Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: Just friends?
funches Joined Sat 12/01/07 Posts: 12948	Fri 03/30/12 02:13 PM
I'm still confused about how women and men can't properly be friends. I suppose it is. I'm probably a little off center on this question because my last husband had numerous female friends he was close with. The majority of which he slept with. So, that's what I think of when I hear "we're just friends". I think it's rare for a man and a woman to be "just friends". One of them (most commonly the man) will usually want to sleep with the other. That doesn't mean that anything happens, it just means that the desire is there. IDK, I don't consider myself a guy, but a man, and I'm not really like most men. I just know that I can be friends with a women, find her to be attractive, but separate that from any sexual feelings. the fact that you find her attractive means that you couldn't seperate the sexual feelings No, there's different kinds of attraction. that has nothing to do with her? ...like her shoes for instance

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Fri 03/30/12 02:15 PM
I think it varys with different people but I can be just friends with men i have a few guy friends im friends with that i talk with. makes sense SOME people are incapable of seeing others outside of a sexual context ESPECIALLY if they are attracted to them SOME people take more BEFORE They begin to see someone in a sexual context than MERELY being attracted to them,,,

Sneaksintoyourheart Joined Fri 10/16/09 Posts: 19261	Fri 03/30/12 02:18 PM
I think it varys with different people but I can be just friends with men i have a few guy friends im friends with that i talk with. makes sense SOME people are incapable of seeing others outside of a sexual context ESPECIALLY if they are attracted to them SOME people take more BEFORE They begin to see someone in a sexual context than MERELY being attracted to them,,, first time some actually said i made sense lol kidding but like i said its different for different people. i have more guy friends then i do girl friend but all n all yes women can just be friends with a guy

Totage Joined Sat 10/13/07 Posts: 24210	Fri 03/30/12 02:18 PM
I think it varys with different people but I can be just friends with men i have a few guy friends im friends with that i talk with. makes sense SOME people are incapable of seeing others outside of a sexual context ESPECIALLY if they are attracted to them SOME people take more BEFORE They begin to see someone in a sexual context than MERELY being attracted to them,,, TY msharmony, I knew I could count on you to articulate my thoughts better. :P

funches Joined Sat 12/01/07 Posts: 12948	Fri 03/30/12 02:35 PM
I think it varys with different people but I can be just friends with men i have a few guy friends im friends with that i talk with. makes sense SOME people are incapable of seeing others outside of a sexual context ESPECIALLY if they are attracted to them SOME people take more BEFORE They begin to see someone in a sexual context than MERELY being attracted to them,,, TY msharmony, I knew I could count on you to articulate my thoughts better. :P not really... MsHarmony remarks points to starting off having a sexual attraction or developing a sexual attraction for the other

Totage Joined Sat 10/13/07 Posts: 24210	Fri 03/30/12 02:38 PM
Whatever you wish to perceive there funches

funches Joined Sat 12/01/07 Posts: 12948	Fri 03/30/12 02:43 PM
Whatever you wish to perceive there funches you mean the same as you preceiving youself as the new improved updated version of man that can look at women find them attractive but yet never have a sexual thought enters into your mind perhaps you should market that....under the name castration

Totage Joined Sat 10/13/07 Posts: 24210	Fri 03/30/12 03:43 PM
You're free to perceive whatever you wish.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Fri 03/30/12 03:44 PM Edited by msharmony on Fri 03/30/12 03:45 PM
why should it be hard to find someone attractive without thinking about them 'sexually'? I have plenty of beautiful people in my family,, never thought of any of them that way, but I totally know they are beautiful inside and out,,,,, attractiveness is not AUTOMATICALLY sexual attraction,,,,

Totage Joined Sat 10/13/07 Posts: 24210	Fri 03/30/12 03:46 PM
Some people are more sexual than others.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Fri 03/30/12 03:46 PM
I'm simply saying I can find people attractive, yet not want to have sex with them. So no, it's not sexual. If you're unable to do that, no problem. If you're unable to be friends with women, no problem. Everyone is different. if you claim that you find your male friends sexually attractive is the exact reason why you can't properly be their friends... you might even be their friends because you are sexually attracted to them that's one step from ....Friends with Benefits Re-read what I wrote.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Fri 03/30/12 03:46 PM
I'm still confused about how women and men can't properly be friends. I suppose it is. I'm probably a little off center on this question because my last husband had numerous female friends he was close with. The majority of which he slept with. So, that's what I think of when I hear "we're just friends". I've never cheated on anyone.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Fri 03/30/12 03:48 PM
Men and women can't be friends. Uhuh. I said it. They can never properly be friends. This is completely false I have many women friends. Actually ever since my best friend killed himself all of my friends are women. I have way to much respect for them to put the moves on any of them. Their friendship is to valuable to me to mess it up with sex! I don't think being friends would let any stand in the way of what they want. There's no way they can be actual friends with a woman. Gay men, yes yes. Nay straight men. Why not?

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Fri 03/30/12 04:00 PM
I'm still confused about how women and men can't properly be friends. I suppose it is. I'm probably a little off center on this question because my last husband had numerous female friends he was close with. The majority of which he slept with. So, that's what I think of when I hear "we're just friends". I think it's rare for a man and a woman to be "just friends". One of them (most commonly the man) will usually want to sleep with the other. That doesn't mean that anything happens, it just means that the desire is there. IDK, I don't consider myself a guy, but a man, and I'm not really like most men. I just know that I can be friends with a women, find her to be attractive, but separate that from any sexual feelings. the fact that you find her attractive means that you couldn't seperate the sexual feelings Not at all. Many of my friends are attractive. That doesn't mean I want to have sex with them.

Godiva Joined Tue 12/09/08 Posts: 5330	Fri 03/30/12 05:24 PM
I have friends who are of both genders. I have had friends who are gay and lesbian. I have friends who are transsexuals and who are cross dressers. I make it all very simple for myself and don't bother analyzing it. Men and women can be friends if they want to be. It is all pretty simple. If they can't do it without letting hormones or urges crop up, well that is their problem isn't it? I don't feel one is much a friend though if all one is thinking about is getting the others clothes off.

mg1959 Joined Thu 04/05/07 Posts: 7872	Fri 03/30/12 06:18 PM
What does friends have to do with sex anyway? You guys are watching too many porn flicks. If you could get your minds out of the gutter you might see that friends are completely separate from sex. feel like this is the Jerry Springer show

Ghostrider2u Joined Thu 05/17/07 Posts: 6953	Fri 03/30/12 07:35 PM
Very possible. Two of my closest friends are Women. I never thought it was anything but....Possible!!

jaded72 Joined Tue 12/06/11 Posts: 1456	Fri 03/30/12 09:43 PM
Basically it's like this, women see a nice guy and like his smile, the way he's kind to animals and old people, that he has an awesome sense of humor and a job. Men see boobies....no problem So true! I have had, and have, many male friends. I am often more comfortable hanging out with guys than women. I am also usually completely oblivious if someone is physically attracted to me, so I have never really considered it an issue. However, I have had a recent "enlightening" experience that has made me more aware of the alternative p.o.v. stated above. I laugh at my own naïveté in this area.

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Fri 03/30/12 09:44 PM
Do you think men and women can just be friends? Of course they can.

josie68 Joined Mon 11/22/10 Posts: 6270	Fri 03/30/12 09:50 PM
For Sure. All my friends are men. I don't have any women friends besides my daughters and Mum, never have. Not sure why, men just seem to be easier to be friends with.. Plus I guess I meet more men than women.