I have been thinking about this post and thought I would address what I would tell a parent if I they found out their kid were smoking pot.

Since have kind of a wide range of maturity to conver but that kids are starting smoking younger and younger and what would be approriate for one age might be too harsh for another adapt accordingly.

Probably the first thing I would do is keep my mouth shut for a few days if the information didn't come directly from the kid.

Since it is a controlled substance if I found it in my home, weather it is there room or not, I would conviscate it. Pretty hard to deny when you have the proof right there in your possession.

Then I would start paying real close attention to see if they are sneaking out of the house when you don't know. You would be amazed how many kids run the streets at night when parents think they are at home.

I would also start checking the Odometer on the car. That is another shock for many parents that their kid is driving to a dope spot with the family car, sometimes in the daytime others at night. Yes they sell pot on or near most school campuses but kids don't always have a lot of forethought about buying.

The next thing I would do is do an inventory of what your kid has and doesn't have of the things you have bought them. Kids barter and if expensive things are disappearing that is where the money is coming from.

Auditing what your kid does with the money they earn or are given helps to know if they have any expensive habits. Most kids that stray find the money laying around in purses, jackets, and the typical stashing places is more than enough to buy drugs with for at least awhile. Lot of times gift cards and cash come from Grandparents and non-custodial parents. I have seen parents hand over chid support, social security, welfare, and grocery checks to kids. The absence of cash will not keep a child drug free. I have seen pot being grown on parents property and they didn't know what it was.

Parents do need to educate themselfs what it looks like, and generally what the facts are. Your
kids should not know more than you do.

That is where finding out more about your child is in order. Paying attention to who there friends are and when they change, what their teachers and school advisiors can tell you, as a parent you have a right to see their; grades, attendance, and disciplenary records besides access to their locker. Same goes for people you leave in charge of your kid; sometimes they can tell you a lot about your kids. If your kid is failing a lot of times you can develope eyes in the back of your head.

Next you want what you do find tested. The real shocker is what you are likely to find laceing the pot. I would check first about what your local laws are before I revealed how much you found but the important thing is you don't know if there is more until you go through stuff with a fine tooth comb. You could find that it is just pot or pretty much the sky's the limit. You might pass right over drugs and not even realize it is drugs or drug paraphanilia. But it will keep you from saying oh it is just pot when it could something much more dangerous.

You also want to clean up your own act if you smoke. Many kids get the majority of there initial pot from a family member. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't have rules about things one way for you and another for them.

Last but not least you need to have your kid tested. Earlier I alluded to the importance of knowing your child's health and your pediatrician can help. Often they have books on the subject but they can also tell you if your kid is useing or holding.

I have dated a couple from the Mutual Match thing that were not very cool. But haven't gone to any Mingle Events so can't speak to that.

But I have from other sites and had a blast.

You need to take your time and use common sense but friendships can develope and be nice.

I know the Methodist church surveyed their ministers at a recent conference and they reported that 80% of the people that were marrying reported that they had met on line.

Giggle snort. Luv a guy with a sense of humor.

I think if both are honest it is possible to fall in love but how deeply or lasting I have doubts about. You hear of couples falling out of love after 20+ years of marriage and I would think they know each other very well but can't work through the inevitable discoveries/changes that go with marriage..

Sure F&L. Why not?









































Are you going to pay me for saying that before Friday? I want to go to the movies.

If God made something better than Chocolate he kept it forhimself so just about any way is good for me. lol

SweetanFunny you vent anytime you feel like Darlin. Got a feeling there are a lot of us that will be more than glad to give you a shoulder to lean on.

Sounds like you have had a really tough time with this Third Time's a Charm bout with the Big C starting out. Somehow I think you are going to get through this and do just fine. I am hearing more and more people who are finding and conquering the "C" more than once because they find it earlier and have better medications and procedures to fight with almost every day. I know several people that missed no work they got through so well.

I don't know when your last fight was but if you haven't had a conversation with your Doctor you may be pleasantly surprized. With new medications the side effects have been greatly reduced. I am not saying it is a picnic but it might be a lot better than before. I know all the people who care about you will sure hope so.

If you feel like you need to prioritize your energy and cut down on your Mingle time you do what you need to do. You might want to check back on this thread though.

I got a feeling that you have enough friends that will keep bumping it along until you get through this. You can come here and tell us how you are doing or have your privacy but you got a shoulder here. Any of you all feel the same be glad to help keep it going.
HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS

How much attention is the right amount tends to vary with the people involved but you can be pretty sure that however a person is is not going to change a lot. So if it gets on your nerves early it isn't going to change a lot.

My experience is that guys tend to like more tactile attention in the beginning because the see it as bettering the odds that they are going to get laid. Once the new wears off. Or you start hanging around friends and family who might not approve of a lot of PDA's then it can get to be a problem.

One concern for me is the number of women who don't catch on that a guy who is real cozy and wants them constantly where they can be touched is more than likely a control freak and when affection doesn't get it done abuse will.

The other concern is the woman who is overtly tactile. As long as you like it everything is fine. But if you try to cut off the relationship they can apply the same obsessive behavior is stalking you and or trashing your stuff.

