WHat is your opinion when someone who is tryig to date you and they look remarkably like your Ex? Do you say something or just wait until someone else says something? Or they notice from old pictures? I don't have a lot around but there is one of the kids and their Dad that has to cause some questions if someone I am interested in sees it.

Cool Post. Says a lot about what we can learn from how some people live too.

This weekend they are playing Pursuit of Happiness and sadly so many people are getting used to the idea of homeless children.

Hopefully as so many face the brutality of winter those who can will pressure that winter shelters to open early and have more beds/resources.

Clothing drives or Food drives are so easy if you flyer a neighborhood or complex that you are going to be "Sounding the Horns of Plenty" on the day of your choice. Then drive through honking horns and people will come out with a can of this or a bag of that. Even just taking a few things to your local food bank is better than sending people away hungry.

It makes me so irratated when people treat cashiers, store staff, waiters/waitresses nastily.

I understand sometimes customers may have had a crappy day and just overwhelmed but it is getting more and more common. I try to be patient behind these customers but it really puts the considerate customers in a tough situation. You say something the bad customer will curse you out or worse. If you say nothing the clerk will sometimes treat you likewise.

But it does seem like more and more people have an attitude about it being alright to treat store employees badly. I don't know if it is TV or what? Some of it might be people constantly being snide about their job. I have seen "off duty" employees act terrible when they are customers. Especially if they are a "sister" retailer. Or a slightly more pretigeous retailer versus discounter.

The customer is NOT always right and I think it is poor management from the higher ups that allows customers to bully clerks or even department managers. More than once I have apoligized to the clerk after witnessing that kind of behavior and written companies commplaint letters. I don't know what else a customer can do.

I do often write comment cards when I get good service. And tip where it is allowed. Hopefully that helps.

Glad it went well for you. Sounds like a smart gal to be cautious. Wish more guys were gentleman enough to be receptive to double dating. Good luck.

She may have a child of her own and sees the kids.

I can't get over the number of guys who are younger that mail me thinking my grandson's are my kids. Yea right I am going to be preggers at 50! Ewww that makes me shudder just typing it.

Don't know. Californian here. Roberta is not feeling on top of the world tonight so I might be the only Sacramentian.

I bet! I used to drive a truck like that when I was preggers with my son who is your age! lol Come to think of it I might have gotten preggers in the back of it also. Somethin about them farmboys in the moon light; kind of makes a farmwife wanna be all romatic. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

I have found some days I have the will to "do the dance" and sometimes I just don't. It isn't always about the person sending the note so I would suggest don't always take it personal. You might be the right person just at the wrong time.

Sometimes it is just knowing they have different plans you can not be part of. Maybe you are not athletic enough, have a dependent child or parent, they might need your financial help and you really don't have that kind of resource, or you own a home and can't just pick up and leave.

Sometimes people do say things they don't really know are shooting themselves down. Making a list of things you can't stand. A slam about fake this or that. A shot about a certain kind of personality. A joke about some group. People have a lot of experiences, family, even friends that might not be reflected in the their profile but will take it really personal.

I think you have to be yourself but it is probably going to be better to try to be nice and give people a little grace, maybe be a little discreet. Nobody wants to feel like they are dateing a looser, and elitiest, or someone they don't have a chance with just because they are not a perfect match.

I am kind of wondering why a grown man is going into his Granny's and sticking his nose in her fridge a second time.

And why, if he isn't; which I am sure all the good people on Mingle would be doing; carrying in food.

Just seem to show some gratitude for bringing your family into this world to your Grandparent's and even your parents. If not just some self respect.

All some of these cartoons are missing are little bitty peckers on the nice guys (but we got to keep it clean) and big ole arses and a pack of kids on the women who say they want a Prince.

Fighting with spouse or kids.

Stress Busters

Pray daily. It will get easier with practice.

Use a calendar and a journal to keep up the details of a hectic life.

Make a worry list and spend an hour a week, or if you must an hour a day thinking through your concerns and brain storming solutions then spend another hour actually resolveing what you can then put it out of your mind.

Eat breakfast every day. Juice, protein, wholegrain, and milk. Skip the Caffine. Streach and exercise if you need to jump start your energy.

Carry a water bottle and fill it twice daily. Dehydration contributes to muscle fatigue, spasams, headaches, and poor digestion which all contribute to stress.

Take a generic multi-vitamin and skip all the vitamin energy drinks. They can cause serious health issues. Many have basiclly over the counter amphetimines.

Study in the morning when your brain is more absorbent.

Spend time with a friend or mentor each day or at least several times a week. In the bar does NOT count. On line friends are great but they can not replace in person contact. I am not talking about co-workers or the cashier at the store.

Do not work yourself to the ground to support a vehical. Get a bike or a bus pass and park the vehical as much as possible; or trade in what you have for a cheaper vehical.

Find a house share situation while you are in school. Could be that you could do better in and on campus school as a dorm advisor. Or a house parent for a group home. As a pair of strong hands for a senior.

Do not assume that the only way you can increase income as a student is working. Go on line and apply for scholarships. Check in and see if while you have limited means if you qualify for discounts or rebates. You are probably qualified for $350 Renter's rebate for one. I could suggest others. If you are a VET there are a lot of resources there.

Go to bed before you are exhausted. If you get too tired you will not rest well. You get really tense and put your arms over your head (not uncommon for Vets or people who are sleeping in noisey areas) which will give you chest spasams. If you have a poor rest schedule you may have to train yourself to go to sleep. Relaxation techniques and routines and cleaning up your sleep environment can help a lot.

Last but not least Put this all in a frame. You can either be young and stressed and poor for a few short years while you are in school or you can live your whole life that way and be old and stressed and poor.

Hope some of these work for you. Hugs!

