Topic: If your signifigant other cheated on you.....
no photo
Wed 11/04/09 09:43 AM
Depends on.... Why and Who?

lulu24's photo
Wed 11/04/09 10:03 AM

it's not so cut-and-dry for me.

it would depend on whether or not the person was a serial cheater, whether it was a long-term love affair, or whether it was a one-time occurance and there was certain regret on his part.

it would depend on whether we were married, with children, and whether or not i were still in love with him.


same for me.

i could possibly forgive sex, especially if we had more going for us...but i'm not sure if could forgive actual emotion. (well, forgive...yes. forget...maybe not.)

sometimes it's a wake-up call in a relationship, and it ends up stronger than ever.

there are no-returns for me, but sex isn't one of them.

no photo
Wed 11/04/09 10:16 AM

I would stab him to death with a large knife, roll his body up in my oriental
rug (would be a shame to ruin that rug) put his body and my rug in the trunk of my car, drive up the canyon and roll my rug, body included down a big mountainside...the animals would eat him..maybe the rug if there was enough blood on it. I would come home and play "our" song!



:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:

Goofball73's photo
Wed 11/04/09 10:25 AM

I would stab him to death with a large knife, roll his body up in my oriental
rug (would be a shame to ruin that rug) put his body and my rug in the trunk of my car, drive up the canyon and roll my rug, body included down a big mountainside...the animals would eat him..maybe the rug if there was enough blood on it. I would come home and play "our" song!



Now I know who to call when I need a hit put out on someone.laugh

averagejoe35's photo
Wed 11/04/09 10:25 AM
my most recent gf and i had a strange aggrement at one point where we went from dating to seeing each other. where we were still kind of together we hung out all the time but free to do whatever. needless to say i got drunk one night slept with another girl woke up the next day feeling like absolute ****. i didnt tell her for awhile then one night she went out and got really drunk and had sex with a kid i used to be friends with. she called me crying and came to my house the next mourning and we talked about it. i told her what i had done but it made us realize how much we cared for each other. made the relationship the strongest it had been. but college and distance ended it in the start of october. needless to say it all depends on the situation cause i know when i did it it wasnt considered cheating but she was all i could think of during the act and i literly just stoped and walked away.

Gator76's photo
Wed 11/04/09 10:51 AM

it's not so cut-and-dry for me.

it would depend on whether or not the person was a serial cheater, whether it was a long-term love affair, or whether it was a one-time occurance and there was certain regret on his part.

it would depend on whether we were married, with children, and whether or not i were still in love with him.


Same for me...plus agreement to see - separately and jointly - a marriage counselor. Anyone I loved, I would generally forgive depending on the circumstances, their contriteness and a one-time occurrence.

Lilypetal's photo
Wed 11/04/09 10:53 AM
No! Been there done that....I forgive but I can't forget. ohwell

Spirograph's photo
Wed 11/04/09 11:03 AM
Edited by Spirograph on Wed 11/04/09 11:03 AM
IF Erik were to cheat on me... there would be extreme circumstances surrounding the event.


There isn't anything that I wouldn't forgive him for. I can't stay mad at him.

I'd have to spend a bit more time with my therapist, but we'd work it out.

no photo
Wed 11/04/09 11:11 AM
Under what circumstances should you take a cheater back? How do you decide whether or not to give a cheating spouse or significant other a second chance? It depends on the circumstances under which the cheating occurred, and the cheater’s attitude about the affair.

When to Consider Giving the Cheater a Second Chance

If the cheater is genuinely sorry, has severed all ties with the Other Woman or the Other Man, and is willing to fully cooperate and do the hard work necessary to restore the relationship and rebuild the broken trust, then you might want to consider taking the cheater back and giving him or her a second chance if the infidelity occurred under the following circumstances:

• As an isolated incident, such as a one night stand.
• Under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
• While going through a midlife crisis.
• As a misguided response to a life crisis such as the death of a loved one or the loss of a job.
• In cases of sexual addiction, where the cheater is seeking, or willing to seek medical or professional help.

But forgiveness shouldn’t be handed over on a silver platter. It’s something you need to make the cheater earn. Otherwise, you’re only setting the stage for the cheating to happen again.

