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| Topic: The New English | |
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I figure, "what's the difference? We wouldn't be any worse off than we already are."
The New English The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. |
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I think that is already in place at Mingle.
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ve haf vays of makink you spik
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 Makes me proud to be a citizen of the U.S.A. where we have developed out own unique ways to mangle the english language!
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American English was the pioneer of this
where plough was changed to plow and learnt was changed for learned and so many other words. Queen Victoria once said "For few hundred years we tried to teach them Our English; didn't We fail miserably"  
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Hahaha might as well do that more people in Britain seem to speak Polish or Albanian anyway!
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Hahaha might as well do that more people in Britain seem to speak Polish or Albanian anyway! Yeah unfortunately so So many years of Oxford education wasted 
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this has to be a joke right, english is the most unaversal langusge is it not. perfect example of our pompus piss taking polititions bending our country over the table and dropping our trousers, next theyll be putting some lipstick on so we look nice ready for our ass raping
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sign language works for me.
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this has to be a joke right, english is the most unaversal langusge is it not. perfect example of our pompus piss taking polititions bending our country over the table and dropping our trousers, next theyll be putting some lipstick on so we look nice ready for our ass raping I know look at how they were trying to get us to accept the bloody Euro. Thanks for putting it so bluntly 
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I like the "bork" language.
Example: Obama's speech:  My felloo ceetizens: I stund here-a tudey hoombled by zee tesk beffure-a us, greteffool fur zee troost yuoo hefe-a bestooed, meendffool ooff zee secreeffices borne-a by oooor uncesturs. I thunk Preseedent Boosh fur hees serfeece-a tu oooor neshun, es vell es zee generuseety und cuupereshun he-a hes shoon thruooghuoot thees trunseeshun. Bork Bork Bork! Furty-fuoor Emereecuns hefe-a noo tekee zee preseedentiel ooet. Zee vurds hefe-a beee spukee dooreeng reesing tides ooff pruspereety und zee still veters ooff peece-a. Yet, ifery su oofftee, zee ooet is tekee emeedst gezeereeng cluoods und regeeng sturms. Et zeese-a muments, Emereeca hes cerreeed oon nut seemply becoose-a ooff zee skeell oor feesiun ooff thuse-a in heegh ooffffeece-a, boot becoose-a Ve-a zee Peuple-a hefe-a remeeened feeethffool tu zee ideels ooff oooor furebeerers, und trooe-a tu oooor fuoondeeng ducooments. 
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while we're at it, why the hell isn't phonetic spelled phonetically?
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Sounds like new speak from 1984 by Orwell... ???
:~K |
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Funny isn't it, English for the official language of the E.U. and it is not the official language of the U.S.
imagine that |
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Funny isn't it, English for the official language of the E.U. and it is not the official language of the U.S. imagine that I guess the reason for that is the differences between English English, and American English. English English is being destroyed by the Americanisation, which is a shame.   ANOTHER thing the US has stolen from us. 
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Funny isn't it, English for the official language of the E.U. and it is not the official language of the U.S. imagine that I guess the reason for that is the differences between English English, and American English. English English is being destroyed by the Americanisation, which is a shame. ANOTHER thing the US has stolen from us. How could it be stolen from you? It is not the language of the U.S. sssshhhhhhhhzzzzzzzzzz
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And a few years later we'll all wind up something like this:
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/104259/ |
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I like the "bork" language. Example: Obama's speech: My felloo ceetizens: I stund here-a tudey hoombled by zee tesk beffure-a us, greteffool fur zee troost yuoo hefe-a bestooed, meendffool ooff zee secreeffices borne-a by oooor uncesturs. I thunk Preseedent Boosh fur hees serfeece-a tu oooor neshun, es vell es zee generuseety und cuupereshun he-a hes shoon thruooghuoot thees trunseeshun. Bork Bork Bork! Furty-fuoor Emereecuns hefe-a noo tekee zee preseedentiel ooet. Zee vurds hefe-a beee spukee dooreeng reesing tides ooff pruspereety und zee still veters ooff peece-a. Yet, ifery su oofftee, zee ooet is tekee emeedst gezeereeng cluoods und regeeng sturms. Et zeese-a muments, Emereeca hes cerreeed oon nut seemply becoose-a ooff zee skeell oor feesiun ooff thuse-a in heegh ooffffeece-a, boot becoose-a Ve-a zee Peuple-a hefe-a remeeened feeethffool tu zee ideels ooff oooor furebeerers, und trooe-a tu oooor fuoondeeng ducooments. Bork bork bork I love that, one of my favorite Muppet characters 
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