I think you are in love with this guy and for all the denials I don't buy it. This guy drops the L word half drunk and you don't even know if it is for you or not but your brain/heart starts doing summersaults.

I think this guy is the arsehole he has admitted to being and is just enjoying a good Fu-k-buddy and nothing more. Yea he prepares for the his own pleasure but this guy does not care about you or your kid and he made it clear when he ditched you.

What surprises me is a smart woman with so much to offer someone who could/would offer you the Whole Montey you have settled for being demoted to FWB and talked yourself into saying you like it this way. Maybe because you just don't want to face the facts that he is dictateing the relationship or the lack there of.
Maybe some of it is the percieved "saftey" of dependable sex but if you got this guy on the brain as much as you do I think you are trying to avoid the inevitable hurt and anger you are going to feel when the reality sets in.

You might not believe it but I am really sorry to think you are getting such a raw deal. I think you really do want to love someone and would if you could.

It is not going to be with this guy.

I don't think so. I don't. I got as far away as possible at the time because he acted like a lunatic but he had his hands full with a pregnant girlfriend a few months later with a father-in-law I was told forced them to marry so he was a little distracted. lol

It is probably more important to figure out what you can afford to pay before the marriage. (Because if it is not paid for before she in effect helps pay for it.)

How much to spend depends on your means. If you buy a really expensive ring and are wiping out your savings so that you can not have something to fall back on if you loose your job or some other unexpected emergency that would not be a good idea.

Because it is a symbol of your affection for her it should represent at least some sacrifice on your part. If a months pay is going to put you in financial distress it is not reasonable.

If you talk to your future partner and find out what style of ring you can come closer to pleaseing her. You also might want to factor in what her personality type is. A gal who likes to play out doors and wear it as she raises a family she is probably going to want a setting that is stronger. If she works in an office setting maybe something more delicate. Taking note if she wears gold or silver jewlery will help you to pick a setting metal she is going to like. Might want to find out if she has any metal allergies because if she does you defintely want to buy a setting of higher quality. Sometimes "bargain" rings are
lower quality and will break down faster with dailey wear.

Solitair rings always give you the option of adding a wrap around later but if she is the sentimental type she may want to always retain the ring as is.

Also a lower grade and clarity of the diamond can allow a larger diamond. If you have a relationship with and established jeweler you can order the band and diamond seperately and get a better deal.

What you do not want to do is not know general prices because you can really get taken and sold a highly over priced ring. If you find a ring you like comparison shop. If you walk in with your fiance I can pretty much assure you they are only going to offer you the most expensive or low quality rings they have because they know you are not walking out the door without a ring..

I would prefer to meet online first because I don't want to bring a stranger into my life until I have some time to get to know them.

Well you better tell what you have to offer because you don't have a lot of time.

The key to why Players have the success they do is because SOME women talk themselves out of doing what they know they need to do and eventually do but too late.

They want to be "nice" and appear confident and trusting immediately because popular opinion: mostly in the media; is women are defective if they are not mind readers in our instant society.

That and there is a belief that has been heavily promoted that Good partners don't exist, or are in short supply. Which I personally don't believe for a minute.

I have a check list of behaviors I expect of friends and lovers.

Do they treat me with consideration and respect of my rights from the start?

Do they have a good track record?

Are they truthful about everyday things?

How do I see them treat their family, pets, friends?

How capable or they of taking care of themself?

Are they a competitor or a companion?

....are a few basics but but there are more. If you give someone the priveledge of being your friend or lover they should earn it JUST LIKE YOU SHOULD.

Because SOME men have learned: from experience; that they can lie, get laid (or other perks), and get away with it for at least a short amount of time with SOME women and that is enough for them.

If you have been played like this live and learn to take your time and let a guy show what HE is before you lump all guys in the same boat.

I would think it entirely possible because I have several men (and women) that I find very appealing as friends but not as a lover/mate.

That in no way makes them less it just means I am not looking for their traits in a mate. I know pretty well what it takes for me to want to live with someone.

Is it possible that I could change my interest from friendship to relationship? Of course. Likely; probably not.

Personally; I would not go hang out with someone on the premis of freindship if I hadn't come to a conclusion about my feelings and told them prior.

One thing that I would NOT do is go stay in a male friend's home or have him stay in mine. It is just not possible for me, and I would dare say most men to be comfortable in a situation where a person is bathing and dressing and doing intimate things. I say this as a caregiver who is very good at keeping a professional distance and respect my friend's privacy. Maybe if I had a completely seperate guest room and bath for short periods but my home is my oasis and I want to be able to relax in my pajamas and or stay in my routines which are not always considerate of someone who would not be comfortable in a familia situation. Since my home is the size of a postage stamp it is difficult for me to even have dinner guests.

I find it amazing that so many people will down people for wanting to marry for economic security but they themselves did it or are doing it now living with a partner because it is "easier" than a room-mate or a tenant. The number of men who are motivated to get a partner when they retire or start slowing down is interesting.

Dan do you think that is different because you live outside the USA?

I have seen twins reunited and I am always amazed at how close their seperate lives are. Have you ever felt you had a twin you didn't know about?

Would you want a partner that did not drive?

You don't think it would help you to understand yourself better?

A twin if you could have one? Why? Why not.

Hey; sorry it is off topic, but want to say it is good to see you.

NO WAY! I have had enough loss in my life I sure would not want to have to endure that forever.

If you can have the support of friends and family having and interracial relationship is pretty much like any other two people combining personalities, cultures, and histories but if you have to abandon or be excomunicated from your family as sometimes occurs in interracial relationships it can be difficult to be happy.

Actually many people do die of the flu every year. My 36 year old husband was one.

It is that time of year and you think you are getting the flu go see your Doctor. THey can help you from some of the dangerous side effects and help prevent complications that are very common.

Hope you are well by the time you read this.

Well the journalist probably said so called to prevent herself or her paper from being sued by anyone who could make a case in court that they were slandered but since didn't see the OReilly Thomas interview I don't know.

Seems like that label gets bandied around alot. To me a terrorist is someone who does and overt act that results in not only terror but significant harm to a persons life or liberty or sense of saftey. Many degrees of that.