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Topic:
Have you ever - part 16
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Nope not ever lol Have you hidden from your parents LOL daily from my dad growing up. Ever saw a stranger crying & turn their day into a happy one |
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Topic:
Have you ever - part 16
Edited by
BHawkins
on
Thu 05/05/16 09:38 AM
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Yes, football ...for a guy who despises watching it, I was a BAMF for the 4 years
Ever ran from the cops |
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Tunica Casino
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Edited by
BHawkins
on
Wed 05/04/16 03:18 PM
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I'd just say "Fair enough!" and I'd shrug my shoulders. There was only one time someone had said it to me. He was in his usual schizophrenic grumpy mood, so I forgave him for it. He came up to me crying because he didn't mean to actually say it. I knew that he was a good person. I just gave him a hug and told him that it's alright. I get attacked monthly by a schizophrenic inmate lol He tells the officers "that boy is in league with the morning star" ...whatever the hell that means :) He probably doesn't know either. Schizophrenia is such a cruel disease. I think I feel most sorry for those who linger sometimes in the land of reality and drift back and forth because they are so persecuted and have such pain about their "ill" behavior if they are aware of it. I am sorry for you to have to deal with the result of his dementia. Nurses have a special place in heaven. lol, not this nurse...I'm kindling ...100% I'm a good and responsible nurse...but even the good ones end up fuel for that big grill ;-) but yes, even though it's a given that we'll tangle on a regular basis , I absolutely sympathize with him....hell, he may even be right. Anyway, I honestly get bored and stagnant there unless my fight or flight sense is activated. I kinda enjoy the chaotic moments if I'm being honest |
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Topic:
What will become of me?
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hmmmmm. Nah, his helpers are overworked, underapreciated & on their own....I'd rather see him do some fixing. The earth is quickly becoming a condemned building with a slumlord who not only over charges the rent......but he forces you to live there until he decides whether or not the disappointing tenants are ready for a much longer lease, in a far more horrible building.
I do love metaphors ...no better way to paint a clear and uncomfortable picture 
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Topic:
What will become of me?
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Hawkins, I encourage you to write more. You are communicating to us more than you know. Your piece was not just an outpouring of what the voices in your head says. And if by writing you achieve the two objectives you stated, then do more I dare say. You strike me as a courageous and committed soldier who was wounded at battle. Yet strong enough to overcome the pain and rise above the painful past for greater gains. I pray and hope you will find not only yourself but the balm that heals past wounds. And that's true love. The kind that sher wrote about. I believe you are closer that when you first started the search. From the bottom of my heart I wish you the best, Hawkins. Well that one was mostly about God, so I'll need to do more than write to work that one out  Thank goodness for metaphors because hearing my thoughts in a blunt, specific & abrasive manner as they exist.......probably would've greatly reduced the kind responses
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Topic:
What will become of me?
Edited by
BHawkins
on
Wed 05/04/16 12:53 PM
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Hi Hawkins, This is deep stuff! You can bet I will keep reading it over and over to understand the deeper feelings. I can bet my life they no regrets coming your way! Hey, you prompted me to view your profile... Your poetic instincts are well engraved in the first part of your write up. I encourage you to bring out the poetic child in you.... She will help you 'To find the one who can guide my heart to something bright'. ........What will become of me? I dare say love will become! Sage advice, thank you. Yeah to be honest I'm still very surprised anyone understood & even more surprised that it was liked. Especially since I force myself to write as fast as possible so I'll always use my first thought. I just assumed the importance I place on using raw feelings caused my words to appear sloppy. DEFNITELY repetitive. A couple of the subject words ended up being used 2 or 3 times. Makes it feel very novice and unstructured. Unfortunately everything I've written, I hear it in my head while doing it & there is never a typical cadence. Certain parts are spoken fast, certain parts assertive & the rest with pleading tone...feels like a damn cluster of haiku's when Im reading, but the passion can almost be seen when it's spoken out loud as intended. I truly appreciate everyone's compliments ..my stuff will always seem amateurish to me. My sole reason for writing these came from a psychology book I read. The rationale in the book was this. Take the things in life that haunt you & write them as a story or poem. It's supposed to #1 help you cope and #2 help you better understand your issue so that a solution can possibly be attained. Nver hurts to try right? I'm just usually the only one to read them. |
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Topic:
What will become of me?
