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Topic: what constitutes ' damaged goods' ?
RustyKitty's photo
Wed 09/30/15 05:23 PM
what does that mean?
sloppy seconds?
a whiner?

no photo
Wed 09/30/15 05:27 PM
damaged goods' ?

If a guy says it to about a woman, he means she has been "used or abused", by other men.

If a woman says it, she may mean he is psychotic or has baby mama drama...laugh

Datwasntme's photo
Wed 09/30/15 05:28 PM
what does that mean?

sloppy seconds? .... i think its better if i dont touch that one
i like not being in mingle jail
you can do a net search : )

a whiner? .... a complainer , some one that makes a mountain out of a mole hill ... gets bit by a bug and its the end of the world like someone has chopped there arm off

mightymoe's photo
Wed 09/30/15 05:45 PM

what does that mean?
sloppy seconds?
a whiner?


DG= mental issues
SS= if a woman does more than one dude in a night, or if guys are friends and they both get her, the last is sloppy seconds

whiner= same as always

no photo
Wed 09/30/15 06:37 PM
i have mostly heard damaged goods used to describe some one who's past prevents them from having a good relationship

she cheated so you are cheating so we are done... for example

TxsGal3333's photo
Wed 09/30/15 06:56 PM
I had someone make the comment a few weeks ago calling himself damage goods.. Sorry I don't believe in that saying, I told him it was just called living life and he would get past it. To me no one is damaged goods... We all have had our heart broke but still not broken..

It is all in the way that we choose to either pull ourselves together and stand tall or let life take us down... it's our choice.. But no one is damaged beyond repair....

Humm sloppy seconds to me always was being someones second choice cause they could not have the one they wanted. So they went with the next one in line but really always thinking of the one they lost...sad2

Whiner well pretty simple someone that is always complaining about something and can never see the good in things..whoa

kc0003's photo
Wed 09/30/15 06:59 PM
damaged goods = Glenn Close (well, her character anyway...)

TawtStrat's photo
Wed 09/30/15 07:27 PM
It's not always that they've been abused by other men. Some might have been abused by their siblings or parents. Then for complex reasons they tend to end up in abusive relationships. They're damaged goods because if you're a nice guy to them they just keep pushing you away and for reasons that I don't entirely understand they will only get into a relationship with a control freak. Well, they will only stay in a relationship with a control freak.

That's why "nice guys" avoid them. It's very sad.

no photo
Wed 09/30/15 07:32 PM
TawtStrat quote,

they will only get into a relationship with a control freak. Well, they will only stay in a relationship with a control freak.

That's why "nice guys" avoid them. It's very sad.

I have seen this ^^^^ alot. And then they say ' Why cant I get a good guy ".... slaphead
* Because they don't want one & have " V" for victim tattooed on there forehead *

TMommy's photo
Wed 09/30/15 07:40 PM
Edited by TMommy on Wed 09/30/15 07:45 PM
because the first relationship we see as children is between our parents
or between the mother and who ever it is she is with

if this is dysfunctional and physically, mentally, emotionally abusive
then the child grows up watching her mother accept this abuse

and she grows up thinking this must be normal

her mother has a damaged self esteem and instead of installing
strength and confidence in her daughter
she installs self doubt and a victim mentality

now this child with the little damaged psyche goes off into the world of dating and ends up by some kind of 'magic' with a man that is abusive


the cycle is perpetuated



oh and as far as why a woman would choose to be with an abuser
instead of a nice guy?

there has been damage done
a kind of brainwashing ...mental manipulation
that often occurs with being in an abusive relationship

and so she now believes that she somehow does not deserve
a good man

TawtStrat's photo
Wed 09/30/15 07:53 PM
Yeah, it can be hard to feel sorry for them sometimes. Especially if you're a guy that was nice to them that they messed about.

Then you're less inclined to be such a nice guy (mug) with the next one that comes along. You know you're just going to get used here and all you're going to get out of it is a bit of sex until she starts to get feelings for you that she can't handle. You end up being like them and won't give them more than they're giving you.


TMommy's photo
Wed 09/30/15 08:02 PM
Edited by TMommy on Wed 09/30/15 08:04 PM
everyone that comes out of a bad relationship is told the same advice by family and well meaning friends

" you need to date a nice guy "
and in theory this sounds good

someone that would take them out
pamper them, treat them nice for a change
flatter, compliment their ego


the problem is that most..not all will self destruct
self sabotage this relationship

because they cannot allow themselves to trust it


oh and I should add that it's not just women that do this
men will also do this if they are coming out of a bad relationship

no photo
Wed 09/30/15 08:14 PM
what constitutes ' damaged goods' ? what does that mean?

Whatever the person uttering the phrase wants it to.

Helps if you describe:
- The context of the conversation.
- The relationship between the people in the conversation.
- The relationship between the people and the "damaged goods" person in the conversation.

