I am learning the awareness of the nuances of dating local..I have met a gentleman, who, it turns out, knows quite a few of my friends or people I know... and quite frankly... it is freaking me out. As we have conversations, I learn he knows this person,, and that person,,,, say,wwhhaaatt????
I am thinking that perhaps that striking up a LDR may be better for me..

You are demonstrating a modicum of paranoia and narcissism as what difference does it make to you whom he knows that you know? Are you embarrassed or ashamed of yourself and dating? Get help you are not helping him nor yourself with such an attitude...The world is full of people and trying to keep them apart is ludicrous...

I think most people would enjoy finding out that someone they just met knows a lot of the same people as you do. It's interesting how we can be so close and yet so far away. Also, it is easier for that person to fit into your already established social circle when they know some of the same people.

But only you can decide if that is for you or not.

Ohh.. the price we pay for being freaky and kinky..lol.. God forbid someone you meet knows the people you know!.... and then tells them what a kinky little girl you are...lol.. or that you met online... how embarrassing..lol.. how on Earth would you ever live that down..lol..wink

If you have lived several diverse places across the USA at least you will find that even then you often bump into someone who knows someone you knew. Almost the 7 degrees game.

What freaks me out, more or less, is when a person starts rattling who they know an blah blah blah because "once a name dropper/gossip always one" and I like my privacy so I do not want to be the next topic of conversation which seems inevitable.

I wish I could remember the quote about "What people talk about?" Gist of it was generally small ordinary people talk about each other but great people talk about ideas I think.

Too early in the morning and I have not had my coffee.

that does sound crazy ill be ur ldr

swfguy31:



Why would a 31-year-old man in Florida want a LDR with a 60-year-old woman in Canada.

Paranoia has set in. Treat your new beau as if he was someone you met locally (outside the net) and see where it goes naturally. Unless you think he is going to rat to your parole officer ... don't worry.

Why?

Do you truly thrive on the anonymity of the internet and need to feel absolute control over your environment?
Where you control who knows what about you at all time and how and when that information is presented? Is it you prefer to have absolute control over your image and how people judge you?

Or do you feel a heightened sense of potential expectations? Where you feel it's going to be expected that you spend more time in a group with friends in common?

Do you believe any of that says anything positive?


Why let fear rule.

Had to laugh RK, I feel exactly the same..
the idea of dating (when I dated) anyone
nearby was horrific, I mean, they would be
so..close..after hahahaha.

I think a LDR is ideal for getting to know
someone, you get quality chatting time that
is not always available to you up close and
personal..you can take time building a
letch for them..if it does not work out
they are too far away to be of concern :-)

Local people can fool ya just as well as someone from a distance can.

Dating always has a risk factor attached to it.

The person can indeed prove to be someone who betrays the confidance of the relationship, putting you in an awkward position .

....or he could end up being a splendid guy who respects your value for privacy .

The good news is that you can take your time in getting to know him, and let his actions , and your your instincts reveal to you if he is worth taking that risk over.

what are you really looking for?

a relationship that has the possibility of becoming long term
and making a commitment to each other and moving in together or marriage
in which case living in same town and knowing some of the same people is nice



or..someone you would like as a FWB or a casual encounter
in which case you might want some anonymity and privacy in your own town

Thank you for your ideas and comments
It is food for thought

Indeed...why

Who cares who he knows

It's a small world.

The guy I am friends with knows some people I know
He certainly isn't a nut job.

You can use it to your advantage by asking them what they think of him.
He might turn out to be a damn good guy.

this summer i will try local.
enough LDR.

to make it clear, i put boundaries

well, I was thinking more in the line of the status..as in staying in the friend zone and maybe not progressing past that...

ha, ha,..a gentleman doesn't kiss & tell..