What do you call a dog with no legs??

In a factory: A man standing on the floor and looking aimlessly. CEO of that factory came and asked his salary.... Man replied 5000$ sir.... CEO took out his wallet and gave 15000$ and told him "I pay people here to work and not to waste time....This is ur 3 months' salary. Now get out of here. Never come back".... That guy left. Then CEO asked workers "who was that guy?".... workers replied "courier boy sir..........."

Son: "Mom can I get twenty bucks" Mom: Does it look like I am made of money Son: "Well isn't that what M.O.M stands for?"

The nurse asked a patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown to be checked by the doctor.

"In front of you?" He asks, shy.

The nurse says: "Well no, but I've seen the naked human body before.

The man said, "Not one like mine. You'd die laughing at my naked body."

"Of course I won't laugh," said the Nurse to the patient, "I'm a professional.

In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

"Okay then," said the patient, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing a huge male body with the smallest adult male organ the Nurse had ever seen in her life.

In length and width it was almost identical to a AAA battery.
Unable to control herself, the Nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out.

And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing. Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the man's private part, she composed herself as well as she could.

"I am so sorry," she said, "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a Nurse and a lady, I promise that it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"

"It's swollen," Bob replied.

She ran out of the room.

Three doctors are talking about death.

The first, a dentist, says, “When I die, I think I’d like my tombstone to be shaped like a tooth made of white marble.”

“Hey,” adds the cardiologist, “that’s not a bad idea, I’d love my tombstone to be shaped as a heart…”

The gynecologist is silent for a bit, then says, “I think scattering of the ashes is my option.”

A woman goes to a bank to get a loan. She tells the loan manager she's going to Europe in another week and would like a $5,000 loan. The manager says "Okay, but I'm going to need some kind of collateral" upon which the lady hands him the keys to her Rolls Royce. He goes outside, drives and parks the car in the banks parking garage. A few weeks goes by and the lady comes back to pay the loan plus the $15.41 interest. The loan manager says "Thank you but one thing puzzles me. According to our records you're a multimillionaire so why did you need the loan?" The lady replies "Well where else in New York City can I park my car for $15."

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest beer for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooosh! Plop!! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant 'Take another drink!'

The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. Swoooosh! Plip! Plop!! Two arms pop out.

The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, 'Take another drink! Take another drink!!' The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.

By now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip!! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos.
The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly The bar falls silent.

The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says,

'He should've quit while he was a head!'