Was it said to you by some stranger on the bus about someone that stumbled on drunk?

Was it said to you by your mom after you introduced them to your new date/boyfriend/girlfriend?

Was it said about you by a guy that you just rejected?

Was it said about you by a guy you tried to email and is rejecting you?

Did your friend say that about themselves to you?

Did a guy on the internet that wants to date you type it in their email to you?

Without any contextual information, and based on a quick google search of "damaged goods definition" it means:
noun
a person regarded as inadequate or impaired in some way.

RustyKitty's photo
Wed 09/30/15 08:22 PM

what constitutes ' damaged goods' ? what does that mean?

Whatever the person uttering the phrase wants it to.

Helps if you describe:
- The context of the conversation.
- The relationship between the people in the conversation.
- The relationship between the people and the "damaged goods" person in the conversation.

Was it said to you by some stranger on the bus about someone that stumbled on drunk?

Was it said to you by your mom after you introduced them to your new date/boyfriend/girlfriend?

Was it said about you by a guy that you just rejected?

Was it said about you by a guy you tried to email and is rejecting you?

Did your friend say that about themselves to you?

Did a guy on the internet that wants to date you type it in their email to you?

Without any contextual information, and based on a quick google search of "damaged goods definition" it means:
noun
a person regarded as inadequate or impaired in some way.


This thread topic was started from another thread where I found the connotation...

jacktrades's photo
Wed 09/30/15 09:15 PM
To be honest we all are damaged goods from one extent to another.

4feelings4filled's photo
Wed 09/30/15 09:27 PM
OVER RIPE

TawtStrat's photo
Wed 09/30/15 09:44 PM

everyone that comes out of a bad relationship is told the same advice by family and well meaning friends

" you need to date a nice guy "
and in theory this sounds good

someone that would take them out
pamper them, treat them nice for a change
flatter, compliment their ego


the problem is that most..not all will self destruct
self sabotage this relationship

because they cannot allow themselves to trust it


oh and I should add that it's not just women that do this
men will also do this if they are coming out of a bad relationship


I was in an abusive relationship with an extremely demanding woman that wanted to be pampered and what you said. For the life of me I don't know what made her damaged goods, as far as ex boyfriends go, apart from that she told me that her last boyfriend was just a waster. I talked to her about abused women and she didn't have much sympathy for them and she said that they wouldn't keep going back if they didn't like it. She said that she had been lucky and that all of her boyfriends had been nice guys; including me, believe it or not.

She constantly nagged and mithered me and it was all, "I had this from my ex. I'm not taking it from you." I was clean and sober when I met her. A woman like that can drive a man to drink.

Where I'm at years on and after the last one that I met turning out to be a total liar when she seemed to be a really nice genuine person is that I'm probably going to find it a bit hard to trust somebody now.

It isn't that I have trust issues in the sense that I'm a control freak stalker, although I had to go onto the internet and bloody Facebook to try to find out just how much I had been lied to. I had good reasons to be suspicious and I turned out to be right.

I'm the opposite of a control freak. I don't even like to call them anymore and I won't believe that it's a relationship until they're calling me regularly and not messing me about. It's not turned me into a demanding person. I know that I can't control women. I have no control over a relationship. Not unless I back off.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Thu 10/01/15 02:59 AM

I had someone make the comment a few weeks ago calling himself damage goods.. Sorry I don't believe in that saying, I told him it was just called living life and he would get past it. To me no one is damaged goods... We all have had our heart broke but still not broken..

It is all in the way that we choose to either pull ourselves together and stand tall or let life take us down... it's our choice.. But no one is damaged beyond repair....
...

Indeed it is a choice, and you could get past it. But many don't.
To me damaged goods is those who remain stuck in the past and keep projecting what happened onto new women they come across. They keep recycling what their ex did to them, and create the conviction that "all women are bad", and they never take responsibility for what they themselves did wrong to cause the divorce/ breakup.
Then they repeat it with new partners (if they can get one stupid enough to fall for them) until eternity. And each relationship going wrong, confirms their self-created conviction that indeed all women are bad!!

It's the ones that victimize themselves, and revel in the sympathy they get, and seem to get addicted to it.
Happens to both genders.

So I agree, it is a choice, nevertheless there's a whole lot of damaged goods out there.

TMommy's photo
Thu 10/01/15 03:43 AM
there are some people who walk around with a chip on their shoulder
a vendetta if you will
instead of placing this hostility where it belongs
they take it out on whatever poor unsuspecting guy or girl that comes along

TawtStrat's photo
Thu 10/01/15 04:05 AM
I don't think that I do that. I still like women and don't "take it out on them". Nevertheless, when I meet someone and they start doing the same things: messing me about; taking their ex baggage out on me; bla bla bla; I say no and I'm not putting up with this again, thankyou.

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