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Topic:
What is love?
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For me love does affect your feelings and emotions. BUT I use self control and I wont 'give' my love to someone who is not going in the same direction as me. Is it so hard to understand that love only happens when the circumstances and person suit? To whom is this addressed? I agree with you completely. Love is a choice, if you aren't open to love, it's very unlikely you will find it. Love is transcendent. It colors every thought, emotion and feeling you have. It makes your food taste better, colors seem brighter, smells sharper. It improves or perfects every experience in life. Absolutely, both of you...And Spider, you're last sentence is so true and just reading it makes me feel happy and I know the topic is "What is Love", but because I so agree with your post I feel compelled to point out that when love ends, when someone we love makes a "choice" to stop loving us, negative feelings can be magnified too...Sometimes these negative feelings remain in a magnified state for as long as it takes to "re-train" ourselves to stop loving the person who rejected us... Although I do not believe love has one specific opposite some of the opposite feelings, thoughts, emotions I refer to include ultra sensitivity, anger, hate, hopelessness, spitefullness, arrogance, defiance....I am curious if you agree?.... PS: I don't think my post is off topic and I hope it isn't, but if it is I apologize.... Yes, you are right on topic. Say you are a Jew and you hate Nazis, does it make you love your kids less? No. But if you find love, you might find you hate Nazis a bit less. But when love ends, it's a painful experience. It's physically and emotionally traumatic on the scale that it's similar to losing a part of your self. The loss of this transcendent experience is also transcendent. It affects every part of your life negatively. Although I do not believe love has one specific opposite some of the opposite feelings, thoughts, emotions I refer to include ultra sensitivity, anger, hate, hopelessness, spitefullness, arrogance, defiance....I am curious if you agree?.... I don't believe there is any emotion which is the opposite of love. Those emotions could all arise from loss of love, in fact you would probably feel most of those at the same time after losing love, which again shows how different love is from other experiences. |
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Topic:
Men
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I'm starting to think some of these women are just being obtuse. You've hit the nail on the head. And they wonder why their men cheat. No reason to go there. Most of us are single and all of us are screwed up. |
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Topic:
Men
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I'm starting to think some of these women are just being obtuse. You've hit the nail on the head. |
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Topic:
What is love?
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For me love does affect your feelings and emotions. BUT I use self control and I wont 'give' my love to someone who is not going in the same direction as me. Is it so hard to understand that love only happens when the circumstances and person suit? To whom is this addressed? I agree with you completely. Love is a choice, if you aren't open to love, it's very unlikely you will find it. Love is transcendent. It colors every thought, emotion and feeling you have. It makes your food taste better, colors seem brighter, smells sharper. It improves or perfects every experience in life. |
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Topic:
Men
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Someone mentioned earlier about mens genes taking over. It is actually a biological fact that men are built to inseminate as many women as possible in their lifetime which goes against nature and comes from societorial nurture. Most of the men I know who have cheated done it because they are not getting their needs met by the women they are with. I have only had three serious relationships in my life. I have been faithful in all three even though sometimes things have been hard. Most mens needs are really quite simple but a lot of women do not understand that. Hence they stray and believe me I have been tempted. Prepare to be flamed. |
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Topic:
Men
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You said that one of the reasons men cheat is because women become less interested in sex. One of the reasons women become less interested in sex is because the man is not meeting her needs, so no, of course it isn't pointless to discuss. It doesn't help in blaming women for men cheating, though.  