Different Strange?

no real definitive answer there....depends on the individual...some are unhappy others simply selfish some just plain bored others are unable to stay committed in a monogamous relationship due to what some may consider personality defects. make ur errors and learn ur lessons. good thread...it's funny to me to see the bitterness come out in people...THEY'RE ALL SELFISH etc...no that was probably ur experience and clearly ur still scarred from that. I've cheated (long ago) been cheated on seen it from both sides and one things certain..damage will be done. if you truly love someone you don't cheat on them that's what I've learned from my experiences.

"Hey! She does things my wife won't do at home.." -- Robert DiNiro: Analyze That.

I think it's plain selfishness. They want what they want when they want it. It may be that there are some who either don't want to work on their marriage or don't know how to be in a real relationship with another person. A marriage is more than sex, it takes real communication and problem solving to keep a marriage strong, and for some they seem to have no concern to what their partner may feel.

When I tell men who have contacted me that I won't date a married man, they try to assure me that the either the wife is cheating too, or that the wife knows. I refuse to get involved in a marriage. Dealing with one person is bad enough, but to get into a triangle, is just crazy.

I ponder this all too frequently being as I myself, am in a relationship with a man who cheats.

It is said that men are biologically wired to "spread the seed." Which in cave man days was essential to our species. Makes sense. As our species has evolved, society has created a million little things we all should do, shouldn't, how we should behave morally, what we all need, ect. Monogamy is one of those things. It isn't particularly human nature.

I'm not saying I'm all for lies and deceit, I think if you know what your partner expects, sneaking around is disgusting. Not to mention dangerous nowadays with all the diseases you can bring home.

I guess my point is that I believe you can love someone, but still seek a purely physical release elsewhere. Whether it's a subconscious hard wired desire, being sexually bored, needing an ego boost, ect. cheating is something everyone is capable of, everyone thinks about to some degree or another, and sex is what you let it be. Sex can be as meaningless or as emotional as you make it.

I just wish more couples could be more open and honest about their needs and sexual desires or perversions and all the sex **** we let ruin our connections to others out of fear or embarrassment. If this open dialogue truly existed and we could all let go of the ego and expectations of society, sex could be a little less of a gauge for love and we could better understand the freakish complex layers of sexual attraction.

"Hey! She does things my wife won't do at home.." -- Robert DiNiro: Analyze That.

I'm not trying to be Doctor Phil or Oprah, but most likely when a male/female steps out of their marriage or relationship. It has something to do with a "lack" of getting something from their partner. For example, sex. They might require a little more spark, kinkiness, domination or extra care when behind closed doors. Another would just be they aren't that attracted to you anymore and just don't know how to tell you. It could be many things but I'm at work and can't type the way I want.

Cheaters are not truly in love. Love as many thought as a feeling only involves Commitment. If you really love your partner you will have respect and self control. Don't
be away from each other becayse you are giving the devil the chance to tempt you. Make God the center.

This comes up fairly often.

I long ago decided that cheating is best defined mechanically. No, I'm not talking about the detailed sexual gymnastics, I'm talking about the decision making and the actions.

Quite simply, no one cheats by accident. No one cheats who didn't actively want to. Yeah, they'l whine and wheedle to you when they get caught, and CLAIM that they were driven to it, or didn't mean to, but that's typical five-year-old "I was being good, and Some Guy/Girl Came In Here And Made Me Do It" stuff.

Look at the difference between people who cheat, and people who never do: it's straightforward, and has NOTHING to do with how much sex they get from their partner, what funny costumes anyone wears, or money, or anything else like that.

The simple difference is, that the cheaters believe at their core that their personal fun is more important than anything else, and the people who DON'T cheat think otherwise.

That's it.