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Topic:
CAN YOU SOLVE THIS?
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25 (my favorite no.)
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Edited by
Amelinng
on
Fri 05/01/15 12:33 AM
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lol not into the label,,and not a champion just a human who allows for the flaws of other humans and the capacity for all humans to grow and change,, or else what is the point of living Then I suggest you be careful with your words, lest it be misconstrued as you championing the 'unchampionable'! I am careful enough I believe. Some just look for controversy. The question was what do we think of violent men and women my answer was I dont think gender makes any difference in it being wrong for someone to put their hands on another in violence and that I dont think gender has anything to do with it being natural for the person who has violence initiated upon them hitting back the question was also can we trust people have change my answer was I believe everyone can change, it depends upon the situation and the person,, so we should trust they may have changed while being cautious in case they havent that turned into talk of 'abusers' and 'championing' somehow,,, "my answer was I believe everyone can change, it depends upon the situation and the person,, so we should trust they may have changed while being cautious in case they havent" ..... yes, give them the benefit of the doubt. Can someone come up with the statistics of abusers who 'changed' and abusers who 'did not'? I would bet it would be leaning to those who did not whatever the statistics. Until and unless you have encountered a 'die hard' abuser, it is fine to believe that they will change. But you can't force someone who have experienced more damages than you have to believe that, cos' they have experienced something that you can't even imagine. Let's say that I'm happy you worked out your episode, and it is now in the past. But for some people, it would be like 'reliving that nightmare all over again" and 'fearing for their lives' that their abuser will come after them again. I think I have said all I have to say! And for those who hide behind their 'angel masks' ..... I hope you change, and/or that you are unmasked..... before further harm comes to the one who believed you to be who you are not. |
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lol not into the label,,and not a champion just a human who allows for the flaws of other humans and the capacity for all humans to grow and change,, or else what is the point of living Then I suggest you be careful with your words, lest it be misconstrued as you championing the 'unchampionable'! |
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as i said, the human response is fight or flight and we ask men to reprogram that natural response to interrupt it in order to consider the gender of the assailant,, great if they do,, but they are no monster if they dont,, "but they are no monster if they dont,," Sounds like you condone that....... this is so so flawed! really? so if i said liars arent monsters,, does that mean I 'condone' lying? interesting logic We are not talking about liars here...... we are talking about men beating women who are smaller in size/weaker and not able to defend themselves. So, is it ok if the men can't control themselves and hit the women back in retaliation, and then injure her to the extent of requiring medical attention??? Yeah.... sock it to the woman because she smacked his arm, or poked his head? |
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as i said, the human response is fight or flight and we ask men to reprogram that natural response to interrupt it in order to consider the gender of the assailant,, great if they do,, but they are no monster if they dont,, "but they are no monster if they dont,," Sounds like you condone that....... this is so so flawed! |
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Edited by
Amelinng
on
Thu 04/30/15 10:49 PM
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Simply, not my nature. People who do stupid things, have criminal conviction records. That's a pretty wild assumption Really? If, by a 'certain' age, one is an abuser, it would be indicative, that they've been an abuser for a long long time. Somewhere in their history, will be records of reports against them, and possibly arrest records, even if there were no convictions for abuse . Even if there had been records or reports which are not easily available, without a conviction, this person will not be known to be an abuser. And it would be likely that he continues to fool other victims which eventually may become so serious, but may then be too late, cos' a life becomes at stake. Records of such magnitude, in the u.s., are a matter of public record. Actually, not hard to find at all. If, one chooses to look. If..... is a really really big IF! Which woman would look up such records/reports unless that ugly head started rearing from the very beginning of their relationship????? And where do you look if the said person were new, or if it were sealed, and not easily available if from different states/counties? Tell me, Rock....... would you know where to check whether I have a record? And would you check if I have not prior to this caused you to suspect that I even had a record? Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde. Others see abuser as a good partner and parent; behind closed doors, abuser is angry and aggressive. I think this answers my question! |
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Simply, not my nature. People who do stupid things, have criminal conviction records. That's a pretty wild assumption Really? If, by a 'certain' age, one is an abuser, it would be indicative, that they've been an abuser for a long long time. Somewhere in their history, will be records of reports against them, and possibly arrest records, even if there were no convictions for abuse . Even if there had been records or reports which are not easily available, without a conviction, this person will not be known to be an abuser. And it would be likely that he continues to fool other victims which eventually may become so serious, but may then be too late, cos' a life becomes at stake. |
