Btw what does "fallen" mean? If there is no love just lust, I'm not sure I know the definition of "fallen" in this case..

Gee. My ex did the same thing.

That's why she's my EX ...

Oddly enough, she, too, got her feelings hurt when he began cheating on HER ... It ain't rocket science - HE was cheating on HIS wife with HER and she was cheating on ME with HIM - but she expected HIM to be 'faithful' to HER ... ? Effing unreal ...

Key word: MARRIED ...

Wanna play? Key word: DIVORCED ...

My ex became "friends" with a woman when he was overseas. Yeah. Friends. We are getting a divorce and he has lost a wonderful woman. Me. And while she has repeatedly BEGGED him to choose her, he won't because that "relationship" destroyed all that was precious to him. He lost his family and that cannot be replaced. It can be added to, but never replaced.
You can't really help who you fall for, but you can prevent putting yourself in a situation that will create opportunity to "fall." No one wins when cheating occurs. You won't wind up with him. He might seem great and wonderful and all that, but he won't choose you over his family. If he did, would you really want him? If he does choose you, he is SO not worth your time, especially if he has kids and walks away from them for you.
We all make errors in judgement from time to time, especially where urges are involved. But the true test of our character is in how we handle the challenges we face.

You can stay happy if you know how to play the game, cash in the benefits, and dont expect much.


Date others, and keep your options open... hes the desperate one.. not you.


Ps... Lemme guess he told you 4 months into it that he was attached?


I dont know why but 4 always seems to be the magic number.


Ps happy ending? Probably not.

You may have a point but I have been dating for a year or so and have not had anyone take a hold of my heart like this one. I really think it is because believe it or not he really is a nice guy. I know he feels guilt too but I am not sure if I feel what he is doing is so wrong. If he stays with her what is the harm in him seeking something missing with her. I know that he has tried to get her to see things his way but she is not meeting his needs. That being said he loves her I know and for what ever reason that doesn't bother me. I know i should set the bar a little higher but i have dated and men and continue to keep options open but no one makes me feel like he does. All the other men I have dated just seem to bore me or no spark. I may be settling but it doesn't feel that way all the time.

I am having a hard time letting go. He is the closest thing i have found to what i would like to find in a my next partner. The cheating thing doesnt bother me. I know it happens and i know it doesn't mean you care for anyone any less it is just something that can make you feel good again if kids etc take over at home.

Wow Kings_Knight... if this thread upsets you so much, maybe just don't read it? Don't think you need to be mean? Certainly give your opinion by all means! or say "you don't care"... but no need to speak for everyone else by saying "No one Cares". Also... it really sucks the kids are caught in the middle, however, do you know this guys wife? You talk about her like she's soooo innocent? how do you know that? How do you know SHE'S not out screwing everything that moves? Point is, if a marrige is at this point, it's NOT ONE SIDED! Is it wrong? absolutely. But no need to basically tell her to just go screw off? Is that how people have helped you in the past when YOU made mistakes? or... you have just never made any mistakes?

wow! how do you know if there is something wrong with their marriage? the only word we have on that comes from the one person we know for a fact is cheating. to indict the wife here seems a bit careless. even if the marriage is on rocky ground it does not give him license to look else ware. does it?

to your point about it taking two….well you’re right in one sense, it does take two to maintain, cultivate, and keep a relationship going forward, however it does not necessarily take two to destroy it. all it takes is one and usually it is the one who is out developing other relationships.

I agree with kc ...


AND if this guy put the attention and time into his relationship with his wife that he is putting into his extra curriculars ... then perhaps his relationship with his wife might look significantly different to him.

This is not rocket science ... it is respect and consideration for one another...

I have very little tolerance for such things. You both are selfish and quite frankly a couple of losers........