That is NOT what I was doing. You need to stop being so defensive, not every man hates women. I'm well aware that not every man hates women. I didn't say anything like that. You were making excuses for men cheating, though. Excuses don't work when it comes to cheating. Those who cheat (men and women) make the decision to do so. They can use all the excuses they want, but they're just that... excuses. I was not making excuses. You need to understand that my positions and thoughts are nuanced. The fact that I say X does not mean I believe Y. Just because I feel that women are often also at fault for cheating husbands, does not mean the men are innocent or the women deserve all the blame. There are plenty of good wives who are cheated on by scumbags. And there are plenty of good men who end up cheating because of lack of sex life. There you go again. You're still saying that women are often at fault for cheating husbands. Sorry, but if a guy cheats due to lack of sex life, that's not being a good man. You didn't want to discuss one of the reasons why there may be a lack of a sex life, you just want to put the blame on the woman. I get it now! I get it! You are going to just take my statements out of context and be offended regardless of what I say. We are on the same page now. Relationships require 100% from both parties. When a relationship fails, it's rarely due exclusively to the actions or inactions of one party. If a man cheats, it's always wrong. That doesn't mean that his wife is blameless! Did she try to fix things or did she let the marriage fall apart around her. Just because one partner gives up, that doesn't give the other partner the right to give up too. A marriage is a commitment and should be taken seriously by both parties. |
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race card being played again... makes me hate him more when i hear that crap... did it ever occur to anyone that all dems are hated by repubs, and vice versa? but no, it has to be about obama being black, or half black, or muslim, or what ever the hell he is... to me, he's just a liar... its a JOKE thread (ps, racism, particularly the subconscious kind, is alive and well, checkout impicit association studies  ) Not everyone has a sense of humor. A joke must be built around a kernel of truth. The truth is that most people don't like Obama's policies. I wouldn't like them from a white man either. We opposed Clinton's healthcare takeover too. So there is no truth in the jokes that anyone who doesn't like Obama's policies hates him or that anyone who hates Obama must be a racist. |
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Topic:
Men
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You said that one of the reasons men cheat is because women become less interested in sex. One of the reasons women become less interested in sex is because the man is not meeting her needs, so no, of course it isn't pointless to discuss. It doesn't help in blaming women for men cheating, though. That is NOT what I was doing. You need to stop being so defensive, not every man hates women. I'm well aware that not every man hates women. I didn't say anything like that. You were making excuses for men cheating, though. Excuses don't work when it comes to cheating. Those who cheat (men and women) make the decision to do so. They can use all the excuses they want, but they're just that... excuses. I was not making excuses. You need to understand that my positions and thoughts are nuanced. The fact that I say X does not mean I believe Y. Just because I feel that women are often also at fault for cheating husbands, does not mean the men are innocent or the women deserve all the blame. There are plenty of good wives who are cheated on by scumbags. And there are plenty of good men who end up cheating because of lack of sex life. |
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Topic:
Men
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You said that one of the reasons men cheat is because women become less interested in sex. One of the reasons women become less interested in sex is because the man is not meeting her needs, so no, of course it isn't pointless to discuss. It doesn't help in blaming women for men cheating, though. That is NOT what I was doing. You need to stop being so defensive, not every man hates women. |
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Topic:
What is love?
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I put love in a box, I keep her in my basement. You put Helena in a box? |
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Topic:
What is love?
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Well I'm a strange one. I see the entire human experience as something transcendent. Something very beautiful, and full of love waiting to be plucked from every moment and movement. I use to think of love as being much smaller but the more I studied and felt comfortable with the thought of a creator I began to see things more as a whole and not in firm or rigid lines of seperation. Love took on more of a flow for me. An exchange between all things without limits. I can be a part of their good or a part of their bad. The closer I move toward the good the more I experience love (on all levels). How is that? How can the "entire human experience" exceed all limits? Wouldn't that mean that the limits were expanded and new lines were drawn to mark what is normal? You are basically saying that you go half way to the middle of a lake and claim that is the beach. It makes no sense, because the waters extend all the way to the shore, which is where the beach can be found. |
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If you look at it statistically, you know the same statistics that show that the crime rate drop in the 1990's was due to Roe v. Wade, the dislike of Obama is basically due to racial prejudice. How else to explain how someone who uses Republican ideas, be so hated by Republicans? Obama doesn't use Republican ideas! He's a straight up socialist. |
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Topic:
What is love?
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..wow..we started with love and ended with hate..i'd say that about covers it..Where's the love..  .. Welcome to the internet, buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy ride. |
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Topic:
What is love?
