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Topic: What would you do?
Totage's photo
Thu 05/12/11 06:56 PM
Would you date or be in a relationship with someone who had a secret that they didn't want you to know about? Let's say this is an honest and faithful person, but they tell you they have a secret they can't tell you about. What would you do?

stefy's photo
Thu 05/12/11 07:08 PM
I honestly dont know!
I would be insecure. It would stay in the back of my mind. And i would probably not let it go! I think it would not work out.

Totage's photo
Thu 05/12/11 07:14 PM
I don't think it would work out either. I'm not sure if it would make me insecure, but it would certainly make me wonder, and when my mind wonders, that can be dangerous. lol

mightymoe's photo
Thu 05/12/11 07:20 PM
kill the bats, throw the money out the window, and pray you don't have to kiss anything...

RowBaby's photo
Thu 05/12/11 07:24 PM
If he was trustworthy, and assuming I loved him, I would allow him his secret.

fireflysgirl's photo
Thu 05/12/11 07:27 PM

If he was trustworthy, and assuming I loved him, I would allow him his secret.



yup...the truth & secrets generally surface eventually anyhow!

Atlantis75's photo
Thu 05/12/11 07:50 PM

Would you date or be in a relationship with someone who had a secret that they didn't want you to know about? Let's say this is an honest and faithful person, but they tell you they have a secret they can't tell you about. What would you do?

Been there. Told me her "secret" on the day of the break up.

This was a few years ago.

She was never "properly" divorced, her husband was gone somewhere nobody knew, but the reason she didn't file, because she was using his last name on various credit cards etc.

Imagine, that's after 5 months of dating! I kinda picked up on it after a few weeks, and I kinda felt, that it isn't gonna work out.

That's how easy to destroy a relationship early on. Uncertainty, lack of trust and dishonesty.

no photo
Thu 05/12/11 07:52 PM
if it is something he doesn't want me to know about he's not even gonna mention

if someone says something like that Totage they are really looking for someone to trust to talk to - just stay trustworthy and give respect for some privacy - don't rummage in possessions emails accts. etc or question her friends for info (she WILL find out and be pissed)...if she's brought it up at all she is planning to tell u on her time. I'd respect that

I've been in that position and he told me (prison)...love doesn't snoop

CrossRoadbell's photo
Thu 05/12/11 08:01 PM
huh NO SECRETS! To tell you they have a secret they can't tell you, then why tell you...pitchfork Mind **** is what I say.

Totage's photo
Thu 05/12/11 08:03 PM
I agree, if they bring it up, they want to tell it, but need to be able to trust completely. Personally, I would rather them not mention it until they have that trust in me. Telling me they have a secret, but can't tell me would make me push them away.

Goofball73's photo
Thu 05/12/11 08:06 PM
What? And let out that I am a cross dressing Ninja? Phuck that!

no photo
Thu 05/12/11 08:06 PM

I agree, if they bring it up, they want to tell it, but need to be able to trust completely. Personally, I would rather them not mention it until they have that trust in me. Telling me they have a secret, but can't tell me would make me push them away.


yes at first that is exactly what I did - I ended up hating myself for it because he turned out to be possibly the only honest person who ever gave a sh^t about my welfare in my life

most honest person I've known - ironically

except for my kids...

no photo
Thu 05/12/11 08:07 PM

What? And let out that I am a cross dressing Ninja? Phuck that!


well what about krupa? at least u have company

no photo
Thu 05/12/11 08:07 PM

If he was trustworthy, and assuming I loved him, I would allow him his secret.

:thumbsup:

haven't seen you in a minutewaving

soufiehere's photo
Thu 05/12/11 08:10 PM

If he was trustworthy, and assuming I
loved him, I would allow him his secret.

Absolutely.
People have full lives before
we meet them.

GravelRidgeBoy's photo
Thu 05/12/11 08:16 PM
If they did not want to tell you the secret then they would not have said that they had the secret in the first place. A relationship needs to have trust so if one person is openly holding a secret from the other person then I do not see that as a healthy relationship. It would not work out for me...

humuh's photo
Thu 05/12/11 11:36 PM
Stubbon truth is:in a relationship not all is said though much has to be told, the few that remains should not bother you much.....for as long as you are being loved and abiding by the laid covenant you have made-if any

humuh's photo
Thu 05/12/11 11:51 PM
On that note!! that secret was kinda tatamount,disastrous.....it had no roots because before her, it was not meant to grow.Secrets of that type are not meant for a serious relationship.....they are destructive

mylifetoday's photo
Fri 05/13/11 01:30 AM
Nope,

Absolutely not.

I was married for 12 years and there was a part to her that I never knew. She never said she had a secret, but I KNOW without a doubt that there was something very personal to her she never told me. I felt I never really knew who she was. And actually, as time went on, rather than getting to know her better, I found I knew less and less about her until I really had no clue what I could do that would put a smile on her face.

josie68's photo
Fri 05/13/11 03:02 AM
i hate secrets,
And as far as I can think there would be nothing that would make me stop loving someone.

So if he needed to have a secret, then I would probably be the wrong person for him. I hide nothing and expect the same in return..

Hmmm but I dont want to know about his sez life.

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