My experience is that the vast majority of women expect the man to pay for everything on the first date. If the man doesn't, it's a turn off. In fact, some women even act insulted if the man refuses to pay for her.

Personally, it's a turn off for me if the woman is not willing to share the costs on the first date. If she at least offers, it places me more at ease. In fact, it also helps me learn a little bit more about her. If I really like her -- whether she offers or not -- I might choose to pay for her. But if I'm unsure or if the date has not gone well, I'm very uncomfortable with the expectation that I pay for everything.

It's not about chivalry. The tradition is outdated. More women work now. More couples share costs and expenses. Dating has changed. More women like to know a man better before ever going on a date. The first date is no longer a get-to-know-you event. It has become a I-want-to-know-you-BETTER occasion. As such, the first impression stage is already over at that point. Picking up the tab was always a first impression act. So why does the expectation still linger?

Knowing this, if I offer to pay, it's because I want to show something more. I want her to know that I really like her, and that I am willing to do things for her because I simply want to do them, not because it is expected.

But if I'm unsure if I really like her, I take no offense if she wants to split the costs. Maybe she's unsure too. Or maybe she just likes feeling independent. Or maybe she's making a courteous gesture towards me. Whatever her reason, I know that it's not necessarily a negative. It could actually be a positive.

Some people may tell me that I'm not a gentleman then. Oh well. I'm not going to worry about it. I reserve gentlemanly conduct for my partner. It's how I show her she is special.

Mingle2 used to have an Instant Messaging system, but it was disabled during my absence.

I had used it previously. I'm guessing it may have been abused by scammers, though I never experienced that.

I thought Matthew McConnaughey was great in The Dark Tower. One of his best performances.

I think The Last Kingdom was picked up by Showtime.

But have you tried watching the John Wick series?

That's where you are going wrong with your thinking.

You aren't taking care of what is important to you. You are making your life revolve around pleasing other people. Meanwhile, you feel miserable.

I know how that feels.

Only way to break the cycle is to take charge of your own life.

Based on what you've said, I think you need to find a better job, and it sounds like you have at least some time do so.

You may not realize what opportunities you truly qualify for.

First thing you need to do is create a resume. It has to be the right TYPE of resume though.

Maybe your past jobs aren't impressive. Maybe none of them are anything you wish to make a career. Those things don't really matter. What matters is the knowledge and skills you have acquired.

My skills are what landed me my last 2 jobs. Both pay the highest wage I've ever earned. It turns out that I was using the wrong type of resume. Once I revamped my resume to focus on my skills rather than my work history, employers began coming to me. No application filed. They simply saw my resume online, and decided to contact me about positions they had available.

So perhaps you have marketable skills that better employers are looking for. If so, then creating a skill-based resume might land you a full-time job that pays a much better wage, possibly with benefits.

If that does happen, perhaps you can afford your own apartment. Or maybe you can find a roommate.

But don't go for your ideal apartment right away. Maybe a small studio or efficiency would suit you better starting out. That's what I had for the past 2 years. Now I have a 1-bedroom apartment that is double the size. Perhaps in a year from now, I may be able to afford a larger apartment -- with 2 or 3 bedrooms.

Think of how refreshing it would be to have your own place, where you can have friends or a date over without worrying about family. Consider how liberating it would feel.

I lived with my parents as an adult, not by deliberate choice. I know how suffocating it can feel. It is really frustrating when you can't have a woman over to spend a night, or to cook dinner for her, or to watch a movie just by yourselves, etc. When you live with a parent, you don't get to make your own rules. It makes you feel like you're still a child. You lack the freedom that you always dreamed adulthood would bring.

Don't focus on the negatives like bills so much. Focus on what you will gain. The positives that will make you feel happier with your life.

Then adapt your reality so that it can sustain and maintain your new lifestyle.

Who knows? Maybe you will be able to rent your sister's apartment once her lease expires, if that's what you want and can afford.

24

The year I bought my first brand new car

You could always end up like I did -- homeless.

I lost EVERYTHING.

My car, my apartment, my money, my computer, my books, my furniture.....even my girlfriend!

But know what? I survived. Nineteen months sleeping in shelters, behind bushes, in bus stops, on park benches, in a tent, etc.

I did online surveys at the library on computers. I mowed lawns for money through a friend. I even briefly worked in a law office coding documents on computer.

I did what I could to at least earn some money rather than reducing myself to panhandling.

I spent 2+ years in psychiatric therapy with only mild medication.

I also quit drinking.

Then I got housed through support programs.

Then I got a part-time job.

Then I was recruited for a full-time job that paid okay for someone with no experience. Certainly better than a supermarket or department store.

I moved into a larger apartment. I bought a car.

Now I am about to start another full-time job. This one pays the same, but has more potential for growth and advancement. Even though it's retail, I don't work for a store. I work for corporate headquarters. Better pay scale. Better perks.

3 years ago this month, I was sleeping in a tent!!!

So I have to agree with Tom -- you are making excuses.

