie. Everything was peaceful then this knock came on the door. Sure enough a friend from work with her son and daughter in the car came to my house. She had to borrow her brother's car because her husband had taken her car to go to California and Harp's wouldn't let him wired the big check he made because it was too big. So I gave her a drink of water and told not to notice the big load of dishes in the sink because it was the maid's day off. She told me she had the same problem since her husband had left to California. So I follow her to Harp's and get some cookies and a diet coke. Then I followed her to her trailer and got to listen to her kids fuss about who was going to get to sit in the front seat. Then I followed her to Allen's grocery and I remembered to get some flints that time. Then I followed her to her brother's house with the kids clothes because they had turned off the electric in her trailer. Then she told me to meet her at ten there to pick her up to take her to work. In all the excitement I forgot about the free spaghetti dinner I was invited, too. I really hope I can forgive myself. I was really looking forward to the homemade spaghetti I missed out on.

If they don't email you back just drive to their house and chew their ass real good. That way next time you email them they will show you some respect.

Love Me Up

Love me up and hold me tight.
Let me be with you tonight.
Walk with me and take my hand.
You can be my special friend.

Kiss my lips and feel my touch.
I am not asking for that much.
Take all of me deep inside.
We can both smile with pride.

Know my love and want my feel.
We can help our hearts to heal.
Know my body and touch my face.
Welcome me to your secret place.

Let our spirits join and mingle.
Let our minds be one and single.
Love me up and hold me tight.
Let me be with you tonight.

That is a horrendous thing you are going through. So much pain and then the reality of the passing. I pray that the comforter be with you in your time of need. Just know that you are not alone and are loved. (((Ohhhitsyou)))

Dear Diary,
Last night was the second night that a lesbian aide came back to work at the home. She first worked there while I was just starting at the home. She is built like an Amazon and I am almost dwarfed compared to her except that I am taller. All the other female aides knew she liked women but last the night before last she made a remark that shocked my female friend who trained me for the job and me both. She said that neither one of us was safe in a dark room. Dayum, have I really changed that much since last year? It really caught me off guard. I really didn't know what to say.

LOL, James. I was in this impossible situation I thought with a resident the other night. I was on one side of the bed and the nurse was on the other side of the bed. The resident didn't like the light on so I was like a bull in a china shop. I tripped over her call light which jerked it out from under her neck because it is air operated. Then I tripped over her overhead table trying to put ice in her lunch bunket which knocked a framed picture she had on the table. Then I heard her say, "Way to go, Grace." It was like I couldn't do anything right. I was already nervous and getting more pissed by the second. Finally, I retorted with, "I guess I am just a dumbass." The nurse laughed and told me I was not a dumbass. Then the resident retorted with, "I am just tired of teaching new aides." Oh, that really pissed me off even more since I have worked with the resident for over a year. After the resident and I cleared the air the resident told me that the room light didn't bother her eyes but the one by the sink did. I was so glad that I didn't take my anger out on the resident and the nurse helped to difuse the anger. We were all fault finding because the nurse said that we had to have light to see what we were doing. So many times I have to declare my own ignorance or otherwise I don't learn anything. My ignorance or fault in that case was that I failed to notice which light hurt her eyes. Now I can go into room and turn on the room light and there isn't a problem. The other day she got angry at me and asked a younger aide to show me how to straighten her leg. It was a real kick to the old ego but now I know how to do it the right way.

Wiitard, I can relate with that. After unblocking her for the fourth time and her telling me that I still didn't get it I finally just admitted, "You know you are right I still don't get it." A nurse friend finally located me some size 13 and a half crocs in Branson, Missouri that she has searched to get me for two months. She had to specially order them. Then she asked me if there was anything that I wanted for Christmas. I am thinking of asking her to get me some kneepads because I grovel a lot. "I am sorry, master."

Thanks, Red. When comparing the two versions of the King James and the American Standard I noticed something.

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.

Confess therefore your sins one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.

Faults equal sin? Huh? I think they are two different things entirely.

I think what was funny when my dad would tell me I was just like my mother and my mother would tell me I was just like my father. I think one of the happiest times in my life was when I got away from both of them. I could stand both of them for about five minutes then I run back home with a big sigh of relief. I am most happiest when I get to spend time with my friends who have similiar problems dealing with reality on its own terms. Sharing strength, hope and experience is just a lot simpler way of life now.

I guess the difference was that I was twisted and not my words, Spider.