What is bankrupting the system is that the majority of Americans could not pass a basic first aid course and or health class before or since they have graduated high school. If they have a chronic illness there is little or no patient education.

What is bankrupting the system is that many of the diagnotics tests and medications that are available over the counter in other countries for free are not available here.

What is bankrupting the system is patients do not own their medical records and many tests are repeated unneccisarily or not available for comparison. We have the technology that we could provide everyone a records "smart card".

What is bankrupting the system is that seeing a doctor is so difficult and so expensive for basic maintenace and preventive care that millions of minor problems go untreated and escalate to catesrophic care needs.

What is bankrupting the system is the number of people who are NOT covered or not covered ENOUGH when serious medical care is needed and they must provide it.

What is also bankrutping the system is the number of procedures that are required to prevent malpractice from tests, to paper work, to micro-management.

What is bankrupting the system is the ridiculouse out of date training and staffing rules that exhaust doctors and nurseing staff and force them into trying to cover up incompetents and just plain mistakes and accidents, and no win outcomes.

What is bankrupting the system is the turfing of prisoners, mental health patients, and dependent and abused seniors into ER's and beds because those care systems are broken and families can not provide the needed level of care with little or no support.

What is bankrupting the system is the antiquated medication and record keeping in many of the facilities in this country that allow for extensive mistakes, waste, incompetency, and terrible service statistics, and tax write offs. If it were any other industry it would be swamped with litigation.

The Insurance industry has made it so the "litigation" of legitimate claims that would get rid of grossly incompetent staff, procedures, and waiting times and layers of beauracy that cost millions in not only dollars but lives.

What is bankrupting the System is believeing that a state medical care system will prevent those who want private care and are willing to pay for it can't get it. People who have money go around their insurer's all the time but people who don't have money are lucky to get any care if they go outside of their insurer.

What is bankrupting the system is the number of costs that keep being pushed off on paying patients because some Doctors and facilities try to be fair and save uninsured lives.

What is bankrupting the system is the first payor requirement that creates a mountain of paper work with in the state systems even when patients clearly can not pay. The whole collection procedure is terribly expensive. Medical bankruptcies are the leading cause of a really wasteful procedure for our court systems. The people getting the care get nothing out of it.

What is bankrupting the system is the number of addicts that get little or no effective treatment until their bodies are ravaged requireing millions in sophisticated care. Not to mention the other costs to the economy.

What is bankrupting the system is many of the jobs that are being created by this broken system are out sourced to foreign employment that tax payers are having to pay for and see no returned income.

If you really like her don't over do the appearance at the job.

Flash her a big smile and do NOT try to slip her a note or chat. Not only is it High School it will make a bad impression on her boss if you are unlucky enough that S/he sees you do it. Most employers frown on fratenizeing with customers and could get her a reprimand or worse terminated. Places hire heavy for openings then let go the over hires for the smallest reasons. You want to torpedo your relationship do something to wreck her job would be sure to do it.

It will be stressful enough day for her If you want to send her a note wishing her Good Luck send her a pretty or funny e-card the night before.

Where pretty much depends on what kind of guy you are looking for. Do you want a guy who is intellectual, physical, family oriented, outgoing, or reserved? If you hate sports obviously a game is not probably going to find you someone you will like in the long run.

As far as guys who will build you up and not tear you down; you want to avoid places where people with self esteem problems hang out; unemployment centers, bars, rehab seminairs, or places that will put you in competition. People who are on power trips can really be tough if you are already having a time. I would take a few personal developement classes or do something that makes you feel stronger before you take on dateing. Dateing is hard on just about anyones self esteem.

If you want to find a guy who is not going to want to spend all your money it helps to date guys who have enough of their own to start with. After that you have to set your own boundries. If you have had some bad examples you might want to think that through and see if you see some personality markers to avoid. The "Entitled" or "Victim" attitude would be the first I would avoid.

I don't think the text on your profile is helping you out a lot. Has a negative vibe. You want to focus on the things you want not what you do not want. Why someone should be attracted to you. What you would be attracted to.

Whatever you were doing for the "timeout" this is not the right time to address it. People's imagination will always be worse than the reality so be vague does you more harm.

A simple reference that "I have three great kids...y/o that live with ----" is enough. Most women are smart enough that they are not going to be the new Mommy.

For a good looking guy I kind of wonder why you picked the photo with the shades. Yea you are smileing but it isn't as flattering as a couple of the others. Might be the clouds in the background. Seems like a cartoon bubble that should have a wise crack with the smile that seems a little forced.

Read some profiles and some of the forums and you will get some ideas of what experience will tell you.

Give yourself a break. You are new it takes some time to hit pay dirt. Get on the forums early evening or on the weekend mornings. Getting comments out there gets your picture seen. NEVER whine you will get chewed up and spit out.

I doubt it would matter to me. I was never in love with someone because of their body parts.

Sounds like a project. Why didn't you do the Cash for clunkers thing?

First thing that came to mind is "two wrongs won't make a right".

Both of your lives are more or less in crisis. Sometimes it is real easy to confuse feelings when you are upset.

Your friend probably found a lot of comfort in being needed and feeling like the hero to a friend and a very pretty woman. Newly single is really scarey; especially for men who would like to hop from one warm bed to the next. That isn't being nasty about your friend that is a normal feeling for anyone faceing being single. Especially with fall and the holidays stareing down the gunbarrel.

My real concern is for your well being. What you are talking about is a pretty severe stress reaction. Whatever trauma you experienced or are re-experienceing I would recommend seeking out some really stable support to get through whatever happen to you. Work through it.

Then in the spring, if you and your friend still have interest, which will not die out if it is real, can start on clear ground. Both of you would have a lot better chance at a happy life. Good luck. Keep you in prayers for peace and strength.