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| Topic: Do you want to know WHY you're single? | |
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Some of us are ok with being single and some of us are on a perpetual hunt for "the one". I think those of us who are ok with being single can continue on with our lives being ourselves, doing what we do and IF someone great comes along, we're ready.
If you spend your whole life searching for someone you will continually fool yourself into thinking you MAY have found them, inevitably ending in heartbreak. You beat yourself up over and over again trying to figure out what went wrong. Eventually you become so jaded that you stop being yourself and start trying to be what you think they want you to be to prove you aren't going mad. And when they still don't want you, you convince yourself they are the ones who made you mad in the first place. Please people, be happy with who you are and someone, someday will come along to be happy with you. |
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To thine own self be true
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O.O ive never thought about it that way. I guess im always on the lookout for the one because I just have WAYYYYY too much love im just waiting to shower someone with. Ive only been in a few relationships, all very happy and all only ended due to distance :( becase paying for airline tickets is hard lol and ive been doing it since i was 15 XD. I will take your advice though :) i think i can be happy with being just my own bookwormish, martial artist, danceaholic self. maybe i will find that one mature woman :) maybe not XD
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This is a very good point, and delineates a scenario which can result in a lowering of standards that makes for some pretty horrendous mismatches (I speak from gobs and gobs of personal experience on this one).
As I like to say now (after enduring dozens of bad relationship scenarios), I'd rather be alone than be with yet another wrong person. |
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Some of us are ok with being single and some of us are on a perpetual hunt for "the one". I think those of us who are ok with being single can continue on with our lives being ourselves, doing what we do and IF someone great comes along, we're ready. If you spend your whole life searching for someone you will continually fool yourself into thinking you MAY have found them, inevitably ending in heartbreak. You beat yourself up over and over again trying to figure out what went wrong. Eventually you become so jaded that you stop being yourself and start trying to be what you think they want you to be to prove you aren't going mad. And when they still don't want you, you convince yourself they are the ones who made you mad in the first place. Please people, be happy with who you are and someone, someday will come along to be happy with you. This post should be a "MUST READ" for people when they sign up. I'm always amazed by how when people claim to have found "the one", they are usually miserable with out even seeing it themselves. To put this simply: You must love yourself, before you can expect another to love you. |
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Glad you guys like my post. I've been there and done that, I know the drill so I speak from experience.
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But i am the one
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O.O ive never thought about it that way. I guess im always on the lookout for the one because I just have WAYYYYY too much love im just waiting to shower someone with. Ive only been in a few relationships, all very happy and all only ended due to distance :( becase paying for airline tickets is hard lol and ive been doing it since i was 15 XD. I will take your advice though :) i think i can be happy with being just my own bookwormish, martial artist, danceaholic self. maybe i will find that one mature woman :) maybe not XD what is XD? just wondering |
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Glad you guys like my post. I've been there and done that, I know the drill so I speak from experience. Don't get me wrong -- I hate being single. You know what I hate more? Being WITH someone and WISHING I was single. |
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Myself I'm fine with being single.........sure it would be nice to have someone to do things with....But.....I don't feel that being with someone over rides with being with someone that wants you as much as you want them..... Good things all come within time... |
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Some of us are ok with being single and some of us are on a perpetual hunt for "the one". I think those of us who are ok with being single can continue on with our lives being ourselves, doing what we do and IF someone great comes along, we're ready. If you spend your whole life searching for someone you will continually fool yourself into thinking you MAY have found them, inevitably ending in heartbreak. You beat yourself up over and over again trying to figure out what went wrong. Eventually you become so jaded that you stop being yourself and start trying to be what you think they want you to be to prove you aren't going mad. And when they still don't want you, you convince yourself they are the ones who made you mad in the first place. Please people, be happy with who you are and someone, someday will come along to be happy with you. Very well put |
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Some of us are ok with being single and some of us are on a perpetual hunt for "the one". I think those of us who are ok with being single can continue on with our lives being ourselves, doing what we do and IF someone great comes along, we're ready. If you spend your whole life searching for someone you will continually fool yourself into thinking you MAY have found them, inevitably ending in heartbreak. You beat yourself up over and over again trying to figure out what went wrong. Eventually you become so jaded that you stop being yourself and start trying to be what you think they want you to be to prove you aren't going mad. And when they still don't want you, you convince yourself they are the ones who made you mad in the first place. Please people, be happy with who you are and someone, someday will come along to be happy with you. And they will come along when I hit the lotto and have millions! |
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Edited by
Atlantis75
on
Wed 08/25/10 02:58 PM
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Some of us are ok with being single and some of us are on a perpetual hunt for "the one". I think those of us who are ok with being single can continue on with our lives being ourselves, doing what we do and IF someone great comes along, we're ready. If you spend your whole life searching for someone you will continually fool yourself into thinking you MAY have found them, inevitably ending in heartbreak. You beat yourself up over and over again trying to figure out what went wrong. Eventually you become so jaded that you stop being yourself and start trying to be what you think they want you to be to prove you aren't going mad. And when they still don't want you, you convince yourself they are the ones who made you mad in the first place. Please people, be happy with who you are and someone, someday will come along to be happy with you. I agree. I also want to add, that those who are looking for the "one" are usually the ones who got plenty to choose from..and I hate to say this but there are more women looking for the "one" than guys. I think the biggest difference between guys and women's experience by dating is, that the majority (not all) of the guys have about 3-4 women they have found already they are interested in (at least) but those women won't respond back. For women..it's the "one" syndrome...just basically having plenty of choices but now many guys just thrown into this big pool of "not the ones". Eventually the guys give up on the non-responders and search for someone else and continue to keep trying to grab the attention at least one woman..while the women are SHIFT-CTRL deleting all the emails they get from guys, and some of them were actually may have been just the "one" they were searching for. It has to do with expectations, but also how there are plenty of guys out there, who just can't write more than 3 words in an email or thinks with his other head firs,t and it does show in their emails (I have seen women's email boxes what they get from guys, some of them are absolutely gross) . At the end of the day, women are tired of the horny guys wanting sex and gets tired of all the mails coming in and just mass deletes them. For guys, they try to get the attention of 2-3 ladies, but since there is no response back, they give up and might try the same thing all over again. So it's kinda running the mouse wheel..except those who figured it out already to leave the whole "search and mail" thing already, it seems like it's better off if a woman gets interested first in a guy than the other way around. Saves a bunch of headaches |
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I know why I am single. My wife passed away.
