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Topic: single too long
no photo
Wed 08/27/08 11:40 AM
Edited by OneMoreTimeAround on Wed 08/27/08 11:45 AM
I've been divorced for 15 yrs. I sometimes wonder if maybe I've become too independent, or too "picky" so that it makes it more difficult for me to make a connection. After so long, it takes time to adjust to having someone else to consider in all I do. That's not easily done in a quick manner. Any ideas or thoughts?

BobbyJ's photo
Wed 08/27/08 11:44 AM
No, keep up your "pickiness" and don't settle for less than what you want in a man. My brother was single for around 15 years, then he met the love of his life about five years ago. They have been living happily ever after. It happens!

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Wed 08/27/08 11:46 AM
Thank you for the vote of confidence!!

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Wed 08/27/08 12:00 PM
I'm 47 and I have been single since 1996, didn't even try to date again until this year. I feel much the same way, like I've been at this for so long that I've gotten to be too independent for my own good. I joke that I may get older and uglier, but pickier none-the-less. And, it's true. There are a lot of lonely people trying to get into each others' lives without enough thought and heart. That will just leave us each lonely in the long run. I don't expect perfect, just REAL!!!

no photo
Wed 08/27/08 12:04 PM
It's just hard but you have to be picky. Men our age, if they're good men, are either married or widowed. If widowed, they tend to get into another relationship fast. So the pickins' are slim. It seems to me the men out there are looking for Barbie even though they're sitting around with a beer belly and a balding head. It's a freak show out there but you still have to have hope!

BobbyJ's photo
Wed 08/27/08 12:22 PM

It's just hard but you have to be picky. Men our age, if they're good men, are either married or widowed. If widowed, they tend to get into another relationship fast. So the pickins' are slim. It seems to me the men out there are looking for Barbie even though they're sitting around with a beer belly and a balding head. It's a freak show out there but you still have to have hope!


Ahh, generalizations! Beer belly? Bald? Looking for Barbie? There are guys out here that are none of the above and not looking for a Barbie Doll, just someone who is compatable!

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Wed 08/27/08 12:31 PM
oh I still hope, or else I'd not have my butt on a dating site. It's good to know tho' that there's other's who've waited for whatever reason and find it just as difficult. Thanks y'all.

flame1cutie's photo
Wed 08/27/08 01:07 PM
I've been divorced almost 11 yrs. I didn't start looking until this yr. So don't give up your searchflowerforyou

no photo
Wed 08/27/08 01:13 PM
Thank you Flame...and good luck!

flame1cutie's photo
Wed 08/27/08 01:17 PM
They are out there, I have found one on here, a very nice gentleman, so there are still good ones out there.

euphoriaholic's photo
Wed 08/27/08 01:36 PM
You're not being "picky", you just know what you want and what you don't want in a relationship, nothing wrong with that.No sense "settling" if you're not going to be happy. Remember, you can't change someone,you'll just end up for the worse.So it's best to look for the good qualities in a person and if they ain't got no good qualities then don't even bother. I guess what I'm trying to get across is, don't sweat the small stuff, but concentrate on if they live by the golden rule.

oldsage's photo
Sat 08/30/08 07:41 AM
euphoria, well said.

For me, I look on this site not for dating but friends & conversation. The original name was
"Just Say Hi" 7 I have had many great conversations, with folks I never would have met otherwise. Get in the threads more, post, get yourself known. Sure you'll meet some jerks, IGNORE them. I bet you will find some good friends & from there anything can happen.

no photo
Sun 08/31/08 02:38 AM
I told my wise old son that I felt that I was being too picky, he just stated that I wasn't picky, I was Selective!
Love that kid!:wink:

Greyhound's photo
Sun 08/31/08 03:34 AM
I don't really think we're picky....it's just that we have set our ways now that we're older. Just my opinionflowerforyou

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Sun 08/31/08 04:19 AM
welcome to the forums. happy posting.waving

oldsage's photo
Sun 08/31/08 06:35 AM

I told my wise old son that I felt that I was being too picky, he just stated that I wasn't picky, I was Selective!
Love that kid!:wink:


Welcome to the family.
Bet you can make some friends here, female & male.
We are a pretty good group of people,here in the "50's" threads.
Ladies will warn you about things if you just ask.
Don't believe what they will say about me, I don't really bite THAT hard.pitchfork :angel: oops :wink: happy

Post more & have funflowerforyou flowerforyou

no photo
Sun 08/31/08 01:04 PM
Thank you all for the support and advice.

AllSmilesInTulsa's photo
Sun 08/31/08 01:11 PM
Edited by AllSmilesInTulsa on Sun 08/31/08 01:13 PM
I have been single 13 years with my last serious relationship ending 9 years ago. I too felt the same as you but continued to think that when the right man came along I would feel differently.... and I do!!!!

no photo
Sun 08/31/08 01:18 PM
good for u smiles:smile:

AllSmilesInTulsa's photo
Sun 08/31/08 01:21 PM

good for u smiles:smile:


It's still pretty new but it validates my thoughts that you will make time and compromise for the right person.

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