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Community > Posts By > I_love_bluegrass
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Topic:
How Important???/To You~~
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I mean, if you look around your home, how many people have storage with something they bought but used once and just set it aside. Why did you buy it in the first place? Its like a child wanting a toy because other children on TV have one. They get it, play with it for a day or two and then it just sets in the toy box. Or...You look at a movie on IMdb and it has a really high rating and great reviews then you buy it and it actually sux or you can't wait for it to finish because you find it so boring. Or...You buy an outfit which matches your gf/bf's favorite style and you find the only time you wear it is when they wear the one it matches, but its really uncomfortable or you feel restricted. Or...You eat or don't eat foods which you don't really like. You cook with mushrooms because they like mushrooms but you hate them. You like a lot of garlic in Italian dishes but they hate garlic so YOU don't use garlic. They love Pizza and you detest the stuff yet you have pizza when you get together. Let me address Facebook first.. When someone says they have 50-100+ "friends...I tell them no honey..what you have is 50-100+ "acquaintences"....big difference.. Moving on... I have nothing in my house which isn;t useful.. People are all the time telling me to have a yard sale (when i mention i ciuld use some money.. Sell what? My 43year old bedroom suite? (mattress is much newer though..LOL) My 15 year old TV? My 14 year old living room furniture? My vintage stereo equipment? I don't have 20 pairs of shoes, or clothes I cannot wear... I don't buy things on a whim...or because others are..or to "fit in"...as I never did and still don't give a fig about "fitting in"...because, who makes that criteria anyway? People I don't know, and probably wouldn't like if I *did* know them.....  I do not buy clothes I don't like or are uncomfortable it I would feel "restricted" in...why would I? I wouldn't ask anyone else to do that.. As far as your food comment... First off...I wouldn't be with someone to such a degree that I cooked regularly for them*unless* we were in a serious long term thing, and that would have necessitated them being just as adventurous with regard to food as *I* am... I cook ethnic a lot...and love eating out at ethnic places... If all someone wanted to eat at was Cracker Barrel or Applebee's....it wouldn't work long term.. I might have a casual friend that making so many allowances would work for me.. But, long term? A partner/ spouse? Nope....too many differences means someone is going to be making compromises and bending for the other...and, it it usually one person doing that, and...just no...it gets old after a while, and creates friction and/ or resentment. Better to find someone more compatible... In summation...my views are my own....I don't expect anyone else to agree or live by them...as they shouldn't me,...NOR should they denigrate them.... You (the generic *you*) should do what works best for you....and give others the courtesy and respect to do that also...not tell them how they are wriong...  |
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Topic:
How Important???/To You~~
Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Tue 03/09/21 08:04 AM
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Since M2 is a social/dating site and the M2 forums is a place to relate to many different people from many walks of life I pose a 'related question' for consideration. In establishing a relationship with another (for any reason) which includes personal friendships how important is it to you to conform to expectations of habit? Like: Do you, adjust your listening habits, and clothing to match the other(s)? Will you listen to music you don't really like because they like it or do you make your preferences about it known? Will you buy and wear clothes which make you uncomfortable because they wear and like that type of clothing? If you are at their home and they want to watch a movie or play music you don't like, do you suffer thru and watch or listen anyway? How important is it for you to be 'liked' in every way by them, even when it clashes with your natural preferences? Do you have a 'free soul' or are you bound by other's expectations. How much does peer pressure shape your behavior? How prone are you to participate in fads and public sentiments even if they clash with your own values and preferences? Buying a song, a movie, clothing or other items based more on popularity than personal value? Liking a video or post because it has high numbers of 'likes' or many 'followers'? How often are you ready to stand alone? Be your own person or voice a different opinion? This isn't a 'good vs bad' thread or topic. Its meant to understand others and ultimately ourselves. It asks are you determined to stand alone (if need be) to assure your 'place' in society or are you open to new experiences with a wide range of tolerance. I know there are times when things over-lap between the extremes. There are times when you must take a stand and times when you must align but I'm wondering about 'most of the time'. Regarding your first paragraph: "Do you, adjust your listening habits, and clothing to match the other(s)? Will you listen to music you don't really like because they like it or do you make your preferences about it known? Will you buy and wear clothes which make you uncomfortable because they wear and like that type of clothing? If you are at their home and they want to watch a movie or play music you don't like, do you suffer thru and watch or listen anyway?" Mt ex (in the 80's) did that...it wasn't until we were getting divorced that he told me all those things he acted like he liked and was interested in? He had just pretended.. Since I wasn't pregnant/ we didn't HAVE to get married...I asked him why he married me then... He said because I was cute, and the sex was good....  