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I admit, that I mock people when they lose their temper. The more they lose it, the more i laugh. Didn't your mom teach you not to 'mock' people???  I wouldn't be surprised if the men you laugh at sock it to you, cos' you would have deserved it. |
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If a woman hits me even once, the relationship pretty much ends right there. Well....what happens if she hits you once, but you hit her back more than once? In all my twenty over years of marriage, I have to admit I hit my husband on the shoulder once......yes ONCE, in a fit of frustration when we were arguing about something! But with the kind of strength I have and my size (he is 5'11" and I am 5'2"), it turned out to be more of a smack. I'm glad he did not hit me back though, cos' if he had, I am sure I would have been bruised and hurt physically..... we are no match to brute men strength. Can't really answer the question, because, I don't hit women. In the event of a rarity, where I might feel endangered, I may bear hug to restrain, until I can remove myself to safety. But, I do not hit. I hope for your sake you never do, and never did! Simply, not my nature. People who do stupid things, have criminal conviction records. Not all abusers get criminal conviction records. Some are never reported as their victims are afraid for their lives, and/or they might not have the support. And some abusers are real good are portraying themselves to be the 'angel'. Their true colors do not show. These are the ones we really really never can tell, and have to BEWARE! |
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seriously, if someone hits you tell them sorry and kiss them?  Come on...... see my  ! I was serious.... that was what my husband did the one time I hit him cos' he said something that got me so so mad, I smacked him on the shoulder, he said sorry and we made up! But frankly, I am just trying to point out the difference when a woman hits a man, and when a man hits a woman...... whether in retaliation or to provoke, the end result is different. We are never a match to a man's strength, even if he is smaller in stature or similar. so we should be ever more hesitant to hit them in the first place,, fight or flight is a natural response,, regardless of gender for a man to hit you BACK, in my opinion, is just a natural reaction if you are both adults I agree...Msharmony! That was the only one time, and I am glad he did not hit back. And if I have painted myself bad here because of my admission, so be it...I did it, I admit it. And I learn from it and never did it again. What I am trying to say here is, we hear everyone saying someone hit them, and they are in an abusive relationship/marriage and what should they do... and then everyone would come out in droves to say their piece..... and always, they are against it. And in your case, give them a 2nd chance? What I would really really like to know is....... who, in Mingle, DARE TO ADMIT that they have ever raised their hands, being abusive, whether physically or mentally or in other ways. good question, I have never been abusive, I did go through growing pains with my first when he lashed out physically, but it did actually happen only once between us, followed by true remorse, and counseling and no other incidents,,, Thank you for seeing my point..... and so now, I wait to see if they are chickens who dare not admit when they are wrong! Or they will hide behind that 'angel' mask! By admitting, 2nd chances can be given, as you stated, but with remorse.... true remorse! But a repeat offender would be difficult to believe in.... cos' you then see they never learn. |
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seriously, if someone hits you tell them sorry and kiss them? Come on...... see my ! I was serious.... that was what my husband did the one time I hit him cos' he said something that got me so so mad, I smacked him on the shoulder, he said sorry and we made up! But frankly, I am just trying to point out the difference when a woman hits a man, and when a man hits a woman...... whether in retaliation or to provoke, the end result is different. We are never a match to a man's strength, even if he is smaller in stature or similar. so we should be ever more hesitant to hit them in the first place,, fight or flight is a natural response,, regardless of gender for a man to hit you BACK, in my opinion, is just a natural reaction if you are both adults I agree...Msharmony! That was the only one time, and I am glad he did not hit back. And if I have painted myself bad here because of my admission, so be it...I did it, I admit it. And I learn from it and never did it again. What I am trying to say here is, we hear everyone saying someone hit them, and they are in an abusive relationship/marriage and what should they do... and then everyone would come out in droves to say their piece..... and always, they are against it. And in your case, give them a 2nd chance? What I would really really like to know is....... who, in Mingle, DARE TO ADMIT that they have ever raised their hands, being abusive, whether physically or mentally or in other ways. |
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No one should raise a hand to someone in anger...man or woman. Anyone that does, has a problem. No one deserves that If someone uses violence then their arguement is already lost I agree..... wholeheartedly! And it is even worse when someone does it, and don't admit they did it! They can fool some people, not all, but some, and if even one is fooled..... these are the ones I am concerned about. |