Take it from someone who has hit rock bottom and dragged himself back up -- because I did what I HAD to do, not what I *wanted* to do.

Maybe that sounds harsh, but truth is, YOU CAN DO IT. Everybody can. But you have to make a conscious choice to dedicate yourself to making it happen.

It sucks. I hated every minute of it. I had some really dark thoughts. But the important thing is that I stuck with it. I weathered the storm, and my life improved.

You might have some tough choices and tough times ahead. But if you make the choice, dedicate yourself to getting through it and keep moving toward a better life, eventually you WILL succeed.

Sam had two different levels of reaction.

He reacted less to his father's death.

But you also have to remember those 2 deaths also meant the end of Sam's family line unless he get reinstated. After all, he joined the Night's Watch, renouncing all claims on lands and titles. He broke those vows, first with Gilly, then by leaving the Citadel, and then by backing Jon Snow rather than returning to The Wall. He is now a fugitive twice over. He has crimes to atone for. The deaths of both his father AND his brother makes it doubtful -- in his eyes -- that Daenerys will pardon all of his offenses. Not only is his family's future now in doubt, but it also means that Gilly's and the baby's futures have become uncertain. Didn't Sam try to leave Gilly with his family?

As for the throne...

I don't think Jon Snow will survive. Nor will Daenerys.

My pick for the throne? Sansa and Tyrion. Legally, they are still married.

As the episode showed, Sansa actually has some respect for Tyrion. Unfortunately, she believes he has stepped backwards since he left King's Landing. If he were to redeem himself, Sansa might offer to honor their marriage as a political arrangement.

Arya takes over Varys' position.

Sandor Clegane takes over as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard. Why the Hound? Because he's loyal, and he always protected Sansa. He even protected Arya despite all his cynicism.

George R.R. Martin has already stated that the ending is bittersweet. That means some fan favorites are going to die. It also means the throne will likely not fall into the hands of a fan favorite. And yet, somehow there will still be some justice after all.

What could be more bittersweet than Sansa and Tyrion taking the throne together after both of their families have been decimated?

I'm not surprised by Sam's reaction at all.

It was his father. Yeah, the guy never treated Sam well, but it was still his father.

Look at Tyrion. He went through similar trials with his dad, but he still loved and respected him....to a degree. The only reason Tyrion killed him was raw emotion. He felt doubly betrayed by his father. Not only did he allow the farce of Tyrion's trial and sentencing, he slept with the woman Tyrion loved. In fact, he had hired her to seduce Tyrion in the first place. And why? He was trying to discredit Tyrion as leverage to convince Jaime to leave the Kingsguard to become heir to Casterly Rock. But deep down, Tyrion's sense of betrayal had been heightened by the fact that he always wanted his father's approval.

Sam is the same way. He wanted dad's approval. Now he will never have another opportunity to earn it. That's why Sam responds to his death.

Get....up!

The structure of the planes was made of aluminum.

Electrical wiring back in 1971 was either copper or aluminum.

Point is, structural metals weren't the only ones present in the towers. And since a large amount of aluminum was present at the point of impact, it might have melted. That would explain the lack of plane pieces as well as the molten metal that some claim to have see running out of the towers.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrppppp!!!!!

Not just that...

They can rebuild and replace all they want, but it will never be the same.

Once the original stained glass and wood carvings are gone, it becomes much more difficult to marvel over the craftsmanship achieved so long ago.

I know, right?

You can only marry one.

The rest aren't legal spouses. So what is the point of marrying at all?

Nobody needs a marriage license to have multiple partners.

The reason they bring it up is really just because of tax laws.

You don't even need to sign up. The forums can be viewed without logging in.

I'm sure River is right, but I also think some people just don't like forums. My experience with other forums is that the vast majority of people steer clear of them.

Many don't like the attitudes of the people that frequent the topics they are interested in.

Others don't like how easily a thread strays off-topic.

Some just don't like how quickly they can fall behind on an active thread. Too much reading. Too time-consuming. Etc.

Point is, probably 80% - 95% of people on any site avoid the forums on that specific site.

Cooking a very late lunch

I'm sure it is a wind-up.

But I also know there are people out there who truly believe these things. They want to distrust everyone and everything so much that they will ignore all hard evidence in favor of abstract and non-contextual arguments.

I have seen it many times here on Mingle alone.

Some of the long-timers in the political threads here could verify how stubborn some of these people are.

Yes, but they claim that witnesses actually saw molten metal flowing from the building.

Of course, I have NEVER seen anyone question whether other metals in the building might have melted. After all, there were at least copper and aluminum present within the towers. I have no idea what other metals might have been present.

Everyone just says, "steel....steel....steel" without considering other possibilities.

Is it really so difficult to just be honest?

DA,

You can point fingers and place blame, but in the end, there is one indisputable fact you have overlooked -- I did more for you than you ever did for me. You tried to even that score. Unfortunately, your focus was misplaced, and you botched it.