Wow Kings_Knight... if this thread upsets you so much, maybe just don't read it? Don't think you need to be mean? Certainly give your opinion by all means! or say "you don't care"... but no need to speak for everyone else by saying "No one Cares". Also... it really sucks the kids are caught in the middle, however, do you know this guys wife? You talk about her like she's soooo innocent? how do you know that? How do you know SHE'S not out screwing everything that moves? Point is, if a marrige is at this point, it's NOT ONE SIDED! Is it wrong? absolutely. But no need to basically tell her to just go screw off? Is that how people have helped you in the past when YOU made mistakes? or... you have just never made any mistakes?

Wow Kings_Knight... if this thread upsets you so much, maybe just don't read it? Don't think you need to be mean? Certainly give your opinion by all means! or say "you don't care"... but no need to speak for everyone else by saying "No one Cares". Also... it really sucks the kids are caught in the middle, however, do you know this guys wife? You talk about her like she's soooo innocent? how do you know that? How do you know SHE'S not out screwing everything that moves? Point is, if a marrige is at this point, it's NOT ONE SIDED! Is it wrong? absolutely. But no need to basically tell her to just go screw off? Is that how people have helped you in the past when YOU made mistakes? or... you have just never made any mistakes?

Lots of good advice here. You can weigh everything in and see what works best for you. When it comes to the matters of the heart, sometimes logic and reason flies right out the window. If what you're doing bothers you in any way and makes you question your own actions then you know deep down there's something wrong somewhere. Hope in time you can figure it all out and do what's right for you. Good luck!

Dbl I agree with all that you've said except "The reason he is even cheating on his wife is because there is something wrong with there relationship. NOT JUST HIS FAULT. It takes TWO!! Never the less, he's not happy and is looking for something to fill that!"

IF he's not happy he should leave and THEN date/have sex, whatever you want to call it.. But as long as he's with his wife he in NO WAY should be cheating no matter she does UNLESS he has her blessing which obviously by LA's posts he does not... I don't think anyone's point here is that the wife is without blame.. Their point is "take care of your problems first, the right way.. Then do what you want".. In case there is confusion on the right way it is to "be single"...

Been there; done that. I learned my lesson and WOULD NEVER allow myself to date a married man again.... He's not going to leave his wife! Better yet! Present him with this: "I love you. I want to be with you.... Please leave your wife." Nip it in the butt! You're defining your life based on his needs and not what you want, which his him; and, that you'll never have. Ask for what YOU THINK YOU WANT; SEE WHAT YOU GET.

People don't frown on married men having affairs; but, they do frown on single women having affairs with married men. Just the way it is. I dated a married man for over a year. There is NO happy ending for you. You're single; he's not. When you finally reach a point where you don't want to share him anymore, you will give him an ultimatum.... you already know the answer. It won't be you. You're asking for advice on this matter because you are trying to justify your actions as I once did. Don't try to justify it or make excuses for having an affair with a married man. He captures your attention because he belongs to someone else. Women like a challenge. You will be alone for the holidays; and, other special occasions; he will be with his family, which is where he belongs. When you give him an ultimatum, he WILL walk and you will wished you'd ended this a very long time again.... He will move on to the next woman willing to settle for less; and, you will be left broken heart wondering why you wasted all this time, energy and focus on a situation that was destined to fail in the beginning. But, maybe you need to just simply live the experience to learn as most of us do in every day life. Whatever you do, I wish you well. You will live to regret continuing to see him if that's what you decide to do.

My opinions based on my experience. And, you're right. When you post something of this nature, the responses are not going to be good. I did that once upon a time.... It was vicious.

I was trashed. Take my advice and others here.... stop it now.... Dating a married man is like talking about politics or religion. People have very strong opinions. You simply need to have enough self respect to SAY NO. It may be hard; but, you'll get through it. Please email me if you need to talk.

Triple i agree then I guess you would say . You are correct but i expect he is still sleeping with his wife and no it doesnt bother me at all. In fact I know he still loves her. I also think he is the problem with the marriage not her at all but just my opinion from things he has said I always end up taking her side. LOL He doesnt talk about home life much anymore. LMAO I am really not as dumb as i may appear. Just needed to hear others opinions. I dont have anyone else to bounce this off of so Thank you both for your 2 cents. really! thanks!