I am very close to my mom and now in relationship with this lovely lady.
My lady and I have a weekend plan but my mom is calling me home for a family get together. Now I am struck where to go and whom to say NO. Totally in pickle now

Very easy, who did you make plans with first? Plain and simple.

That would be girlfriend dude but what to say to mom then?

option: Tell your mom why your going to Skype her. Parents understand this stuff. Mind-you all your mom"s friends will know what you have been up too. She will be very happy for you
P.s. Your mom will enjoy giving you "hot tips"

I would think a caring girlfriend would
want you to change plans if a special
family gathering came up..specially if
you took her to it.

Remember
Your gf and mom will work together to entrap you. It's a women bonding thing haha! Your mom may gain a daughter

Why can't you do both things. Life is full of compromises. This is just another one of them. ..time management skillf come to the front and center here . Choose wisely .

I don`t know if you guys follow my other thread but I have been with this girl for just two weeks now so it would be too soon for me to introduce her to my family. This is a family event so my relatives from Spain, England, India and other parts of states will be coming, so I guess you guys understand the magnitude of the event. So if I have to make an excuse it should be perfect? Also it is Jenny`s birthday so I can`t miss that too. Hope you understand my pickle now

Well, if you've only been with her for 2 weeks, just tell her something with your family came up. If she is not understanding about it, well, it's better that you know what type of person she is now than later. Theoretically, she SHOULD be understanding about the situation.

Just explain to her what has come up and how rare and difficult it is for your family to have such a get together.
I must say I find it a bit strange you didn't know this sooner? If all your relatives are coming from far away, surely this was organised at least 2 months ago?

If the girlfriend is understanding, I don't think it should be a problem, esp not since you only barely know each other.
Do however offer an alternative for what you miss out on together, and make an effort to make that extra special for her (and you).

But to be honest, it is up to you entirely, what is more important to you?
If you and your mother are really so close, she will let you make your own decisions in life, so it shouldn't be a problem even if you wouldn't go.

good luck!

Not really.
Reschedule with the "girlfriend" of 2 weeks.
Go to the family reunion whatever.
Bring back presents and stories and happiness.

Doesn't seem that hard.


Of course it could depend on some things.
Like if your mom finances your life.
Or if your girlfriend spent thousands of dollars on a cruise that can't be changed.
Things of that nature.

But this:

to me simply means "we're going to the movies" or something simple.

I can't tell what the problem here is, really, though.
Without much in the way of details it can either be:
"I don't want to tell my girlfriend no, and want to avoid any kind of potential conflict for fear of losing her and not being who she wants me to be at any second of any day! I am highly insecure."
or
"My girlfriend of 2 weeks is planning a seriously spectacular event and milestone for us this weekend, but my mom is reminding me of my filial duty and responsibility. I am guaranteed I am either going to disappoint and let down my 2 week girlfriend or let down and disappoint my mother."
or
"I am concerned about my persona and how I'm perceived. I have to prove I am reliable and committed, so I need to fulfill my commitments, things I've agreed to. But I also want to be seen as the type of person that cares about family, family ties, family bonds, cares about his mother, so I need to live up to that to."

Humm so you just now found out about the family gathering???

Most family gathering of that nature is planned a head of time not just a couple of days prior..

But honestly with you only knowing the girl for two weeks.. Be honest with her and tell her the truth...

But then that depends if you knew about the family gathering prior to making plans with this new girl you have only known for a couple of weeks..

Sounds like some info is missing here..

But myself I would explain to the them and make the family gathering... Family comes first. Besides who knows the new girl by next week may be history.. Then you will regret not being with family when you should have been..

If the new girl does not understand that then it would not be someone I would want to have a relationship with... If it is her B-day weekend you can always make plans for the next weekend with her and add something special for her understanding you need to be at the family gathering..

Okay I guess I missed few explanations in between as pointed out by you gals (Thank you for that). This was suppose to be a surprise party planned by my parents but my cousin called me and blew the candle. As my parents don`t know about my relationship, they felt that "I would be available" as stated by my mom after I asked her about the party(so I am quite sure they will like to hook me up with some gal in the party too).

On the other hand after that well planned in-my-house date, Jenny is quite serious in my life and it is her first birthday which we like to celebrate as a couple and I guess you guys understand the importance of that.

Jenny lives in LA and my parents live in San Jose so I need to drive anyway.
I hope I didn`t miss anything now...oh the birthday plan was first made and yesterday I came to know about my parent`s party.

Ummm.. man up! and do what you want to do.. I'm sure your mom will understand.. if you want to go be with your girlfriend.. after all your mother probably only wants you to be happy yes..?.. and you don't want your girlfriend thinking you're a mummy's boy do you..lol

Forgot to mention, she already used the L word and I replied the same back to her. So the relationship is serious and I want to make it work as she is great.

Exactly I don`t want her to think in any way wrong about me but also don`t want to make my mom feel bad too that she planned the party and I m not there. Here Man up is not going to work my friend
Need to find a intelligent solution here

This was something in my mind too where I can balance them both. But how is the pickle here

If you guys are using the L word already - oh my that's another topic in itself - haha....anyway, if you guys are using that word to each other, maybe the best solution is to just bring her to the party. I mean, you said it's serious....

..yes.. this is the.. intelligent solution sometimes we have to be grown ups.. and make hard decisions..
Yours is a Ezzz ..1..do what you wish to do..
Like I said your mother only wants you to be happy.. I'm sure she will be fine with you going away with your girlfriend.. because your mother is an adult. And understands we have to make hard decisions.. are you an adult if so act like one.. tell mommy dearest you not going to make the party something came up.... well I can only imagine you're hoping something comes up... wink... dude just tell your mom I'm sure she'll understand..

Seems simple enough.
If she has half a brain, she should be
flattered by the 'pickle.'