Now we're getting to the real issue. You don't think most men are honest.

I always tell the truth about my intentions. Have they been honest to you?

Yes, I have a number of male friends

my point was...if you found your boyfriend and husband "attractive" but yet claim,.. that you weren't sexually attracted to them

I'm curious if people are giving this same type of advice to their daughters....

yes susie you can spend the night over tommy's house

for sure mom...but his parents won't be home?

now now susie...tommy is your friend and friends never think about having sex with each other ...

Every guy? No. But, neither has every woman. It isn't a gender specific thing. And I am not going to assume everyone is going to be dishonest just because of the actions of a few.

Absolutely!

My only siblings are brothers. My mother passed away when I was 23. I have always related better to males than females. I have had friendships (platonic) with males and females. I am straight too.

I find no difference if they are a female or male when it comes to having friendships. The values within for friendships of loyalty, trust, through thick or thin are the same. What is a friendship by definition is not different for genders but has the same meaning. Inside people, in the core of our being whether male or female is the need for relationship.

I think someone one hit it on the nail when he said, "I think with my brain and not my ding dong". Maybe thinkers can be classified as those who behave in a civilized manner versus animalistic behaviour, those whose lives are ruled by their genitals. (?)

If they were my boyfriend or husband, I would be sexually attracted to them. If that stopped happening, again, something would be wrong.

You're talking to adults here who have the ability of making up their own minds. Not children. So, comparing us to children doesn't work in this case.

I don't assume EVERY penis is a liar. Most, not all.

so when you first met your husband or boyfriend ...did you at first find them sexually attractive or just attractive? ....

did you have sex with them before you became friends ....or have sex with them after you became friends

I could be friends with a guy, hang out and even stay over at his house with no physical contact. I would NOT allow my daughter to be in that situation with inexperienced emotions.

But that would be if only both of us were single and unattached. I would never disrespect mine or his significant other.

why would you be disrespecting yours or his significant other if you are Friends and spent the night over his home?

Because I believe, and not everyone believes this way, that you should have different behaviors being single vs. in a relationship. And spending the night with another male while in a relationship is something I don't feel is acceptable.

How does someone properly be friends?

First take out the work proper for now and look at how does someone be friends. A friend is someone who knows you and you know them. A friend becomes one over time. When a friendship is built it is established on trust, loyalty, through knowing each other, there is a relationship. A friendship is built over time, a relationship is established. A relationship where you can count on each other in good times, sad times... through all things in life. Someone who is there to share without restriction someone to count on. Friendships reach different levels. To add in the word proper, and be proper friends would imply a relationship of trust, loyalty and mutual respect.

And why can't men and women do so?

I disagree. Men and women can be friends at a deep level and keep it platonic though mutual respect. Friendship is also a basis for marriage going beyond or deeper in the friendship, a type of relationship that includes sexual intimacy.

We live in the age that is a civilized social society. People (generally) do not behave animalistically nor harvest barbaric behaviours. Humans operate in an intelligent manner with our brain and have control of desire, respecting other people's marriage bed choices, people in general. Absolutely men and women can be friends!


There is always an exception for individuals who have mental handicaps, disorders or issues/challenges in life.

TammyA... first off I totally agree with your post...but the post presents a Quagmire

if a woman is no longer single, is it still acceptable for her to spent the night over a female friend's home? ..... but not the home of a male...if they are friends?

I've never had a husband.

If it has been a boyfriend, we're not talking about friends.

so you never been friends before becoming lovers?

Not really.

Exactly......in MY opinion