why is it I have noticed that most women after a divorce

are on here looking for a relationship

but most men it seems are looking for something casual

explain please...

I get mulitiple messages a day asking if I am into hook-ups
when I say no
they get downright nasty


so tell me the reasoning behind it
and why does it seem so common
as we get older?

Having read comments by many of the male American posters on here I get the impression that they are only prepared to allow themselves to be fleeced once.I'm not sure that there are figures to support your assumptions.From the mail I receive it seems that more than 90% of the women on here are scammers but of course they could be men masquerading as women.

mmmmm but what if you are on more than one site
and have taken it into your head
that you are only after a casual fling


is it because you have been burned one too many times?

or is it because relationships take too much work?



not trying to condemn anyone for their answers
you can PM me if you would rather


I really just wanna know

Agreed,relationships take a lot of work and when the statistics show the majority of marriages end in divorce is it worth the investment (pun intended) ?.In a world where instant gratification is the norm and almost everything is disposable we have lost our sense of values.We know what everything costs but we don't know what it is worth.

I'm thinking that more men should answer this.

As for myself, after my divorce, I was not looking for casual or a relationship. I was happy to be alone.

I am one of few men on here looking for serious relationship but am unable to find it. Beginning to think nobody wants make any type of commitment anymore

I suppose I am something like most men,I just don't want to go through it all again ,I enjoy being alone most of the time ,doing what I want when I want,I am looking for a lady for a bit of company / support and offer the same ,as for quick hookups the idea disgusts me,

hm. Well, maybe my attitude doesn't count, but I'm mention it just in case it's what you're looking for.

I personally have NEVER wanted just a "casual" relationship. Just not of interest to me.

For one thing, relationships of an intimate sort, always involve a tremendous amount of work, and emotional risk, in my experience, probably because I always tend to get personally involved. But who knows.

Anyway, due to having a very bad time of dealing with state governments in order to resolve my divorce, I'm not anxious to get married again, even if I do find someone to be very serious about.

But I'm certainly not interested in being in a "casual" relationship. I had my fill of those when I was very young, and never want to go anywhere near one again.

Though divorced,
I wasn't here immediately following the
joyous event.

Can't recall having ever been here, or
any other site, actually looking for anything.


I've always kinda just been here, to tie up
bandwidth.

sociologicaly, its very common for men to seek physical comfort after a divorce or death of a partner. studys were done in austrailia that show that men, for all our (some of us) bluster and confidence in in tatters after these events. the need for validation takes the form of a lot of sexual activity. studys also show that this effect tappers off after some yrs. bottom line: its normal and natural. the anger that they may display is a form of fear of being alone.
thats what the study said. IMO and after losing my wife of 30yrs in 2014, I agree with the findings.

There is probably a reason for a woman to avoid men who are separated. They are looking for a fling or casual, not getting back into another relationship. I think people need to remember who they are. I understand that.

I agree

Just like most people here i enjoy my 'freedom' but deeeep deeep deep down every heart we all want to give love and be loved.
Still hopeful

I would have to agree with Freebird, for a change, although hook up's don't disgust me as they can also lead to better things, and find that most women on dating sites are looking for that Knight in shining armour and all they seem to come across are men in tinfoil hats..

See the thread: "What do women want". Or something like that.
They want so much.

So starting off with a casual relationship gives a sort of 'cooling off period', where you both can say no, or spend more time having a test drive of the relationship, before the dramas and expense of moving in, or de-facto, or marriage.

A hookup or a fling can lead to more ongoing / permanent arrangements, or just therapeutic relief.

You'd have to be a rich fool to jump into the next relationship too quickly. Eg. like they do in Hollywood. Serial monogamy.

After seeing my father left with nothing out of decades of labour, after marriage end, I'm never jumping into any legal bondage until I am absolutely certain she is the one. I don't want to be fleeced. I'm very old now and time for families has passed me by, and women just don't like me, but I'll still never jump into anything until I am very very sure. Or close to death and don't care anymore. Thanks mum.

A long time ago, a guy wrote to me and he was separated. He was from this site and separated for 7 years. "Get a divorce." How many hookups has that guy had, and is he wanting a relationship?

if that is so . Why do a lot of divorced women's profiles say they are looking for friendship ., perhaps men are just more up front about what they seek ???