You finally meet his/her family...and discover they are...well...trash.
Is it important for you to like the whole family, or just the one you're dating?

Tolerate may be a better word?

Regardless what the family is like I would not be dating them and know how to keep my distance..

I would be civil around them and just not be around them very often...

if the man in my life
came from a highly dysfunctional family background
but yet somehow due to his character, grit and determination
he turned out to be a really decent, hard working good guy
this would only strengthen my respect and admiration for him


as far as his family..I tend to look for the reasons behind the dyfunctional behavior

I would have no need to fix them
but out of respect for this man
I would tolerate them
..in small amounts

uh like at Christmas

Stay with her, swerve them as much as possible.

it really depends on how much it rubs off and how much interaction is required

yep :)

My x's family was basically " The Adams family", but I didn't marry them.. I married her.

you can pick your friends, but not your relatives.

..ohhh something tells me you would need to fix them..lol

If I met a woman and her family were cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs..lol
I would embrace them all tightly..
And say..... I'm finally home...
Now where's the Fruit Loops?..
Lol

ssshhhh...I was sounding all understanding and magnanimous ..
I'd probably be more like this

Pretty much what I figured as well..lol

They would always be taking out the trash right?
Every time they left the trailer?

I would HIRE them mon!

Depends on the relationship the one I'm dating has with their family.

I mean I've dated women who've lived like a block away from their parents, siblings down the street. A family can create a constant and immediate toxic dating environment.

Seems wrong, to me, to ask someone to compartmentalize their life, make them choose me over their family, expect them to make me the focal point of their entire social life, or make them be the peacekeeper. So if I couldn't like their family, or main figures like their parents, then I would probably stop dating them rather than ultimately force them into that position.

I wouldn't play the "tolerate" game.
In practical reality that just means communicate dislike and disdain through indirect behavior, or otherwise put up a social facade and be a fake person.

If their family is a significant part of their life, a significant part of who they are, it would be wrong (to me) for me to be someone I'm not, or play passive aggressive games with a significant part of who they are.

All that means is it's pretty important for me to like their family, or the important family anyway.

Might as well ask, or seems little different to me than, "if you're dating a woman with a young kid, and that kid is a POS, is it important that you like the kid, or do you only have to like the mom?"

Depends on how big a part her family plays in her life and how much of her background comes up in her norms and values and behaviour. But I'm guessing in that scenario not much, otherwise you wouldn't have been surprised.
It all depends on how much you need each other's families to be part of your life.
I for one am not all that into spending lots of time with family, very different from what I understand the average American to be like.

It can also happen the other way round: partner being the average Joe, his family a bunch of snobs. That might be even harder to deal with, haha.

I don't want trash in-laws!