Edited by
BHawkins
on
Wed 05/04/16 11:48 AM
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special meaning as i 'think' on quitting smoking oh yeah, its flared to the point, me is now a walking chimney.. man-o-man; maybe will do it now thanks for sharing. Good luck brother . November 8, 2003 I quit smoking cigarettes & doing drugs simultaneously beginning on that exact day & have touched neither since that day ....If I can, anyone can. I had an extreme motivating factor, but still, any push is one to be grateful for |
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Rains, its hard to shut down the mind sometimes.. Yes it is!! It's a disease to which I'm eaten up with |
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I'd just say "Fair enough!" and I'd shrug my shoulders. There was only one time someone had said it to me. He was in his usual schizophrenic grumpy mood, so I forgave him for it. He came up to me crying because he didn't mean to actually say it. I knew that he was a good person. I just gave him a hug and told him that it's alright. I get attacked monthly by a schizophrenic inmate lol He tells the officers "that boy is in league with the morning star" ...whatever the hell that means :) |
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Thank you! They prevent me from hiding anything about how I'm feeling
⤴Natural beauty 
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Topic:
Why Do Partners Cheat?
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well, as long as i committed at someone i will respect my partner in anyways. even he is not good to me. i have to end my relation than to cheat. thats what my opinion. That's the only way to live. Smart lady
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Topic:
The types you attract ..
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on losers an users for sum reason. I must hve stupid across my forehead Switch to women ...they are better ;) |
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On a speed boat ...pulling dingy
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Who is D &C?? Bratz She thinks I'm on drugs cuz I asked you to be my uncle |
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Topic:
A Good Price
Edited by
BHawkins
on
Wed 05/04/16 03:06 AM
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Chucky walks into a motel style whore house & rings the bell
Pimp- Can I help you? Chucky- Yes but I don't have much money Pimp- It's ok, we have a vast selection with a wide array of prices The Pimp's assistant Hector walks from behind a curtain, showcasing a stable of ho's from Victoria Secret model quality to a midget with a wandering eye Chucky-....um...whatcha got in the $2 range? Hector walks off with the ho's, as the pimp motions for Chucky to come closer. He whispers in Chucky's ear Pimp- Listen, go to room 209, there's a dead hooker up there...ya got 15 minutes He snatches the $2 & Chucky heads upstairs. 15 minutes later Chucky is coming down the stairs Pimp-So? ....How was it Chucky- It was fine, but her nose kept running Pimp- (yelling behind him) HECTOR!! GO TAKE CARE OF 209 FOR ME....SHE's FULL AGAIN!! |
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Uncle ⤴...will you adopt me as your nephew good sir? ^_~
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Out on the water. I've never been on a boat .... always wanted to.
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Edited by
BHawkins
on
Tue 05/03/16 09:53 PM
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Breña - A Perfect Circle (Beautiful song..gives me goosebumps everytime)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d28ieFrMy4o |
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Edited by
BHawkins
on
Tue 05/03/16 09:06 PM
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What's your answer? For me the answer is to feel flattered that someone has allowed you to have such an affect on them. Love and hate are opposite but equal and for someone to allow you to make such a mark on them that they are moved to say the words "I love you" the same is true for "I hate you" Of course it doesn't feel good to hear but never forget you were important enough to another human, to also be hated by them. I'll take love over hate and hate over indifference. If you're truly able to see it the way I do, it completely frees you from the sadness & confusion of hearing those words. To hurt me, one would have to say I just dont matter enough to feel love or hate for me. Hurt is lurking around every corner, it always will be. If we can meet some of it head on, then we have achieved a small victory |
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