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seriously, if someone hits you tell them sorry and kiss them? Come on...... see my ! I was serious.... that was what my husband did the one time I hit him cos' he said something that got me so so mad, I smacked him on the shoulder, he said sorry and we made up! But frankly, I am just trying to point out the difference when a woman hits a man, and when a man hits a woman...... whether in retaliation or to provoke, the end result is different. We are never a match to a man's strength, even if he is smaller in stature or similar. Good point, Ame  B.s. This is another myth that needs to denounced. MANY women are no match for SOME men's strength. I'm a strong guy for my size and when I was younger and healthier I was much much stronger. I played football and layed brick starting my freshman year. Sometimes it doesn't matter how strong you are if someone catches you off guard, and I was on many occasions. Sucker punched so hard that my entire shirt and jeans were covered in blood, I had to lie to my parents and tell them I was in a bar fight out of embarrassment. But the same thing happened when I was ready for it from a guy that was bigger than me and all that happened was my cheek turned red. He put more into his punch than she did but because the gang taught her how to fight and she actually knew what she was doing she almost knocked me out. Women do all kinds of physically demanding jobs now and while your frame may not be best suited to do those kinds of jobs for as long as men physiologically, there are women everywhere that are stronger than men. And I am saying that when the women is not stronger than you.... not when she is! And not when she is not someone who knows how to 'hit' a man with her smaller stature. Whatever the reasons, say for instance, regardless of who hits first, she hits him, he hits her, she hits back, and then he hits her again...... who do you think will be injured more if she doesn't know how to hit back? I am not even talking about the kick in the groin... unless my life is threatened. I don't mean to even promote violence.... and in all my life, that was just the only time I smack my ex......... I have the guts to admit it, but we know of some people who beat their women, but do they admit it???? NOOOOO........ they are portraying themselves as the angel.... and fooling all the women who fall for their lies! And then, the next woman who gets fooled...... if I were to tell her, so and so beat his ex up before..... would she believe me? I doubt she would, until he raises his hands on her, and then it might be too late. And when you talk about giving 2nd chances...... same thing, when that ugly head rears its head again, it might be a fatal beating. |
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seriously, if someone hits you tell them sorry and kiss them? Come on...... see my ! I was serious.... that was what my husband did the one time I hit him cos' he said something that got me so so mad, I smacked him on the shoulder, he said sorry and we made up! But frankly, I am just trying to point out the difference when a woman hits a man, and when a man hits a woman...... whether in retaliation or to provoke, the end result is different. We are never a match to a man's strength, even if he is smaller in stature or similar. Good point, Ame B.s. BS? So is it ok for the man to hit back at the woman with his brute strength? I'm not talking about a woman who is toughly built and who is into martial arts or a black belt holder? |
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seriously, if someone hits you tell them sorry and kiss them? Come on...... see my ! I was serious.... that was what my husband did the one time I hit him cos' he said something that got me so so mad, I smacked him on the shoulder, he said sorry and we made up! But frankly, I am just trying to point out the difference when a woman hits a man, and when a man hits a woman...... whether in retaliation or to provoke, the end result is different. We are never a match to a man's strength, even if he is smaller in stature or similar. |
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now are we talking slap and tickle violence... choke me right to the point I'm about to black out and then let go.... step on me with your high heels...lol... no, I think were talking about when cowards hit women. And maybe, women hitting men??? I am sure that happens too. But a man should be a man and just walk away from that and never put his hands up to a woman. ever. you just don't hit women.. it is never acceptable JMO I agree cos' when a woman who is smaller in size and stature than her man hits him, with her small little fists ...... he should just grab her small little fists, say sorry and kiss her!!!
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If a woman hits me even once, the relationship pretty much ends right there. Well....what happens if she hits you once, but you hit her back more than once? In all my twenty over years of marriage, I have to admit I hit my husband on the shoulder once......yes ONCE, in a fit of frustration when we were arguing about something! But with the kind of strength I have and my size (he is 5'11" and I am 5'2"), it turned out to be more of a smack. I'm glad he did not hit me back though, cos' if he had, I am sure I would have been bruised and hurt physically..... we are no match to brute men strength. Can't really answer the question, because, I don't hit women. In the event of a rarity, where I might feel endangered, I may bear hug to restrain, until I can remove myself to safety. But, I do not hit. I hope for your sake you never do, and never did! |
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now are we talking slap and tickle violence... choke me right to the point I'm about to black out and then let go.... step on me with your high heels...lol... no, I think were talking about when cowards hit women. And maybe, women hitting men??? |
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If a woman hits me even once, the relationship pretty much ends right there. Well....what happens if she hits you once, but you hit her back more than once? In all my twenty over years of marriage, I have to admit I hit my husband on the shoulder once......yes ONCE, in a fit of frustration when we were arguing about something! But with the kind of strength I have and my size (he is 5'11" and I am 5'2"), it turned out to be more of a smack. I'm glad he did not hit me back though, cos' if he had, I am sure I would have been bruised and hurt physically..... we are no match to brute men strength. |
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Topic:
WHERE IS EVERYBODY???
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Being busy...... you seem bored, Iam!
OK...need feedback.....shoot!  For me, I always like 'clean cut & shaven' but this got me thinking of the alternative!
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