I am trying to figure out why would folks want to be with someone they know is not going to give them what they want? Why waste their time but more importantly your own? Maybe sabotageing the relationship by picking someone you know you aren't going to like gives you an excuse if they don't like you?

I tend to think all sexual orientation is predominently biological.

Some attractions are stronger than others but I still think the person's genetics strongly influence what they are drawn too.

Socialization, and taboos, will modify desire to some degree but if you have a certain gender, body type, personality profile that makes you feel good it is generally pretty consistent.

If someone is born with a combination of attractions we don't often see it seems like society has to joke around and analyze it. That is fine if it is to understand it but it is a whole another thing if it is to exile or harass them.

Welcome to the Playpen!

Actually this is a really good profile.

The suggestions that you need more photo's is accurate. A good engageing face shot. And a couple with out the bulky clothes.

Probably want to avoid shots that accentuate your modest height. Being young it makes you look even younger. Kind of unfair since you come off as a really together young man.

Watch the forums until you see the lay of the land then jump in where you are interested.

Well I very rarely buy things on face value but I don't think it is always necessary to re-invent the wheel. New is rarely valuable solely for being new. I find examineing things and challengeing why people say and do things is interesting. Honest people enjoy teaching; deceptive ones resent it.

What went wrong? My husband died and I am not sure I have really seriously tried to have another one. Didn't need to creatively, economiclly, socially, spiritually, ect. so guess I am just not as motivated as I was when I wanted a mate raiseing children.

Someone that swears a lot always strikes me as someone who lacks the ability to decern things more than a few degrees or focus very well. A string of obscenities is like trying to listen to someone over the noise of a jet. I am sure there are situations where it might be appropriate to let off steam but generally it flunks the test as far as communication. That would be a fatal flaw as far as any serious interest.

Both sexes talk to each other but how often they lie to each other; now that is the million dollar question.

With who cutie?

Don't use it on here too much "Oooh Well He-l!" It looses in translation to print. lol

Welcome to the playpen.

Depends on the situation and the trust I have in the person I am dealing with. A real leader has to know when to follow. Sometimes it is a releif to follow.

I have found when life sucks it is usually related to the people I bring in my life and my choices. Not saying I have mastered it but some changes have seem to help.

When I've worked on bringing and keeping an easyier type of people in my life things over all just seem less of a pain.

When my definition of friendship got a lot tougher some people didn't make the grade. Funny thing about it even if I missed them they didn't seem to take long finding someone new to put the touch on. Suddenly the wisdom of "a Friend a Borrower will never be." or "A true friend tells us the truth's we don't want to hear." and that "Friendships are grown; not found." started making sense.

Also practiceing a little indepedent preventive maintainence on the the things that make life a drag without helps me out. Not putting all my eggs all in one basket helpes me cut my losses. Sometimes that means a little more conservative a lifestyle than I could afford to live but not being forced into a corner relieves a lot of stress.

Last I know I can't prevent every rotten thing that is going to come down the pike at me so I have tried to work on my copeing skills. I have found that the more popular ones; drinking, spending money, food ect. are not real effective. I suppose what works for some is different than for others but having or knowing how to find solutions takes some of the fear out of life.

I am sorry you feel shell shocked but if someone does a 360 turn out of the blue there is probably a reason. It can be you or a host of reasons that might not have anything to do with you.

With out details it is just a guess. Not always when someone leaves you in the dust is it to hurt you. I have repeatedly seen people abandon relationships rather than drag someone they care about along for a miserable experience. Things like being sucked into a crime, going to jail, a catestrophic diagnosis, an illegitimate pregnancy, an assault that they just can't tell you about.

The important thing is when you revealed your feelings they didn't leave you in the dark forever in a day thinking that you had a future. Not a lot of comfort for sure. In time you will probably know why but if you don't getting your feet under yourself and moving on is where you have to focus. Good Luck.

I don't know how many just come in here to look at profiles but seems like pretty much the same basic crew that talks in forums.

Spicey cheese,or, catsup,or sour cream, or chilli, or ranch, or garlic butter, or salsa, or avacado,or bar-be-que, or sweet & Sour sauce, or Malt vinegar.... hey I am Irish taters are a staple lol. But it can be fun theme for a "tasteing party" with friends.

The only thing about bullying a bully is they have brought you down to their level. Which is usually what it is about anyway because bullys only see the people they pick on a toys and you are the true target. Bullys are angry but it is not at the truely weak it is at the peers that they can't dominate.

If I see some one who seems to change partners so often that it is clear that there is minimal consideration of the partners and they have been used for the temporary entertainment then I am going to pass.

If I see someone who takes there time to develope and maintain a relationship; not just get into it and stop, then I am going to show some serious interest.

Lot of people have a holyier than thou attitude because they have been a years long relationship but you know for a fact that it looks more like a war zone plan than a supportive relationship.

I do understand how people who strive to treat people right all along feel frusterated that those who have been self centered for years and get to do and about face and seems like everything passes.

That is probably because there are a lot of people who do turn around so they might not like it but accept it and you don't know what their histories are. Sometimes still waters run deep. Many partners don't have a clue and just think they hit the jackpot. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Both of these guys don't seem to be on the same page as you on several levels.

Seems like you have a sense of urgency that is scareing the romantic thoughts of your dates into hiding. If you have "Baby hunger" on the brain you are probably makeing a guy feel like a sperm donor not a lover.

You have two guys telling you to slow down and enjoy the process; not and unreasonable request.

I agree if you really are not into the idea of the person you have a date with Valentines then you really need to immediately excuse yourself from the invitation. You don't have to give him a long agonizeing explanation just tell him "I am going have to excuse myself from our date Valentines. Thank you for asking but my interest is elsewhere." Be a Lady and do it in person and not publiclly.

Remember you might pressure a guy into saying and doing something he is not ready to do and then spend a lifetime regretting it.

Welcome to the playpen!

Very nice Post! Saved it and going to post it in my office. Thanks.