I will say there are some couples that just do everything together and are happy as clams. Sometimes one or the other has a job that seperates them for long periods and when they can be together they spend what they can together.

Love that warm and fuzzy chest or at least enough to have the happy trail down the abdomen. If a guy has hair on his back; so what. Not like I wan't have to deal with stubble on his back;that would be gross not to mention miserable for the guy. I am all for grooming but there is a point when it just doesn't seem worth the abuse.

I will probably shock some people but the idea of marriage is starting to loose it's appeal to me now that I am nearingthe double nickle.

Especially with the court system copping out on what would be justice for those marriages that fail for cause or when one member is more dependent with the community property/no fault divorces. It seems particularly unfair that one partner can commit adultry, become abusive or addicted, commit a crime and be incarcerated for example and still walk away with half.

It is one thing when you are young and don't come to marriage with skills or possessions that the other has no investment in. Or hopefully no children. Or usually dependent parents. That isn't usually the case as people get older.

If I were men I would get the law changed that says any child that is concieved during the marriage is his to support wheather it's his or not. That seems patently unfair.

Also unfair is that a guy can go out and make as many children as he wants on the side and basiclly impoverish himself makeing himself useless to his wife and her children as a provider.

Or that either partner can, sometimes is forced to, take custody of minor age children they might or might know they had when they married. Children that come in with huge problems that may or may not be so easy to live with. To get divorced you give up half.

True some of these things can be avoided with a prenuptual agreement which I strongly recommend but most people don't think ahead or really know all that much about the people they marry.

I am not going to debate all the religious stuff because that isn't required unless it is a big deal to the people involved.

What a lot of people don't seem to know is how marriage effects a persons rights to make decisions about their spouse in the event of injury/illness.

Without marriage the next of kin, usually parents, or children, sometimes siblings can come in and fight you for stuff and can shut you out as a live in spouse. If you have bought anything together, and you can't document it they can say it is theirs and there is not a lot you can do about it. All they have to do is get someone to say that your partner is incompetent. Say like after a car accident, while you might be in the hospital yourself, you could loose just about everything. Especially pets or children if you have them.

There are a lot of financial incentives to marriage; insurance, credit, inheritance, educational and employment perks as a spouse. Lots of tax and property rights.

The big deal about being married is the respect people give you to do things for or as a spouse. Pay bills, contract for repairs, make reservations, drive their car, pick up their kids, drive into secured areas to give them a ride. Not to mention the status of saying wait until I talk this over with my spouse.

I don't know everyone would think it is so fair but at least if you do get sick or in a financial jam half of the debt is thiers.

Hey Send it my way too. I know we are so lucky for the good weather we have but this gray soggy mornful wind is starting to drag me down too. Guess we all should get together and do something fun. Wish we could have a pot luck and play cards.

Nanny thirty-five cent and hour.

I think the nudges are great.

Erodes a relationship real fast. Kind of like cutting your nose off to spite your face.

It is not possible for you to make him feel some thing for these little ones. His curent squeeze probably has him brain washed because he wants to run away from his responsibility.

So count your blessings; You got the best out of the relationship and he is out of your life.

HOWEVER it is possible for you to make these little one feel terrible letting this this situation get you all worked up. You have a newborn that needs you to calm down and give what only you can give. A toxic free environment.

You have three kids, so what women with more have made it, get them to a community college day care program and upgrade your skills so you can support them if you are struggleling. If you get in gear now they will still be too young to even remember they were poor. They are begging for nurses and they make great money. If you put Child Support Enforcement on Daddy-not-dearest and let it go. If they collect fine, you have a bonus, if not sooner or later it will bite him. But you need to pick your battles.

I don't get why you have to be circulateing in the same stores as this sperm donor but you are tortureing your self for no reason. The best revenge if you really need it is being sucessful on your own.

Get over to Habitat for Humanity and get on their list to have a house built for your family.

Burns me so that Kaiser forces elderly policy holders for thirty plus years to stand in line and wait weeks for elective care and then spend huge money to cover this fiasco. I think they should charge that doctor with paternity and make him support those kids.

Let the divorce go through. Then you won't end up supporting somebody elses kid when she cheats again.

I see you have kids involved. If you can find some peace that works for all of you then I would shoot for being a civil co-parent. Just because you forgive her mistakes does not mean you have to give her opportunity to fail again.

Since your children will learn what healthy love really is; if, and only if, you seek it in a healthy relationship I would not give your Ex the opportunity to trash what you have rebuilt of your self esteem, independence, and self respect.

Love is...the quiet oasis in chaos.

Love is...two souls bonding as one.

Love is...joyous whails of new life.

Love is...broken strength crawling away from the
bloody fields of battle.

Love is...standing alone in a house until it
once again is home.

Love is...releaseing elders one by one;
taking the post in stunned greif.

Love is...wearing out and useing up;
the treasures of a life time.

Love is...waining cool and frail;
trembeling in the sunset.

Love is...lingering in the hearts of young;
dancing in the stars.

Held a public official hostage with about 200 other disabled people.

Oh you are killing me you all. Great cook here.