I became more firm in my standards, which got me two FAR better men (am a widow now) So, that's why I have no patience or interest in someone who can only say "all that matters is I am attracted to you..none of that other stuff matters/ is important/ will work itself out.." "other stuff" like shared interests, values, personal ideology.... No baby.....been there, done that, and, sorry...that isn't enough for me... I feel the more a couple has in common the longer the relationship will last.... You said: "Do you have a 'free soul' or are you bound by other's expectations. How much does peer pressure shape your behavior? How prone are you to participate in fads and public sentiments even if they clash with your own values and preferences?" No...none...and no. I am not and have never been a herd follower. You said: "Buying a song, a movie, clothing or other items based more on popularity than personal value? Liking a video or post because it has high numbers of 'likes' or many 'followers'?" I don't give a darn how many "Likes" or "Followers" I have on Facebook/ social media (which i rarely use)...I don't know this people, why would I care what they think of me? What I like as far as what you mentioned is NOT what the majority of people out there like...my interests/ tastes are vastly different than the "pod people"... Not saying they can't like, prefer and want what they want....not at all... Justr give ME the same courtesy...without demeaning my preferences/ tastes. You said: "How often are you ready to stand alone? Be your own person or voice a different opinion?" That was one of the things my late husband liked about me..he said he liked that I thought for myself, had my own beliefs/ opinions and stood by them. I see no value in making yourself like certain things that you just can't stand....eventually, you will not be able to, like my ex...aside from the fact it is a dishonest start to a relationship. I am who I am...I like, want, need, and prefer what I like, want, need, and prefer... If that is not too your taste/ liking....feel free to move on.. I am not going to change myself to suit you. I would NEVER presume to ask or expect someone to change to suit ME...I expect the same courtesy. |
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Would you date a cranky old man? Which kind of cranky? The "I'm a virulent racist and hate people and I'd actually hurt them if I could, but due to age I'm pretty much physically impotent, but I'm learning I can act out my rage through the internet and a lot of passive aggressive behavior towards those I am forced to be around" cranky? No. The "my life is ruled by fear and insecurity, so I hide behind a cranky facade" cranky? No. The "I never had to grow up, I'm basically an old child, and if I don't get my way I act out in childish ways and call it cranky" cranky? No. The "I'm in constant pain because I didn't consider my health when younger, and even though I may try to mitigate it I can only do so much," cranky? No. The "I can't handle change, and I'm old, so I'm just going to take my millions and spoil someone younger to give my life purpose or live vicariously through them, while only really asking for a minimum of companionship?" Sure. I'd date that kind, if it was convenient for me. I'm sure it is more like "I am old enough and have seen/ experienced enough to where I do not suffer fools/ put up with silly BS anymore...." |
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Why not?
As long as HE would be open to a cranky old woman.,...
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Topic:
Gay Love
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Funny how those people who yammer on about how love can happen anytime, between anyone (meaning, one should not have preferences or boundaries or standards, because we may be overlooking someone/ "limiting" ourselves")..I get that a lot...
But, then, let me use the logic of "well, YOU never know..*you* may be limiting" your self if you refuse to talk to/ date a gay man..." and they get hateful.. Sweetie....it can't be both...if I have definite deal breakers/ nopes...and you want to claim I am "limiting" myself, or should be more "open" to certain things...I will listen to you when YOU do the same,.and open YOURSELF to things that are hard dealbreakers and nopes.... Otherwise, shut up. |
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Topic:
Attraction / lady's
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Not every man overweight has health issues. And many Thin men are in poor health.  |
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Mon 03/01/21 04:00 PM
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Good advice for women. Ten types of Men women should avoid.
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Topic:
World Steak and BJ day ...
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Seriously...steak is that rare that people need to have a special day for it?
Geez...I eat steak regularly...and so did we when my late husband was still alive..it was nothing special.. As for the other...well...if you only get that once a year, I am truly sorry for you.. In which case, there begs the question..how many times a year do you guys go down on your lady friend? 
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Topic:
Did you ?
Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Sun 02/28/21 06:09 PM
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I wouldn't call it "making love"..
A few times in my *much* younger days...I got in a position where sex was expected....and, as I hadn't driven to his pace (he drove), I had no way to leave.. It was easier to pretend I was interested in it too...rather than risk my personal safety, when I wasn't sure how the guy would react.. After a couple times of this...and being put out of a car in a remote area because I wouldn't have sex or give him a blow job....I decided I will NEVER be a passenger in a guy's car unless I happen to know him well.....and know he would not do such things.. IF you never had such a thing happen, or never had bad judgement when you first started dating and going to clubs (in your late teens/ early 20's)..then, be thankful...NOT judgey.. |
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Topic:
those seeking relationships
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Once you get chatting you cannot see the picture yet. After such and so many messages back and forth the photo becomes clear. The idea is to not judge based on looks but get to know each other via chat. THAT is a really nice dating site, which is why I'm still member. I did buy some tokens to do certain things, but mostly it's free. Yes, people place FAR too much emphasis on looks, at the expense of ~everything else.. Most guys..if her picture makes his boner tingle..that's as far as his thought process goes...sadly...THAT is not enough for a long-term relationship..especially when you are older. People have said "well, would YOU want to talk to someone of you didn't know what they looked like?" You betcha...IF we had a ton in common, were on the same page with regards to key core issues/ values...and they could hold their end of the conversation, actually participating in it..... If he ended up looking like a toad...so what? We have already made a mental connection, which is more important to to me than merely looks.. I have seen plenty of guys who were "hot" (by societies standards) who were not what I was looking for at all with regards to the above mentioned commonalities and key core issues and values....so what if he looks good? Why would I possibly want to spend time with him? Looks are transitory...and, as you get older, on serious illness or accident can eliminate this, so...if that is all that is holding/ interesting to your partner (your looks), no thanks....I'll pass... |
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Topic:
those seeking relationships
Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Thu 02/25/21 05:44 AM
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Tried eHarmony inititally..waste of time and money..