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That's interesting, because I was actually freeing Love from the box of being a simple emotion or just a feeling and putting it into it's proper place of being a transcendent experience, which is a necessary part of a normal human life.
But you see that as "putting love in a box"? I feel strange that anyone would equate love for a food to interpersonal love. |
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Topic:
What is love?
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Hate is most definitely NOT a survival tactic. It serves no purpose or benefit to the human condition. Absolutely it is! Hate was the guiding force that led us to protect ourselves from war and disease, not to mention protect our gene pool or enlarge it. To early humans, outsiders brought war, disease and contaminated the gene pool. It was xenophobia and hate that allowed humanity to florish. Once numerous large populations existed, societies formed and tried to do away with hate and xenophobia, but guess what? Our DNA is often more powerful than peer pressure or monitary gain. So we still have hate and we still have fear. The wise man uses his innate distrust for outsiders to guide him and keep him wary of strangers, but this distrust, fear and hate must be tempered with experience and understanding to prevent social faux pas. Absolutely. We all make snap judgments based on someone's appearance. Is he part of my tribe? We can't help it because it happens before we have time to think. We often mistrust people based only on their looks or we're drawn in by them. This isn't "hate". Yes, it is. Here is the dictionary definition. to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward; detest: to hate the enemy; to hate bigotry. |
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Topic:
What is love?
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Actually, in the arrogant mind, the super-ego is dull. Therefore the ego readily expresses itself in a narcissistic way. Freud actually relates this behavioral trait to a diminished fallic response. Either translated as "small penis" or inept sexualality. So much for Freud. My life is ruled by my Super Ego. If you had said that my Id was dulled, you might be onto something. I have a very well developed conscience and moral compass, thank you very much. Although what that has to do with my penis, I have no idea.
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Topic:
What is love?
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Hate is most definitely NOT a survival tactic. It serves no purpose or benefit to the human condition. Absolutely it is! Hate was the guiding force that led us to protect ourselves from war and disease, not to mention protect our gene pool or enlarge it. To early humans, outsiders brought war, disease and contaminated the gene pool. It was xenophobia and hate that allowed humanity to florish. Once numerous large populations existed, societies formed and tried to do away with hate and xenophobia, but guess what? Our DNA is often more powerful than peer pressure or monitary gain. So we still have hate and we still have fear. The wise man uses his innate distrust for outsiders to guide him and keep him wary of strangers, but this distrust, fear and hate must be tempered with experience and understanding to prevent social faux pas. |
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Topic:
Men
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How often was she sexually active with her husband? The answer is very likely "Not often enough". Hate to break it too you but it is not always the woman who stops having sex with the man. Guys sometimes just loose interest in perfectly willing and desireable spouses just as often. Wheather it is illness of physical or mental reasons, diabetes, incontinence from prostrate problems, impotencecy, job loss, natural disaster's to a long list of other reasons to halt intimacy even hidden homosexuality. That is true. But it's far more likely that the woman loses interest in sex. Perhaps the man isn't meeting her needs if she's losing interest in sex. That's possible. I'm sure it's true in some cases, but it seems pointless to sit here to speculate what all reasons a woman could have for withholding sex. |
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Topic:
Men
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How often was she sexually active with her husband? The answer is very likely "Not often enough". Hate to break it too you but it is not always the woman who stops having sex with the man. Guys sometimes just loose interest in perfectly willing and desireable spouses just as often. Wheather it is illness of physical or mental reasons, diabetes, incontinence from prostrate problems, impotencecy, job loss, natural disaster's to a long list of other reasons to halt intimacy even hidden homosexuality. That is true. But it's far more likely that the woman loses interest in sex. |
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Topic:
Men
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You are begging the question. You are assuming what is yet to be proven. How do you test the hypothesis that a "drive to spread seed" is the cause of cheating among men? I would go so far as to say that you are introducing an ad hoc hypothesis in an attempt to make the "my DNA made me do it" hypothesis unfalsifiable.  Not at all. What parts of the brain are active when a man thinks about adultery? That would tell you if the theory is correct or not. |
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