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| Topic: YES OR NO TO Friends with Benefits? | |
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Rapunzel, my sponsor told me that I should be friendly with my friends. It makes sense to me. My mother told me that at an early age. She told me that if I didn't behave my friends would have to go home.   You are a fine man  Rainbow Trout...  I wish more people  would listen to  & apply the infinite wisdom of their Mama
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Word........Peace out y'all:
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After the age of 50? |
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I like this topic~ and I stand behind my
my posts. some folks say im very contaversial} I ask the Questions people can answer at there. Own risk after all this is cyber-space and we are all grown-ups!. This post is not yet rated G<PG13<R, LOL KOOLAID~10/18/08 
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I like this topic~ and I stand behind my my posts. some folks say im very contaversial} I ask the Questions people can answer at there. Own risk after all this is cyber-space and we are all grown-ups!. This post is not yet rated G<PG13<R, LOL KOOLAID~10/18/08 |
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I have found friends with benefits that has nothing to do with sex. Friends who like to drive, too so that I don't have to do all the driving. Friends that like to go to yard sales. Friends that can cook; I am not a good cook. Friends that like hugs, too; I like to share hugs. Friends that have money when I am broke and to be able to have money when my friends are broke. Rainbow, you made such a good point! Altho' the OP hasn't come back to state exactly what she meant, and because we all normally associate FWB as something regarding sex....Every FRIEND we make comes with a BENEFIT. |
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Well, a guy might have a problem if someone answers the phone for him and tells him that he has a lady friend on the line and then he answers the person who answers his phone with, "Could you be more specific?" That is just my opinion, though.
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This is a new topic for me, so here goes!! Right now, I would just be interested in a "friend". My mom keeps me so closed in, but we are trying to change that!!
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I tried the FWB, and it didn't work out the way it was supposed to. We both agreed on it because it was what wanted at the time. But, as hard as we tried, and as much as we denied to everyone that we weren't dating, we were always together and if we weren't together we were emailing or talking on the phone on an everyday basis. We went out on "dates" and we even went on vacation together. It got to the point that we both started hinting around that we were developing feelings for each other. So we finally talked about what was actually happening between us, and decided that even though feelings were starting to develop, it was better for the both of us to just end things as they were.
All that being said, I won't deny that I had conflicting moral issues with doing it. And yes I was raised with strict moral beliefs that you just don't do something like that. But at that time, it was the right thing for me to do. And I don't regret doing it. But I think an FWB is not for everyone, because there is a fine line that you have to make so as not to get emotionally involved. And I believe that is one of the key factors in doing it. I, myself, can't make that fine line. I found that out through personal experience. It's either all or none now. And my heart truly goes out to the older generation that has to sacrifice getting married because if for some reason it doesn't work out, you get penalized for it. But if having an FWB is your choice, then so be it! It's your life, no one else can live it for you, so enjoy it and get the most you can out of it!! 
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very good points you make, Ms. Carmen.. love and light to you...dear Sister
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very good points you make, Ms. Carmen.. love and light to you...dear Sister thank you
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Edited by
Rapunzel
on
Sat 10/18/08 10:28 AM
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i think the deal with me is not only morally
which i have battled with all my life but the fact that i am not always readily able to be detached emotionally from someone if i have gotten to the point of being involved with them sexually... so, if the relationship is not right and is not progressing in a healthy way then i must remove myself from the situation so i can have more of a handle on it and be more in control of my emotions & my actions... |
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Having FWB does help.Quite a few years ago. after my first divorce, I had a FWB, and it took the EDGE off of raising two kids without the tension.
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i think the deal with me is not only morally which i have battled with all my life but the fact that i am not readily able to be detached emotionally from someone if i am involved with them sexually... so, if the realtionship is not right then i remove myself from the situation so i can have more of a handle on it and be more in control of my emotions & my actions... Exactly my point In the end, we had to ask ourselves, "Could we continue to do this and remain emotionally unattached?" And the answer simply was no. And that's why we ended it.
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i think the deal with me is not only morally which i have battled with all my life but the fact that i am not readily able to be detached emotionally from someone if i am involved with them sexually... so, if the realtionship is not right then i remove myself from the situation so i can have more of a handle on it and be more in control of my emotions & my actions... Exactly my point In the end, we had to ask ourselves, "Could we continue to do this and remain emotionally unattached?" And the answer simply was no. And that's why we ended it. Yes, i agree with you... the old saying..." to thine own self be true " applies here in all its royal colorful glory
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Edited by
Rapunzel
on
Sat 10/18/08 10:42 AM
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and also I'd like to add...
that i have been raised to believe that sex is to be saved for Marriage and no matter how i have fought it in my flower child days... or even later ...  i have found that sex without a real marriage of the heart, soul, mind spirit & body is empty...  and a full-on marriage is what i truly seek with every single fiber of my being i think there are good reasons why the Lord said that the marriage bed is consecrated.... and with that teaching.... it tells me that the non marriage bed is not consecrated.....  i want God's blessings and favor in my life... i cannot have one foot with my Lord....  and one foot in the world for neither place would bring me any sense of fulfillment |
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and also I'd like to add... that i have been raised to believe that sex is to be saved for Marriage and no matter how i have fought it in my flower child days... i have found that sex without a real marriage of the heart, soul, mind spirit & body is empty... and that is what i truly seek with every fiber of my being i think there are good reasons why the Lord said that the marriage bed is consecrated.... and with that teaching.... it tells me that the non marriage bed is not consecrated..... i want God's blessings and favor in my life... i cannot have one foot with my Lord.... and one foot in the world for neither place would bring me any sense of fulfillment That is why I have been celebate for five years. I cannot get serious with any one right now, as to the nature of my job. |
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thank you Lady Greer i am glad that i am not the only one  who tries hard to hold fast to the wise teachings of our youth
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What about the old saying "If you don't use it you lose it"?
 When you are over 50 your surely don't want to lose it. Seriously there are health benefits to being sexually active. 
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What about the old saying "If you don't use it you lose it"? When you are over 50 your surely don't want to lose it. Seriously there are health benefits to being sexually active. Understand that, too! BUT, you have to be exposed to it, and so far I have not!!!! |
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