You can't search on your own, you have to wait for them to send you matches...none of which weren't even CLOSE to what I was wanting/ looking for...even after answering their many many questions.. They were all serious church going guys, big into sports...none of them had anything in common with me that *I* could see. Me? Agnostic, and hate sportsball....Plus, they all looked like my dad did in his late 50's early 60's.... (I assure you I do NOT look like my 60 year old mom did..so...) Match, OurTime (Ye Old Fa*ts site), Farmers Only, etc....all they pay sites? I was completely ignored....so, I figured why pay to be ignored.. And (this is key)...I found the exact same guys of the free sites as i did on the pat sites, so, why pay for the privilege of being ignored. So, now I only do the free sites....still no luck..most can't engage in any useful "getting to know you" conversation....or they just disappear after chatting which seemingly was going well (at least they said nothing to the contrary).... |
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Topic:
OVERSEAS FLOOD🤔🤔🤔
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What they really need is a filter for people who have not used the site for many months or even years. This ^ |
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Topic:
looking for Real man
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I am a woman...I am almost 60.
I don't think I have ever uttered those words "I am looking for a real man... Can you clarify what specifically that means for you??? |
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So..when will it NOT be retrograde/ stop mucking things up?
So some of us can put off certain things until then...thanks! |
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Sat 01/16/21 09:42 AM
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Well... happy you got the cars you want. But there is this things, yes. Example... I knew this older dude, fat, in his 60s, and not particularly attractive with his huge belly and underchins. Then he suddenly had a gf, some 20 yrs younger. Oh, glory halleluja! Love of each other's life and more blabla. But okay, if he was happy, why should I care. He did put himself on a diet, I guess he was suddenly self-conscious of his huge protruding belly. Then a while later he posts photos of himself having bought a cabriolet for his birthday, because, hey, he'd always dreamt of that! And I knew right away she'd broken up with him. I checked it, and yup. Compensation to get the car. Somehow the car is compensation for not being able to get/keep a woman I guess. When younger, it's often losers who drive the expensive cars. They have no life, no girl, and money to spend so they get an expensive car that young guys with a life cannot afford. Not making this up, I've seen it too many times. Somehow a car is a man's way of compensating. It's related to his ego. And sure, almost all men may dream of an expensive 'p*ssy mobile' as this dude in "True Lies" called it. But I know few who have a full life who actually own such a car... And when an old geezer is driving it... well, do I have to say it... Yes. In high school (and later) I purposely avoided the guys with the fancy, expensive cars..for the reason you stated above.. I found they were mostly jerks and ***holes, who had no real interests and personality, and needed the car as a "hook".. Meanwhile..I am over here dating the fabulous guys with the Dodge Omni, Ford Fiesta, Festiva, and Ranchero... This was quite some time back. |
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Topic:
This is a rant.
Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Sun 12/27/20 07:04 AM
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Well..I see you put on a picture...good start!
 Now, how about writing something about yourself in your profile....your interests, what you are looking for..etc....so a woman will be interested in replying (because she sees something you two share in common, or that interests her)? |
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Topic:
This is a rant.
Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Sat 12/26/20 06:47 AM
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Well, here's some real advice
) You have NO picture...and you have nothing written about yourself in your profile..no interests, no what you are lookimg for...no nothing about YOU....so, why would anyone even be interested in replying? How about you make a informative profile, and post a picture... Effort in equals effort in return.... Blind messaging tons of women doesn't count as "effort"..if you have no picture and no profile.. |
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Topic:
Just an Observation
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And, no...not all women have that experience...
Broad, sweeping stereotypical generalizations need to die.. Even back when I was in my 20's and all that *and* a biscuit....i was never hounded by, or had drinks sent to me by guys... |
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Topic:
Locked up
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We had that one before and if memory serves we discussed it extensively... Question is, why would you want that? And why does it matter what we would do? People ask for input/ opinions all the time, like about a car they are thinking of buying, or a apartment complex they are considering moving to....or about some appliance they are considering.. People just like to hear thoughts and input on some things...
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