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I know why I am single. My wife passed away. I'm sorry to hear that but I was referring to those who don't understand why they are single. |
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Some of us are ok with being single and some of us are on a perpetual hunt for "the one". I think those of us who are ok with being single can continue on with our lives being ourselves, doing what we do and IF someone great comes along, we're ready. If you spend your whole life searching for someone you will continually fool yourself into thinking you MAY have found them, inevitably ending in heartbreak. You beat yourself up over and over again trying to figure out what went wrong. Eventually you become so jaded that you stop being yourself and start trying to be what you think they want you to be to prove you aren't going mad. And when they still don't want you, you convince yourself they are the ones who made you mad in the first place. Please people, be happy with who you are and someone, someday will come along to be happy with you. I agree. I also want to add, that those who are looking for the "one" are usually the ones who got plenty to choose from..and I hate to say this but there are more women looking for the "one" than guys. I think the biggest difference between guys and women's experience by dating is, that the majority (not all) of the guys have about 3-4 women they have found already they are interested in (at least) but those women won't respond back. For women..it's the "one" syndrome...just basically having plenty of choices but now many guys just thrown into this big pool of "not the ones". Eventually the guys give up on the non-responders and search for someone else and continue to keep trying to grab the attention at least one woman..while the women are SHIFT-CTRL deleting all the emails they get from guys, and some of them were actually may have been just the "one" they were searching for. It has to do with expectations, but also how there are plenty of guys out there, who just can't write more than 3 words in an email or thinks with his other head firs,t and it does show in their emails (I have seen women's email boxes what they get from guys, some of them are absolutely gross) . At the end of the day, women are tired of the horny guys wanting sex and gets tired of all the mails coming in and just mass deletes them. For guys, they try to get the attention of 2-3 ladies, but since there is no response back, they give up and might try the same thing all over again. So it's kinda running the mouse wheel..except those who figured it out already to leave the whole "search and mail" thing already, it seems like it's better off if a woman gets interested first in a guy than the other way around. Saves a bunch of headaches This is actually another problem I see. Men trying to figure women out and women trying to figure men out. Not gonna happen so stop trying to analyze the shlt out of it. Have respect for yourself and respect for others regardless of gender. This isn't boys against girls. Stop trying to figure us out and just love us the way we are (or switch teams). |
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At the end of the day, women are tired of the horny guys wanting sex and gets tired of all the mails coming in and just mass deletes them. For guys, they try to get the attention of 2-3 ladies, but since there is no response back, they give up and might try the same thing all over again. So it's kinda running the mouse wheel..except those who figured it out already to leave the whole "search and mail" thing already, it seems like it's better off if a woman gets interested first in a guy than the other way around. Saves a bunch of headaches This is exactly why I gave up on trying to write to anybody first -- it seems that, no matter what I say or how well I may write it, there is nothing I can put into a message that will get a response (to a first, unsolicited e-mail). So, I figured let them write to me. And, after I spent enough time in the forums and made enough posts and had enough people looking at my profile, I started getting e-mails. Lots and lots of e-mails. It's true that I haven't gotten any from people I would consider legitimate dating prospects, but you have to start somewhere. |
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Edited by
Atlantis75
on
Wed 08/25/10 04:13 PM
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(or switch teams). Not in this lifetime. The only switch I made is that I am not actively searching. I'll wait until a woman decides to contact me. If it won't happen than it won't if it does, then hallelujah! Unless of course she isn't the one. 
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Some of us are ok with being single and some of us are on a perpetual hunt for "the one". I think those of us who are ok with being single can continue on with our lives being ourselves, doing what we do and IF someone great comes along, we're ready. If you spend your whole life searching for someone you will continually fool yourself into thinking you MAY have found them, inevitably ending in heartbreak. You beat yourself up over and over again trying to figure out what went wrong. Eventually you become so jaded that you stop being yourself and start trying to be what you think they want you to be to prove you aren't going mad. And when they still don't want you, you convince yourself they are the ones who made you mad in the first place. Please people, be happy with who you are and someone, someday will come along to be happy with you.  I can get on with my life....woo hoo 
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