When NOT to Give the Cheater a Second Chance

It’s probably not a good idea to give the cheater a second chance if he or she:

• Refuses to sever ties with the Other Woman or the Other Man
• Continues to lie about any aspect of the affair
• Is a habitual or serial cheater who has had one or more affairs in the past
• Feels no guilt or remorse for having hurt his/her partner;
• Wants to sweep the affair under the rug and proceed as if nothing has happened
• Feels he or she has a right to cheat or have an extramarital affair
• Does not feel that the cheating was wrong
• Is a sex addict who refuses to seek help

Other Factors to Consider When Deciding if You Should Take a Cheater Back

In addition to the circumstances of the cheating and the cheater’s attitude about the affair, there are several other factors you should take into consideration:

• the type of infidelity
• what stage the affair is in
• the degree of the cheater’s emotional attachment to the Other Woman or the Other Man
• the cheater’s feelings about infidelity in general
• the cheater’s level of commitment to you and to your marriage or relationship.

PacificStar48's photo
Wed 11/04/09 11:13 AM
There are a lot of things I will not get my feathers rufled about but two things I will not tolerate in my man. One is laying a hand on me and the other is laying a hand on another woman. I always said I didn't believe in divorce but I sure did believe in justifiable homicide. lol I think any man who catches his woman necked with another man ought to give her to him just the way she is and not another stitch. Sure isn't worth looking back on. Good riddence to bad rubbish.

mssilverfox's photo
Wed 11/04/09 11:14 AM
NO, I can forgive but never forget...not going there again ever...

Goofball73's photo
Wed 11/04/09 06:04 PM
I still say LadyLid's answer is the way to handle this situation. laugh

earthytaurus76's photo
Wed 11/04/09 06:06 PM
laugh Oh hellll to the no.

ledi180's photo
Wed 11/04/09 06:06 PM
Highly HIGHLY unlikely bigsmile

would you forgive them and accept them back?

sweetsimplesassy's photo
Wed 11/04/09 09:58 PM

I would stab him to death with a large knife, roll his body up in my oriental
rug (would be a shame to ruin that rug) put his body and my rug in the trunk of my car, drive up the canyon and roll my rug, body included down a big mountainside...the animals would eat him..maybe the rug if there was enough blood on it. I would come home and play "our" song!




LMAO!!!! LOVE IT!!! I should of thought of this yrs ago....hehehe

no photo
Wed 11/04/09 10:02 PM
If I was cheated on, I would take a long hard look in the mirror.


Maybe I was doing something totally wrong in the relationship and it was my fault.


If that was the case, I would be willing to work it out.



sweetsimplesassy's photo
Wed 11/04/09 10:04 PM

If I was cheated on, I would take a long hard look in the mirror.


Maybe I was doing something totally wrong in the relationship and it was my fault.


If that was the case, I would be willing to work it out.






yea, but that doesnt give anyone a rightful excuse to cheat

no photo
Wed 11/04/09 10:07 PM


If I was cheated on, I would take a long hard look in the mirror.


Maybe I was doing something totally wrong in the relationship and it was my fault.


If that was the case, I would be willing to work it out.






yea, but that doesnt give anyone a rightful excuse to cheat


That's one reason why they do cheat, they know there's always someone willing to forgive that crap. To me, there is no excuse for cheating, even if something is "missing in the relationship." Either discuss it with the other person and try to work it out, or leave. But the idea that someone goes out and f*cks someone else and then wants to resolve their differences, it's crap. You stick your d!ck in someone else you're never sticking it in me again. Period.

no photo
Wed 11/04/09 10:07 PM


If I was cheated on, I would take a long hard look in the mirror.


Maybe I was doing something totally wrong in the relationship and it was my fault.


If that was the case, I would be willing to work it out.






yea, but that doesnt give anyone a rightful excuse to cheat






Ya. I don't think so either.

However, maybe I was not satisfying her.

Maybe I was not giving her the attention she needed and I was not romantic enough.

I would feel accountable for those reasons and at least listen, talk, repair the relationship perhaps.


There is never really an excuse for breaking a commitment of anykind.

Monier's photo
Wed 11/04/09 10:53 PM

would you forgive them and accept them back?


They would be gone. No possibility of returning to my life even as a friend